Baboon Pirates

Scribbles and Scrawls from an unrepentant swashbuckling primate.

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Location: Texas, United States

Friday, March 04, 2005

Office Thieves

Y'know, if you're going to practice larceny, fer goshsakes make it worth your while! Go hit a drug deal and make off with half a mil in unmarked bills. Take down a casino. Die in a hail of gunfire. Whatever.

Do NOT, however, make my life difficult by taking $20 from one of my co-workers! Not only is it bush-league, it's a royal pain in the ass for the rest of us. Grrrrr...

I just got this email from the Division director stating... well, let me just quote.
This afternoon, $20 was taken from the desk of one of our co-workers. I am providing the person who took this money with the opportunity to return the $20, in an envelope, under my door by 5:00 today - no questions asked. If I don't receive anything today, a police report will be filed, and an investigation launched.
Heh. Yeah, right. Like anyone's gonna go anywhere near her door today. She should have asked for it to be dropped in an interoffice mail envelope, so someone could go to another floor and pay their penance. As it is, we're gonna have to waste time talking to a cop, and the person will probably never get caught, anyway.

How fucking stupid is it to lose your job over $20? I mean, 10 or 20 thousand I could understand. You could at least eat & pay rent until you could move elsewhere and change your identity.

This happened once before, the 2nd week I was here. Someone lifted a somewhat larger sum of money from an unguarded purse. All I could think about was how happy I was that I had been attending an offsite orientation session all day, and was covered in terms of an alibi. It would seem natural to blame the new guy, after all.

Well, with umpteen interns and temps running around, I'm not too surprised. Sooner or later, you're gonna get an asshole stirred into the muffin mix.

I'd like to find out who this is. I'll introduce them to my favorite behaviour modification tool, a billiard ball wrapped in a bar towel. A few licks with that, and they generally see the error of their ways! Schmucks.