Baboon Pirates

Scribbles and Scrawls from an unrepentant swashbuckling primate.

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Location: Texas, United States

Wednesday, September 10, 2014

Cocktails Of Questionable Taste

De Gustibus Non Disputandem!

Y'know, the older I get, the simpler I prefer things to be.  Sure, a steak can be pretty good with a huge gloppy pile of grilled 'shrooms & onions mixed up with a creamy sauce dumped on top, but is it really preferable to one simply sprinkled with salt & pepper and expertly grilled?

Same deal with the alcoholic beverages.  These days, I don't much care for the frou-frou cocktails, with half a dozen rare liqueurs added in a particular order, after the glass has been greased with the rind of obscure tropical citrus fruits.

Nope, a slug of quality bourbon with a splash of spring water suits me fine.  A good domestic pilsner or bock is preferable in my advancing years to some exceedingly hoppy IPA or some Belch wheat beer brewed with essence of kumquat by some obscure sect of left-handed monks.

It was not always so.

Once upon a time, I really, really liked my liquor sweet & strong, and the preferred trio was as follows.

Each one starts with a highball glass filled with ice.  Then, the fun begins.

BRAVE BULL - Equal parts Kahlua and gold tequila.   After 6-8 of these, remember to lean WAY forward so you don't get puke on your shoes when you dial up Ralph on the big white phone.

THE GODFATHER - Equal parts Amaretto di Saronno liqueur and a fairly robust single malt Scotch, the peatier, the better.  You'll be speaking like Marlon Brando impersonating Sean Connery in no time.

RUSTY NAIL - Equal parts Drambuie liqueur and scotch whiskey.   Best to lock up the claymores and bagpipes before consuming these in any quantity.

There's been a few honey/bourbon based offerings from the usual suspects in the past few years.  These are all variations on the basic sweet/strong theme.  I'd imagine you could mix one with a straight shot of 100+ proof bourbon and have the beginnings of a new and more dangerous cocktail than those already listed.