Baboon Pirates

Scribbles and Scrawls from an unrepentant swashbuckling primate.

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Location: Texas, United States

Thursday, August 21, 2008

Tactical Tommy Strikes Again

This Must Be What Tam Calls A "Blastomatic"

I've groused before about the idiotic things that gunmakers and those who sell related shooting paraphernalia do to make their products "tactical".

You can't hardly buy a base-level shotgun anymore without there being a "breaching muzzle" glued on the end of the barrel. I never knew there was such a need to be blasting out door hinges and locks. We managed just fine the last century and a half with nothing more than a choke tube out at the business end of a scattergun. Hell, as far as I'm concerned, going from paper to plastic hulls was the last really innovative & necessary step taken in shotgun technology. OK, maybe ghost ring sights, too...

So, WTF is that stupid thing out on the end of a new Mossberg 500? Looks like it came off a flamethrower...

That wasn't sufficiently tactical, either. They went and put a Picatinny rail on the underside so you could mount your FusionGlow 5000 Tactical Illuminating Device, and still leave room for the collapsible bipod.

Why would you want a bipod on a shotgun? C'mon, dude! It's Tacticool! And if you don't know why you need one, you're obviously not one of The Only Ones Qualified to carry such hardware.

Now, let's talk about that asinine strip of nylon bolted to the fore end. You know why that's there? 'Cause too many Mall Ninjas were pumping their shotguns like they were jerkin' their gherkin, and having the shotgun slip out of their grasp and blow holes in their basement ceilings. Aside from being blasphemous to Ceiling Cat, it annoys the neighbors.

Seriously, the nonadjustable strap is too loose for a good snug fit around your hand, and too small to use as a carry device. Absolutely effin' useless, just like that charcoal briquet starter they've bolted to the muzzle.

Just say NO to tacticool, folks. It's perfectly acceptable to be a shooting enthusiast and not aspire to be like the Alphabet Agency's jack Danner-booted thugs.