Baboon Pirates

Scribbles and Scrawls from an unrepentant swashbuckling primate.

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Location: Texas, United States

Friday, December 30, 2011

Let's Get Small!

Four Gun Posts In A Row? Time For Crapblogging!!

A few weeks back, Tam mentioned a cartridge called the ".10 Eichelberger Long Rifle". I'd never heard of the critter. Seems that you pull the bullet out of the case, reneck the primed brass, then stuff in a smidgen of powder and a tee-ninesy .1" bullet. Yeah, one tenth of an inch diameter!

And I thought the .17 Rimfire was a silly idea...

My idea of reloading humor is more along the lines of the .22 Eargesplitten Loudenboomer, a .378 Weatherby Magnum case necked down to .22 caliber. Runs about 4600 fps, or so fast it redshifts and hits the target before you even pull the trigger! ;-)
Looks like this:

Well, for every "Bigger = Better", there's another group that wants to go as small as possible, and the .10 Eichelberger Long Rifle attempts to do just that.

As small and handy as the .22 Long Rifle is, due to the primed rimfire case, you just can't reload the thing with any ease, economy or safety.

So, for the crowd that just has to have a reloadable centerfire round suitable for a charging shrew or rabid hamster, here's your ticket!

The .10 Eichelberger Dart & the .10 Eichelberger Pup! The Dart is a .25 ACP case necked down to .10, and the Pup is a .22 CCM case (essentially an old .22 Velo-Dog case, named way back in the day when you shot at angry dogs from your velocipede with an itty-bitty revolver)

The round in the middle is a .22 Long Rifle for comparison. Below is a .22 LR with a quarter, for those of you who don't have such things constantly spilling out of your desk drawers...

I know there's a better solution. Someone out there has necked down a 30mm Vulcan Avenger case to launch a Victrola needle at Warp Factor Seven...

(Click to embiggify!)

Thursday, December 29, 2011

Gun Week Continues

I Think I Just Jizzed In My Pants...

The Russian WWII "Fire Hedgehog".

88 submachine guns mounted in the belly of a TU-2 attack bomber.
I think they're PPD-40s, not PPSh-41 SMGs.

Completely useless, but way cool!

Wednesday, December 28, 2011

Guns That Hurt On Both Ends

I Should Be On Vacation This Week...

I got to thinking about how stout a reload I'd be willing to put through the Ruger Redhawk before I p#ssy out, pulling off the wood grips and putting some Hogue SquishyGrips on it.

I've got a Hogue Monogrip on the Blackhawk, and it tones down the .357 bark to a mere whimper. I also had a Monogrip on the Speed Six, and while it works like a charm, the rubber snags a bit on fabric, and adds considerably to the bulk, so I put the hardwood grips back on. I'll just have to let it sting when I run the 158 grain boomers through it.

That line of thought led me to list the guns I'd just as soon never shoot again, based on their ability to inflict pain on the user as well as the target.

#1 is the Smith & Wesson Model 13 in .357 Magnum. Essentially the same size as my Ruger Speed Six, this revolver has some odd quirk of ergonomics in that each round felt akin to a ball peen hammer being smacked into the bones of my palm. The Pachmayr grip actually made it worse than the stock wood grips would have been. (I'm of the opinion that Pachmayr grips are a cruel joke foisted on the shooting crowd)

The Model 13 is a stainless steel bull-barreled gun, so at least there's some weight there. An alloy or Scandium frame would be even worse...

#2 is the Yugoslav M48 (Mauser clone) with the steel "Skull-crusher" buttplate. Designed to poke deep wedges in Slavic craniums, the buttplate also does a doozy on your shoulder when firing full-power military ammo. It's a bolt action, so there's nothing to slow down the recoil other than the soft tissues of your shoulder. I've been known to take a range sandbag and stuff it between the rifle & my shoulder.

#3 - Rifle #5 Mk 1 (aka Jungle Carbine) - A chopped and lightened Lee Enfield, the Jungle Carbine also comes equipped with a log-splitting wedge cleverly disguised as a rubber recoil pad. In addition to the shoulder trauma received, you'll miss your target due to the inherent "wandering zero" problem endemic to the carbine.

#4 - H&R "Topper" shotgun & clones - A light single-shot 12 gauge, this has just enough weight to it so that you think you won't fracture your collarbone. This is not the case. It's OK with birdshot, but a round of buck will make you cry...

#5 - Any T/C Contender or other single-shot rifle/pistol in a rifle caliber larger than .223 - Look, it's a stunt, OK? Just admit it! You can just as easily carry a rifle wherever you need to blast prairie dogs! Shooting .416 Rigby out of a 4 pound pistol is just nucking futs.

