Baboon Pirates

Scribbles and Scrawls from an unrepentant swashbuckling primate.

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Location: Texas, United States

Friday, May 22, 2009

Mini Movie Reviews

Like Real Movie Reviews, Only Smaller!

For some reason, I felt the pull of the video rental store last Sunday evening, and stopped in to rent a few flix. It's probably been a couple of months since I was last in there, and they've STILL got Sin City in the New Releases section...

OK, here we go...

#1 'Quantum of Solace': I didn't see this one when it came out in the theaters. The new Bond, Daniel Craig, was OK in 'Casino Royale', but there's something about the tone of these new Bond films that just doesn't sit well. It's probably the overwhelming paranoia of British Intelligence. It can't give you the warm fuzzies about your employers when every other minute, they're convinced you've been turned, and therefore must die. Have a little faith, M-baby! Have a little faith!

Not a bad movie, but the main baddie was a bit of a pantywaist, and shouldn't have been able to give Bond that much of a fight. Hot babes, fast cars, lots of guns. The fight in the belltower was a lot of fun to watch. Typical Bond film!

#2 - 'Miracle at St. Anna': Spike Lee will never be accused of being too subtle... This film is about a squad of black soldiers separated from their unit in Northern Italy in the last days of WWII. It's a bit of a character study, a bit of a war film, and a bit of a murder mystery. I enjoyed it, but I'll warn you going in that the main Nazi baddie is VERY VERY EVIL! The redneck Army captain is VERY VERY RACIST! The Army General is VERY VERY RACIST TOO! See, we know this, 'cause the characters are almost caricatures of themselves. Spike likes to hit you with the Message Hammer so you'll get the point he's driving at...

Good battle scenes, great characters, and an unexpected but very welcome inclusion of large nekkid Italian breasts.

#3 - 'Righteous Kill': Cop film starring Robert De Niro and Al Pacino. It's fun to watch these two ham it up with each other, but the Pacino character is too close to the one he played in 'Heat', and the De Niro character? It's De Niro playing De Niro.

It was fun watching them beat up Fiddy Cent, or whatever his name is. The plot? Oh, please. Paper thin. Anyone who reads mysteries has this thing figured out before the opening credits finish.

#4 - 'Underworld 3 - Rise of the Lycans': This makes the second movie starring Rhona Mitra I've seen where she ends up chained up and not wearing a lot of clothing. You know, I'm kinda OK with that! Maybe it's a latent bondage thing. I dunno. Maybe if she'd gotten mostly nekkid and chained up a few times on 'Boston Legal', she'd still be on that show...

Lots of silly vampire/werewolf fun with Bill Nighy as the HVMFIC, and Michael Sheen as the wolfyboy Lucian, and of course, Rhona Mitra as the Kingsford Charcoal Briquette. I kept waiting for Nighy's character to say "Now let's go get pissed and watch porn!" a la Billy Mack after he combusted his offspring, but alas, that didn't happen.

I'm El Capitan, and the balcony is now closed...