Baboon Pirates

Scribbles and Scrawls from an unrepentant swashbuckling primate.

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Location: Texas, United States

Wednesday, May 17, 2006

Off The Reservation

For A Couple Of Days, Anyway...

I'm gonna be stuck in this conference for one more day. 8 more hours of fun and games paid for by YOUR taxpayer dollars. We're accomplishing very little that I can see, other than making some folks feel better about themselves by providing the illusion that forward progress is being made.

I won't go into specifics, but in a nutshell, there's representatives from various gummint entities and alphabet agencies from around the state working as a focus group for Policy Group "A", that's in turn contracted by Policy Group "B" to produce an advisory report for Federal Policy Board "C", and said report, involving commentary from 14 cities across the US, will be duly submitted, copied in triplicate, foldled, spindled and mutilated, before being filed away in that gigantimous warehouse shown at the end of 'Raiders Of The Lost Ark'.

"Best" moments so far:

1) The decision that discrimination and ill will towards (Insert maligned socio-ethnic group here) will be completely alleviated through strategic performances of semi-professional stageplays written/produced/directed/performed by (Insert another maligned socio-ethnic group here), bringing us all closer together in an explosion of puppies and rainbows.

2) The phrase (uttered in a small group session by a fiery yet completely immature advocate) "so, I asked his girlfriend if he needed help holding his cock while going to the bathroom..." Words fail me. I'm trying to hang on to the last shreds of my professionalism here, and this woman's griping about getting turned down for a threesome.

3) The raging debate over how to enact special legislation to protect (Insert maligned socio-ethnic group here) without admitting that such legislation will conflict with existing legislation enacted across a span of 20 years to protect (Insert several maligned socio-ethnic groups here).

Sigh. I've got to get back in the private sector. Rape the environment, oppress the proletariat, make a profit. What could be easier?