Here's a trio I wouldn't try on a dare.

#1 - This is a Stoeger double, similar to my 12 gauge coach gun. I recognize the triggers and forend latch. Unlike mine, someone has sawn off the stock & barrels, leaving about a foot of barrel. Better get two hands on it, this one's gonna jump...

#2 - The Zombie Special. Remember the M48 from above? This is the same model, kitted out with a 10 round mag, shorty barrel and muzzle brake. You're gonna need that brake. You could light up the Astrodome with the muzzle flash. Enjoy that buttplate separating your arm bones.

#3 - Russian Mosin-Nagant Insanity. The 7.62 x 54R cartridge is a firebreather out of a carbine barrel. I can't even imagine how violent the flash & bang will be out of this abomination. Good luck working that bolt! Without the stock for leverage, you might end up using a come-along hooked to a truck bumper to pry that bolt lever up.

Monday, December 26, 2011

Monday Night Gun P()rn

In Which I Continue To Impersonate A Gun Blogger

Got some Xmas cash burning a hole in your pocket? Need something exceedingly rare to inspire pistol-envy at the range? Have I got the toy for you...

First, a little background. The Pistole Parabellum 1908, more commonly known as the Luger or P.08, was Germany's primary military sidearm in WWI, and was also common in WWII, though it was eventually replaced by the Walther P38.

It's the gun that gave the 9x19 mm cartridge its common appellation of '9mm Luger', or '9mm Parabellum', since the cartridge was inextricably linked with the pistol it was created for.

There were quite a few Lugers made in 7.65, but the really rare Lugers were the few chambered for .45 ACP. Made for US Army testing, only two examples were provided by German armsmaker DWM. A handful of other .45ACP Lugers have surfaced, usually prototypes or one-offs from custom builders.

The beauty below is one of those custom versions. Made by John V. Martz of California, it's a snubby Luger in .45 ACP, lavishly engraved with an oak leaf & acorn pattern.

As I understand it, Martz, a master gunsmith, takes TWO lugers, saws 'em in half and then rewelds the frames to get the necessary width for the .45 cartridge. He's also done the same process for P38s, and chambered both custom models in everything from .38 Super to .357 SIG! (How awesomely cool would that be? A chopped and bobbed P38 in .357 SIG!!)

Be prepared to shuck out the shekels. This one will run you $7950 + TTL at Collector's Firearms. It's still a bargain! I read that you couldn't get one made nowadays for less than 15K.

Saturday, December 24, 2011

Merry Christmas, Y'all!

I Still Have Two Gifts To Acquire...

Well, I've dawdled around the house long enough. Time to load up the sleigh and head toward my sister's place.

Have a very Merry Christmas, everyone.

Friday, December 23, 2011

Vacation Time!

Wish All You Want, It Ain't Gonna Snow...

Well, not much of a vacation. Just off Friday and Monday.

I'm SOOO tempted to slink back to bed for a few hours, but I've got a laundry list of items that need to get accomplished before driving out to my sister's place tomorrow afternoon.

Still need gifts for my BIL and sister. At this late date, it's a gift card or a wad of cash.

Clean out the truck, oil change, laundry, go to the pharmacy, and so on.

OK, maybe I do need some more bed time. What the hell. I'm on vacation!

Wednesday, December 21, 2011

Random Funnies

I Should Have Taken The Week Off...

More amusement by way of the Interwebs:

Monday, December 19, 2011

December Challenge

In Lieu Of Actual Bloggy Content!

OK, campers. Here's a quiz.

What is the item pictured, what do you get from it, and what do you do with it once you get it?

I can almost guarantee you'll have some hanging about this time of year.

Good Luck!

UPDATE: Yes, that is indeed a nutmeg in its natural state. Red mace surrounds the nut.

Saturday, December 17, 2011

Damn! Thought I'd Found My Pirate Ship!!

First Target? The Disney Cruise Ship!!


Friday, December 16, 2011

Best Cigars of 2011

Is It Cigar Time Yet??

I thought I'd share a few of my stogie shop finds from the past year.

In no particular order, 'cause they're all damn fine sticks!

1) CAO La Traviata - I tend to prefer a dark maduro wrapper on my stogies, but for this bargain-priced cigar, I'll recommend the "Divino" with the lighter Habano wrapper. It's a medium/full robusto, with a Dominican/Nicaraguan filler. Remarkable cigar, considering the low price. I've never had an uneven burn, and it's a pleasure to smoke.

