Baboon Pirates

Scribbles and Scrawls from an unrepentant swashbuckling primate.

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Location: Texas, United States

Friday, June 26, 2009

"In The Jailhouse Now..."

Adventures In The Greybar Hotel

I spent a good chunk of the day Thursday over at the Harris County Jail, aka Houston's 24-Hour Scumbag Storage Facility.

I was an invited guest, not an inmate. Well, I suppose upon reflection they're all invited guests too... In my case, though, I was free to leave on my own volition.

I was consulting on the addition of some specialized communications equipment that's getting installed in some of the prisoner "pods". 4 or 5 cellblocks are connected to a central dayroom, and the whole thing is called a "pod".

I have to say, the administration side of the facility is a pleasant and comfortable place. The side with the steel bars and wire-reinforced safety glass? Not so much...

Dealing with the public on my side of The Man's realm can be aggravating, but it's a cakewalk when compared to the shenanigans that the County folks have to deal with. I have to say, in 5 years of playing with The Man's equipment, never have I had to consider if it was urine, feces and vomit-resistant technology.

In addition to excreting bodily fluids on the equipment, the inmates also like to break things. You learn that the term "shatter-resistant" means "takes 5 hits to break instead of 2", and that a armored steel cable (like on a payphone handset) will snap like soggy spaghetti when a amped-up methhead goes to work on it.

There's a small city going in and out those bars on a daily basis. You can check out this link for the list of those arrested in the previous 24 hour period. I had no idea there that many knuckleheads on the loose. A bunch seem to be arrested for multiple traffic tickets and failure to appear in court.

Living a law-abiding life might not be the most exciting thing in the world, but it beats the hell out of crapping in a steel terlit in front of an audience, wearing an orange jumpsuit and laceless Keds, and eating green baloney sandwiches twice a day.
Pay those outstanding tickets, folks... The thug life seems WAY overrated.