tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-70731962024-03-07T08:06:21.448-06:00Baboon PiratesScribbles and Scrawls from an unrepentant swashbuckling primate.El Capitanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13166884584708996911noreply@blogger.comBlogger3159125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7073196.post-78936494575909420842018-01-08T15:21:00.001-06:002018-01-08T15:21:39.588-06:00My House Looks Like A BarnThe Ongoing Saga Of Bungalow Harvey
Flooding. What an enormous pain in the ass...
The contractors are busy tearing out just about everything inside the house down to the bare studs.
I've got no kitchen, half a functioning bathroom, one single bedroom with plastic sheeting stapled up everywhere in a vain attempt to keep the dust at bay...
The washer/dryer will still work, but I've gotta El Capitanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13166884584708996911noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7073196.post-26876327051780095622017-12-25T16:27:00.000-06:002017-12-25T16:27:25.841-06:00Merry Xmas, Ya Sonsa Beeches!Baby, It's Cold Outside!
Curling up with a big bottle of chilled Suck this Xmas.
Can't run central heat, due to lack of walls, vents and all the air movers and dehumidifiers helping to dry out the joint.
Finally got hot water turned back on, so there's that. 4 days of cold showers will Grinch up anyone's holiday. Try finding a plumber on Xmas Day! Fortunately, my El Capitanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13166884584708996911noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7073196.post-65502418245045145942017-12-14T19:37:00.002-06:002017-12-14T19:37:29.486-06:00This Is *SO* Wrong!Queefus Maximus
So, what happens when you tape a sex toy to an exhaust pipe?
El Capitanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13166884584708996911noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7073196.post-2478708879696176692017-11-29T14:16:00.000-06:002017-11-29T14:17:02.930-06:00Missing Your Puddy Tat?Blatantly Ripped Off From Facebook
FOUND A CAT!!
Cat was on my porch this morning.
Ate 3 big cans of tuna.
Was muddy from the rain, so I gave him a bath.
If you know of anyone who is missing a Tabby in NW Houston, tell them to email me.
Thanks!
El Capitanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13166884584708996911noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7073196.post-4605199868884919272017-11-21T13:59:00.002-06:002017-11-21T14:01:42.649-06:00Odds & EndsJust Coasting Through Until The Holiday
So You Have A Deviated Septum — Now What?
Well, if you're a 70's female rock star, known for gauzy dresses and twirling around on stage, you hire a personal assistant to pack cocaine into a straw and blow it up into your butthole...
******************************
I need to expand this into an essay, but regarding the genderfluid, people who identify asEl Capitanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13166884584708996911noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7073196.post-51210673734870497162017-11-16T16:00:00.000-06:002017-11-16T16:00:03.501-06:00Just Throwing This Out There...Sure Would Like To See The Clinton's '23 & Me' Results!
There's a persistent rumor that Slick Willie has been shooting blanks all this time.
Given the number of Bimbo Eruptions that somehow never resulted in 9 month abdominal eruptions, this is a distinct possibility.
The world may never know...
El Capitanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13166884584708996911noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7073196.post-79260853726363771162017-11-07T09:48:00.002-06:002017-11-07T09:48:31.895-06:00A Palate CleanserYou Spoke, We Listened!
OK, 3 weeks of Lena was a bit much...
El Capitanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13166884584708996911noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7073196.post-2260264904261944222017-10-16T12:04:00.003-05:002017-10-16T12:05:48.491-05:00Halloween Is A Scary Time!Hide Yo' Wives! Hide Yo' Kids!
To repeat a quote from 'Ghostbusters' (The GOOD one, the original...):
"I'm terrified beyond the capacity for rational thought!"
Try not to retch in the back of your throat, y'all.
This is NOT a man.
This is the darling of the Left, Lena "The Hyena" Dunham.
The expression of the guy sitting on the brownstone stoop is priceless...
(Click pic to El Capitanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13166884584708996911noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7073196.post-64158962753409821362017-10-02T15:01:00.000-05:002017-10-02T15:01:11.031-05:00The Smell Of Death Surrounds You...Toto, We Ain't In Kansas Anymore!
Cheez & Rice, but it smells like the inside of a cholera ward bedpan in the office today...
Someone's been cooking something foul. And they ain't from around here.
I am not opposed to foreign vittles. Far from it. With a few exceptions, I'm OK with just about everything the world can offer me on a plate.
OTOH, there's a few flavor El Capitanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13166884584708996911noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7073196.post-86095014396793098792017-09-21T15:31:00.001-05:002017-09-21T15:31:22.313-05:00What I've Been Up To Lately
More Excitement Than I Really Wanted...
OK, been absent for a *really* long time. I am 100% to blame for the lack of posting from July up to Aug. 25th. After that, I blame Harvey.
Here's the chronological log from FaceBlog:
August 25 at 2:47pm ·
Well, I'm woefully unprepared for Harvey's arrival. Genny hasn't been started in 3-4 years. El Capitanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13166884584708996911noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7073196.post-5536218036405611532017-07-28T17:46:00.000-05:002017-07-28T17:46:21.168-05:00New Retirement PlanIt's A Growth Industry
My friend Jenni posted this cartoon on the Book of Face this afternoon.
Friends help you move. Best Friends help you move bodies!
It got me thinking about a way to finance my retirement.
I think I'll open up a campground.
Remember the old KOA camps that were all over the place? Mine will be kind of like that, only with much fewer amenities.
I'm El Capitanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13166884584708996911noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7073196.post-12325835339540430052017-07-10T13:02:00.001-05:002017-07-10T13:02:57.318-05:00Desperation HydrationI Need To Go Shopping
When you hole up like a hermit for the weekend, there will be consequences...
