Baboon Pirates

Scribbles and Scrawls from an unrepentant swashbuckling primate.

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Location: Texas, United States

Thursday, November 29, 2012

Dewar's? I'm Not That "Seedious"

Fun With Booze Advertising

I'm going to have to remember to ask Eric the SWG (a Scotch whisky connoisseur of some reknown) what he and his Caledonian Missus have to say about those new commercials featuring a very English Claire Forlani adopting a Scottish brogue to shill for Dewar's White Label.

I suppose their aim is to sway the Young & Hip away from the PBRs and froo-froo cocktails into some serious liquor-drinking, a message I support wholeheartedly.  If you can't learn to best a fifth of brown liquor over an evening of drinking, you probably ought to go back to neon-colored shooters involving candy-flavored schnapps and jello.

Still, Ms. Forlani's commercials don't do it for me.  She's urging the "drinking man" to be "seedious" about their tipple, whilst slinking around a posh club with a highball full of Dewar's over ice.

Sure, a woman that appreciates some good Gaelic usque beatha is a rare enough bird to be intriguing, but Forlani shows a comfort level with the Scotch bottle that in retrospect is somewhat alarming.

The casual twist to crack open a new bottle, the double pour in the heavy glass, and the obvious savor of the sweet heat...  Nope, that's a woman pissed off & holding a heavy glass that'll likely be rocketing at your head in 3 or 4 more drinks.

Instead of being aroused, there's this mighty "THHWAPAPAPPP!! sound of my goolies being sucked up into my abdominal cavity at high speed...

Another Glenmorangie for me, please.  And hold the drama...

Tuesday, November 27, 2012

Gun Show Options - Yes Or No?

SPDRs & Derivatives Are Strictly Verboten!!

I've been going to gun shows for at least 30 years, and I can't believe this idea has just occurred to me...

Can you put down an option with a dealer?  Is that sort of thing even done?

Let me 'splain...

Let's say I've got a wad of cash, and I'm going shopping for one particular item at the Gun Show.  I've got 8-10 items constantly on the "WANT" list, but this trip is earmarked for, oh, let's say a Colt Commander in .38 Super.

If I can't find that particular smokewagon, I'm open to acquiring a .50-90 Sharps repro or a .458 SOCOM AR upper, but my hopes are on the Colt.

So, enter the gun show.  Got that bundle of Franklins making a smoky spot in my jeans, and there's 10 acres of table space in front of me.

Suddenly, there it is, on the 3rd table inside the door...  A pristine Sharps repro in .50-90, complete with micrometer sights and all the trimmings for only $1500.  It's got reloading dies and a gunnysack full of brass.  Seller's even wearing a hat saying "CASH MAKES ME BARGAIN LIKE A DRUNKEN WHORE"

Damn.  I want it, but that's not why I'm here.  I want to come back and get it if I can't find the Colt, but you & I both know it'll be a gone pecan as soon as I turn my back.

Can you offer an option to the seller?  F'rinstance:

"Mr. Seller!  I truly like the looks of that Sharps.  I'm inclined to buy it.  Here's my wad of cash to let you know I'm serious.  If I offer you a pair of $20 bills, could you be persuaded to take that Sharps off the table for the space of 2-3 hours while I look at the rest of the show?

If I don't see my heart's desire, I'll be back inside of 3 hours, and we'll apply those Jacksons to the purchase price.  If I don't show, you've got that $40 for your time & trouble, and you put the rifle back on the table."

Has anyone ever done this?  I'm just curious.  It seems worthwhile if you see a great bargain, but you're trusting the seller to follow through and not "forget" who you are.

Saturday, November 24, 2012

Sharp & Pointy Polishing Day

Wipe, Scrub, Wipe, Scrub, Wipe, Scrub, Wipe, Scrub

My WD-40 shpritzing finger got a workout this afternoon...

I'd noticed that a couple of my carbon steel blades had picked up a ruddy patina, the precursor to a nice powdery rust coat.