2) Quesada Oktoberfest - The good news? They're outstanding! The bad news? They're mostly gone. A limited release from Quesada, the Oktoberfest came in two sizes, the Bavarian, a 5x52 Robusto, and the Uber, a 6x65 Super Toro. With a dark, oily Dominican wrapper over Dominican binder & filler, this one is a powerhouse of flavor. Alas, the Uber has disappeared from store shelves, and the Bavarian is going quickly. Better hurry. I'm not giving you any of mine!

3) Perdomo Reserve Champagne Noir - The Perdomo Reserve Champagne has been out for quite some time, but this year they added a Super Toro with a maduro wrapper. I'm a huge fan of the 6x60 size, but for you guys who have Freudian objections to large cigars can select a smaller size as well. The Noir is a bit bolder than the usual Champagne, and aside from the occasional uneven burn, it's a fine cigar.

4) Pinar Del Rio PDR 1878 Reserva Dominicana - All of the Abe Flores blends are pretty tasty, but I really like the red-labeled Reserva Dominicana. The pigtail cap is a nice touch, and you can't beat the price. Any PDR will be a tasty smoke, but this leads the bunch.

5) San Lotano Oval - A new blend from AJ Fernandez, the 6x60 Gordo combines the best features of a box press cigar, without that annoying squared-off profile. The draw is remarkably smooth and flavorful, and produces huge clouds of smoke with very little effort. It's a mix of Dominican & Nicaraguan filler inside a Habano 2000 wrapper. Smaller vitolas are available, but why bother? Go big or go home!

Wednesday, December 14, 2011

Christmas Is Coming...

More PhotoChop Phun!

I posted this on FB yesterday. Those of you who missed the "Game of Thrones" miniseries on HBO, or haven't read GRRM's Song of Ice & Fire might miss the punchline...

Tagline: Try not to lose your head in all the holiday excitement!

(Click Pic to Biggie-Size)

Tuesday, December 13, 2011

Food-Covered Tasty Treats

Santa, I Know She Won't Fit In My Stocking, But...

Oh, my.

I've stumbled across a picture of Nigella Lawson covered in caramel!
(Posted below!)

I've already got a pic on the blog of Monica Bellucci covered in honey. (And one with her wearing naught but espresso grounds, now that I think about it!)

If I can somehow acquire a pic of Jordana Brewster and Cote de Pablo wrestling in butterscotch sauce, I may just achieve Nirvana. Or my head will explode. Well, something might explode.

Which leads me to the following video. (Link goes to YouTube, in case the embed effs up)

Probably not worksafe, even though it's composed only of clips from Nigella's show, artfully arranged and edited!

Sunday, December 11, 2011

After-Action Report

El Capitan Puts On His Drinking Cap

I saw a commercial a few weeks ago advertising a new beer from Guinness.

It was a lager, not a stout. I do enjoy a Guinness Stout every so often, but it's a bit heavy for regular drinking.

A couple of weeks prowling the supermarkets turned up no sign of the new brew, so I stopped by the local MegaLiquorMart to inquire.


I got home, and sampled a few whilst perched on the front porch with book & cigar.

The result? I am whelmed.

Not overwhelmed, not underwhelmed. Just whelmed.

In other words, meh. If you want a Guinness, drink the stout. It's what they do best. If you want a dark beer, stick with Shiner Bock, Michelob Amber Bock, or Negra Modelo.

Saturday, December 10, 2011

Is It That Time Again??

Xmas Time Is Here, By Golly! Disapproval Would Be Folly!

I just got my first couple of Christmas cards in the mail...

Usually I've got my tail tied in a knot by now, trying to get mine addressed and sent out before the 24th.

Somehow, the whole process escaped me this year.

Hmmm. Better go see what's available.

Be warned, they might be cigar-scented this year. I might just do all my addressing and stamping from the Man Cave!

UPDATE: Forgot this part! If you're a regular visitor and not on the official El Capitan Xmas Card mailing list, send your snailmail details to baboonpirates2 (AT) gmail (DOT) com. Muchas Gracias!

Thursday, December 08, 2011

The 10/22 Dilemma

'Cause EVERYONE Needs At Least Five Or Six .22 Rifles!!


Collector's has kinda-sorta tweaked my fancy. Again...

It's a Ruger 10/22:

I'm such a pushover for a straight-stocked long gun. If this particular Ruger 10/22 had a Mannlicher forestock instead of the Schnabel forend, we wouldn't be having this chat. I'd be tear-assing across town to put it on layaway.

As it is, I'm intrigued, but not convinced.

