Baboon Pirates

Scribbles and Scrawls from an unrepentant swashbuckling primate.

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Location: Texas, United States

Tuesday, June 09, 2015

No House, No How

Money? In Short Supply For The Next 30 Years

Man, this home buying shit is for tha boids....

I had been led to believe the worst part of all this was the final day of closing the sale, with hours of paperwork and the cutting of huge checks to the lenders.

Nope, it's the slow drip of your bodily humors going to satisfy the armies of leeches that attach themselves to the purchase process.  Each one standing in the way of progress with yet another mandatory fee or bill for service.

"Enjoy your new home" now translates in my ears as "Fuck you, PAY ME!!"

It cost me $150 to get the utilities turned on just long enough to get the home inspection done (another $385).

Now, due to the recent huge rainstorms and floods, the area was declared a disaster area.  This triggers a requirement to do a final inspection by the lender to make sure they're not lending money on a damaged house.  Guess who has to pony up another $150 for the utility fee.

Currently, we're going in circles with the insurance agencies over flood insurance.  Latest quote for an annual policy?  $2564, paid up front.  That's in addition to the regular homeowner's policy of $2116, which at least can be rolled into escrow.

Hmmmph.  I may have to rename my abode from Castle Anthrax to Casa Fuck you, PAY ME!!