That leads to pitting quicker than you can say "iron oxide", and that'll eat up steel at an alarming rate.  If you've ever seen a really old blade, those big pits and chunks missing are the result of oxidation slowly eating into the blade, and converting solid steel into rust, then slowly flaking away.

If you stay on top of it, you can keep things sharp & shiny, but all it takes is 6 months in a drawer, and you can pull out a blade that looks like chiggers got to it.

I think I'm going to invest in some beeswax polish.  A nice museum grade polish is supposed to keep the rust at bay for much longer than oil alone.  It's kind of a PITA to apply, but as the average value of my pointy collectibles increases, it's looking like it'll be worth the effort.

I'll try and get some pictures posted.  I need some daylight for that.  Shiny pointy things look better in sunlight.

Thursday, November 22, 2012

Giving Thanks

The Turkey Was Eaten.  The Turkey Was Good!

With an entire hour left on Thanksgiving Day, I suppose I ought to post about what I'm thankful for...

1) Procrastination - If it's not worth doing late, it's not worth doing.

2) Cheetos - I mean, the day's already phuct calorie-wise.  You might as well have a cheesy salty snack.

3) Family - Annoying, intrusive, over-emotional, often psychotic, but often all that stands between you and the cold cruel world.

4) Friends - The glue that holds your psyche together.  I'd have been off the rails years ago without my friends to keep me centered.

5) Continued Employment - All things being equal, being employed is better than not, even if you do work for The Man.

6)  Puppies, Fruit Bats, Sloths, Pangolins, Tree Frogs, Pygmy Goats, Kittehs.  Take your Cyoote however you can get it.

7)  Internal Combustion Engines

8) Air Conditioning

9) Bourbon, Scotch & Rum

10)  Plumbing

Tuesday, November 20, 2012

Coincidence? I Think Not...

They'll Get You One Way Or Another...

So, on the same day that I post a supportive comment on a friend's Facebook comment about the soulless insurance industry and their nefarious practices, I get home to find a phone message from MY insurance company haranguing me about a late premium payment and threatening to rat me out to the state DMV for lack of insurance.

WTF?  I log onto my bank account, and sure enough, the check to the insurance company posted YESTERDAY!  So these fuckers had my money, and had to piss in my Cheerios regardless.

How much you want to bet this "late payment" will come up as a point of contention when I try to renew next year?

Don't trust the social networks, y'all.  They're mining data & keeping an eye on you.  You are not the customer, you are the PRODUCT!!

Monday, November 19, 2012

Get Out! Get Out Now!!

A Public Service Announcement

I'm told that the City of Houston's Xmas tree-lighting ceremony is scheduled for Friday, November 30th, sometime around dusk.

Now, downtown traffic is already phuct beyond belief due to METRO installing more of their toy train rails, and there's always at least 10% of the available pavement that's torn up for some repair or renovation.

The tree-lighting gala will turn everyone west of Main and south of Prairie into a pedestrian for most of the day.

So, do what I'm doing.  Take the day off, go get drunk/laid/whatever.

Just stay the f#&% out of downtown that day...

Friday, November 16, 2012

Engine Rebuild?

Where, Oh, Where Has All My Oil Gone?

You can always tell when I'm overdue for an oil change.

I'll take a corner slightly faster than usual, and whatever oil remains in the sump pulls away from the sensor, causing the gauge on the dashboard to dip to zero oil pressure momentarily.   As soon as the truck is back on keel, pressure restores.

Still, that's a sign that I'm better than a quart low, and long experience with the truck has taught me to keep a couple of quarts under the seat for a quick remedy.

I wish I know where the oil was going.  Obviously, it's either leaking past the rings or past a seal somewhere.  For once in my life it's not dripping out of the oil pan.   I've got a pristine new concrete street to park on, and I've looked for any telltale splotches underneath and haven't seen any.

