Baboon Pirates

Scribbles and Scrawls from an unrepentant swashbuckling primate.

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Location: Texas, United States

Monday, June 02, 2008

What A Weird Weekend.

No, Sir! I Didn't Like It!

Well, there's no better way to start off a weekend than to open your mail and discover you've received your AARP membership card. A decade early...

Add to that my auto insurance company sent me a notice that they'd lost my renewal documents yet again... Oddly enough, they never seem to misplace a single premium check. Weird how that works.

Rockhauler, an occasional blogger and my partner in deviltry and deviousness let a hacking cough get away from him and almost pulled a Jim Henson on us. He went into the hospital with double pneumonia, and has been hooked up to various tubes and needle-y things as well as The Machine That Goes 'PING'. He's doing much better now, and after they drained multiple liters of fluid off his lungs, his condition improved, and he's making a pile of cash selling pink phlegmonade down in the ER waiting room.

So, if you get a suspected infection, go get it looked at! If you're too far above going to the County clinic and waiting for hours amongst the Great Unwashed, at least go by Petco and buy $20 worth of fish antibiotics. (AKA the Penniless Chemistry Grad Student Health Plan) It might just save your life.

I went to the used bookstore to feed my fiction jones. As I perched on the chair next to the rack of Recent Arrivals deeply engrossed in book browsing, I realized some person was attempting to communicate with me. Reluctantly surfacing back into reality, I cognizant of the fact that it was a female-type person doing the communicating, and she was wanting to know how I liked a certain SFnal series, as I was holding one volume of the series in my basket.

Now, advancing years have increased my general curmudgeonhood, and I felt a small wave of annoyance at being interrupted. As it stands, though, I've got enough social skills left that I can still communicate with strangers without being a complete A-hole. I managed to convey my general approval of the series, though I have misgivings about the author's politics.

This lead to a general exploration of the various SF alternate history series, as she sounded me out on my reading list and sidetracked into movies, politics, etc. It gradually occured to me that more was taking place here than just a discussion on books. By gum, this gal was flirting!

If I seemed a bit slow on the uptake, you have to realize that the frequency of actual females putting the flirt on towards me is only exceeded by the frequency of Hillary Rodent Clinton offering to fellate Bill without alcohol, Rohypnol or a lost wager being involved.

Truth be told, she looked a lot like me, only with stringy blond hair and minus the mustache and goatee and a foot in altitude. At this point in life, I'm open to just about any female, regardless of diameter, but there was no future in this one. I was intrigued by her Sanskrit tattoos and her obvious SF geekery, but the twin repelling factors of green mossy teeth and overpowering aroma of Eau de Benson & Hedges just didn't work for me.

Oh, well. There's always internet p()rn...