The ice machine in the fridge has been on the fritz for some time. I usually get a bag of ice every week or so just to make sure there's a supply on hand.
Ditto for soft drinks. Don't keep a lot on hand, just a six pack or so, maybe a bottle or two of spring water.
Got El Capitanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13166884584708996911noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7073196.post-51326168521014020792017-06-27T14:25:00.000-05:002017-06-27T14:25:24.136-05:00Other Than That, El Cap, How Are Ya?The Whole Truth & Nothing But The Truth
Not that it's an excuse for my poor excuse at blogging, but my Mom died.
The downhill slide started sometime last year. Her health had been spotty for a few years, but it seemed nothing that regular medical care and medications couldn't handle.
Until they couldn't.
Beginning last fall, she started getting into a vicious cycle of treating one El Capitanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13166884584708996911noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7073196.post-62533262029971790052017-06-14T14:47:00.000-05:002017-06-14T14:47:13.553-05:00Time To Eat The PigFaceBook Strikes Again
OK, a long time back on the Book of Face, I saw this cute story about how two guys up in Canuckistan had adopted/rescued a "miniature" pig, and discovered all too quickly that it was just a random farm pig that was destined to grow into a barrel-sized porker.
Anyway, I hit "Like" on their page, 'cause the piggy was cute, and from then on I got regular updates inEl Capitanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13166884584708996911noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7073196.post-1761024117498520612017-05-28T05:28:00.002-05:002017-05-28T05:31:05.045-05:00Retail SavagerySome MBA Is To Blame For This...
There's all kinds of tricks store managers use to grab your wallet and shake it silly.
There's putting the milk, eggs & bread at the far side of the store, forcing you to walk past most everything else just to get what you need. They put the pricy items at eye-level, and hide the bargains on upper or lower shelves. Endcaps are stocked with El Capitanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13166884584708996911noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7073196.post-13530784255135339352017-05-24T00:38:00.000-05:002017-05-24T00:38:03.617-05:00Ice Cream Machine's Broken Again...Life's Harsh. Buy A Helmet.
Not being a regular at the Golden Arches, I became aware via the Interwebs that Mickey D's has a bit of an issue with their ice cream.
Seems that instead of going through the daily hassle of cleaning/servicing/refilling the soft-serve machine, it's much easier for the $15-an-hour-seeking drones to just claim "Duh Mosheen Be Broke" and avoid the work.
Funny that I'd El Capitanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13166884584708996911noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7073196.post-44722417788941450102017-05-23T11:55:00.002-05:002017-05-23T11:55:56.747-05:00Another Asploding Asshole - Manchester EditionWas The ID Of The Bomber Ever Really In Doubt?
El Capitanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13166884584708996911noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7073196.post-7184193805464286212017-04-25T15:10:00.001-05:002017-04-25T15:10:19.443-05:00More Random AmusementsStill Trying To Pretend This Blog Is Alive...
El Capitanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13166884584708996911noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7073196.post-63754902306903335902017-04-03T15:29:00.000-05:002017-04-03T15:30:28.376-05:00What's Good For The Gander...Suck It Up, Mother Goose!
I looked it up on Google. It's for real. Bloody Hell...
(Click Pic To Embiggenate!)
El Capitanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13166884584708996911noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7073196.post-79521418029154832552017-03-21T14:20:00.000-05:002017-03-21T14:20:43.661-05:00To Spank Is Human...To Forgive, Divine.
Gotta rant for a bit.
One of my college friends posted a Spank The Kids/Don't Spank The Kids question on the Book of Face. Got a pretty even mix of answers.
Full Disclosure: I don't have kids, don't plan to, but my answer was a definite "Beat 'em like a rented mule!"
My ass got wore out more than a few times, but very rarely for the same offense. &El Capitanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13166884584708996911noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7073196.post-22126365723386689402017-03-10T13:58:00.001-06:002017-03-10T13:58:19.152-06:00Nike Is Greek, Not Arabic...ZOMG! An Actual Post!!
Saw this elsewhere on the web. I know it's got some folks all discombobulated...
I don't have a beef with Nike over their peddling of a "sports burqa". They're in the sports-gear selling business, and if there's a demand for this sort of thing, more power to 'em for being the supply.
Can't say I'm a big fan of the idea of the burqa, but I don't think El Capitanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13166884584708996911noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7073196.post-41708224789555772682017-03-03T00:20:00.000-06:002017-03-03T00:20:25.344-06:00Just for Heath J'Cause Too Much Maddow Is Bad For the Soul...
El Capitanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13166884584708996911noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7073196.post-59030612370815999882017-01-24T00:51:00.000-06:002017-01-24T00:51:03.672-06:00Doubling DownMight As Well Be Hung For A Sheep As For A Lamb
Another Tidbit:
Well, that leaves Maddow out of the cooter law biz...El Capitanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13166884584708996911noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7073196.post-73614829694763645032017-01-21T16:36:00.000-06:002017-01-21T16:36:00.630-06:00I Just Can't Help Myself...This Is Why I'm Single.
Saw the news about half a million women marching in Washington D.C.
Unbidden, from the Stygian depths of my toxic masculine brain, a thought burbled to the surface:
"Boy, they could make a shitload of sandwiches!"El Capitanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13166884584708996911noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7073196.post-10613757531763572782017-01-03T13:03:00.000-06:002017-01-03T13:03:33.137-06:00I Rant, Therefore I AmSome Things Just Have To Be Said
To: All the food purveyors worldwide
Subject: Jalapeño peppers
You are all being put on notice!
If you choose to add peppers to your breakfast menu offerings, please have the got-dam common courtesy to do it in an acceptable manner.
Look, you're already throwing eggs, bacon and onions on the grill. It would take no extra time to quickly slice a fresh El Capitanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13166884584708996911noreply@blogger.com1