There's no thick cloud of smoke when I accelerate, though.  Obviously I'm not at the quart-a-day level that previous cars I've owned have reached, but I'm for sure losing 2 quarts every 3000 miles.

So, how long until I need a ring job?  A complete rebuild?  There's 180,000K on the engine.

Help me out, gearheads!

Tuesday, November 13, 2012

Aaaand... We're Done!

Open Book?  More Like Open Bottle!

18 weeks of fun wrapped up this morning with the final exam.

The Man had me going through an accreditation course for the last few months, and I'm pleased to say that my Tuesday routine of getting up before the crack of dawn and driving across town has come to a close.

Overall, it was a positive experience.  Good for networking, and some good material.  OTOH, the quality of the instructors varied greatly, and a lot of time got wasted due to their failure to control the class and keep things on topic.

It's been a few years since I took an honest-to-god exam.  Kind of fun, to tell the truth.

Back to the salt mines tomorrow...

Sunday, November 11, 2012

Weekend Writeup

Where's My $#(*%*@ Bottle Opener??

Well, Day Two of a three day weekend, and I'm still doing nothing productive.

There's still a chance for tomorrow, but I wouldn't bet on it...

OK, quick recap:

Wed. night had me coughing up a lung most of the night.  Took the day off of work Thursday to catch up on sleep, and while I'm doing somewhat better, I just can't seem to get that last little bit of crud out of my system.

I'm a bit concerned about a stuffed-up left ear.  It's going on several weeks now, and while I get the odd popping & partial drainage, it's not clearing up.  I need a Roto-Rooter.  Or a Ceti Alpha V eel...

Stopped by a Redbox for the 1st time in months.  Got a fistful of flicks, and thought I'd post some mini-reviews!

BattleShip: An extremely silly movie, and I mean that using the Python-esque meaning of silly.
That being said, the scene where all the old Navy codgers join the crew and get the Mighty Mo fired up and out to sea had me grinning.

The Avengers:  Saw this one in the theaters, and the rewatch was just as fun as the first time.  Even if you haven't kept up with all the component movies, it's worth your time.

Spiderman:  The series reboot with a new kid as the webslinger.  Just as whiny as the last kid in the role, and the monster is a CGI hot laboratory mess.   Avoid.

Prometheus:  WTF is up with this cinematic sludge?  Murky story, murky scenery, and just enough tentacles to remind you that it's a Ridley Scott film.  Can't recommend it.

And now, it's bedtime.  More later.

Wednesday, November 07, 2012


At Least It Didn't Go To SCOTUS.

Well, it still hasn't sunk in yet.  4 more years of The Chosen One...


Thankfully, there wasn't a lot of gloating at the office.  I might have had to leave someone a desk drawer full of coiled turd.

Sigh.  Guess I'll retreat into my skull for the next election cycle.

Tuesday, November 06, 2012

Well, Damn...

Election Night Angst

I was hoping for an early blowout.

This might keep going until December...


Saturday, November 03, 2012

Phlegm Factory

Icky Icky Goo!

It's always amazing to me how quickly one can transform from a (relatively) healthy individual into a wheezing, achy snotmonster.

Thursday was a normal day, as far as I could tell.  My seasonal allergies were spiking a bit, but that usually means just some sniffling and nose-wiping.

Thursday evening, however...  Deep hacking coughs, ooky-looking lung-goop and that overall feeling of parboiled death on a popsicle stick.

Friday?  More of the same, tempered with regular doses of painkillers, Mucinex and generic Claritin.
  I'm not really supposed to mix decongestants with my blood pressure meds, but needs must when the phlegm flows...

Did my usual Poker Night on Friday, though I was dragging a bit.  Came out a little behind, but still had one or two really good hands, including a really brutal beat-down on a royal flush with a set of five.  That felt good!

Today?  Mostly horizontal, with brief ventures to the kitchen & bathroom.  In fact, it's time for another nap...