I haven't yet taken a swig of the 10/22 Koolade. Ruger 10/22s are like Barbie Dolls for men, even more so than AR15-type rifles. Before you know it, you've got a closet full of accessories, and you spend your weekends playing Dress-Up with your rifle.

I like the stainless steel. I love the English-style straight stock.

HatehateHATE the fishscale inletting. OK, not even inletting. Die-stamped texturing.

Meh. I'll hang on to my Marlins & my Savage .22s for now. They'll get the right 10/22 in sooner or later.

Wednesday, December 07, 2011

Stop Telepathically Raping Me!!

Must Be Residual Nuclear Testing Fallout

"Crazy" is not a medical term.

Still, it's a lot easier to slip into conversation than "Absolutely Batshit Insane" or "Nuttier Than Squirrel Turds".

I'm a bit astounded by the sheer number of stories that reach the news where an innocent soul has suffered some misfortune due to not an accident, not premeditated malice, but instead the unlucky coincidence of interacting with some whackjob that got a triple dose of Rabid BugFuck when they were passing out mental health.

The story I'm about to relate reminds me of a cartoon by Sam Gross that was published in 'National Lampoon' a couple of decades back.

This young guy is sitting in a laundromat waiting on a dryer, and some old lady and her husband are there. She's folding a pair of knickers about the size of a mainsail, and the grubby, gnarly husband leans over and says "You have only to glance at my wife's intimate undergarments, and I shall be forced to kill you."

So, keep that cartoon in mind when you take a look at this pair:

Here's the story:

The wife of a man accused of shooting his neighbor because he thought the neighbor was "telepathically" raping her, has now been charged with encouraging her husband to "go for it."

On Oct. 30, police say Michael Selleneit took a handgun that he kept under his pillow, walked over to his neighbor's trailer and shot Tony Pierce, 41, multiple times as the man was working in his yard.

When Selleneit was arrested, he told police he shot Pierce in self-defense and intended to kill him, claiming Pierce had been "telepathically threatening he and his wife" and had telepathically raped his wife. It was a claim that Selleneit had been making for years.

Next time my neighbor wants to borrow the edger, I'm putting on a Kevlar vest before I open the front door...

Tuesday, December 06, 2011

Still Hunting Pop Icons!

Only 18 Shopping Days Until Xmas!!

The blogpost that refuses to go away, 'cause it's driving me crazy...

Due to the help of readers AlanDP, Elisson, ConnYank & Grey, there's been a few holes filled in with the unknowns in the Pop Culture Icon Pop Quiz.
(Or, just scroll down a few posts instead of clicking the link!)

I've done a quick cut & paste job with the unknowns. Anything jump out at y'all?

Saturday, December 03, 2011

The Swing Has Swung...

Sic Transit Gloria Confinio

An unpleasant surprise this week.

(Click pic to embiggify, it's a little dark at this size)

The tree swing that's been a fixture of the cul de sac for years has collapsed.

My next door neighbor Greg built it out of 4x4s, lag bolts and heavy chain back when his kids were in diapers. He & his wife Pat would sit out there in the evenings as their kids ran & shrieked. All of the neighbors had a sit out there from time to time, myself included.

Greg died of cancer years later, but the swing still remained, and the kids just kept growing up. Eventually, Pat & Greg's kids brought their own crop of youngsters into the world, and they got bottle-fed and rocked out under the oak tree as well.

Even my nephew Sammy & niece Grace got in on the fun. The swing was getting a little rickety, and the backrest was mostly gone. Sammy took a spill off the back, and barely avoided getting a leg fractured when it got caught in a gap while the heavy thing was still swinging.

The swing's days were numbered. Sometime between now & next summer, they'll plow up the pavement, put in storm drains and sidewalks, and pave over the cul de sac. The tree won't survive the process, and the ensuing lack of shade will change the character of the cul de sac forever. I'm lobbying hard to get the City to alter the plans to avoid a solid span of concrete and allow another tree to be planted, but it's an uphill battle.

Perhaps sensing it was time to gracefully depart, the tree & swing made their own choice. We discovered the swing had collapsed during the night, the branch that had held it for so many years had cracked clean through.

I'd like to think there was an understanding between the tree and the swing to part company while no one was aboard to get hurt. Certainly the timing was fortuitous.

So long, swing! You'll be missed!

Thursday, December 01, 2011

Photoshopping Phunny Money

A Fifty? He's Worth Twenty At The Most!!

I haven't fired up the photochop machine in a while...

There were a few pics posted online from the recent Hysterics at Eric's.

I just couldn't resist the urge to make some counterfeit CSA money!

(Click to embigginate!)