Baboon Pirates

Scribbles and Scrawls from an unrepentant swashbuckling primate.

My Photo
Location: Texas, United States

Wednesday, August 05, 2009

The Day From Hell

Nobody Deserves This Kind Of Crap...

I've said it before, and I'll say it again. I must have been one hard-boiled kitten-stomping double-dealin' Skid Row Mofo in a past life, 'cause karma spent all day yesterday putting its boot up my ass.

First stop yesterday a.m. was over at one of The Man's facilities south of town to dispense some pearls of wisdom to a hall full of bureaucrats. The class liaison lackey swore up and down there'd be less than 30 in attendance. Knowing him to be a prevaricating slug, I schlepped in 35 training manuals just in case they tried to pack the class. 5 minutes before class started, the Director of that department swooped in with entourage in tow, bringing the total to 47, leaving many without a manual. So, right off the bat I'm looking like an incompetent boob. Naturally, the lackey is nowhere to be found.

About halfway through the class, it becomes clear that this Director has no compunctions at all about taking the reins from time to time, just jumping in whenever the mood strikes. The class stretches almost an hour longer than it needs to. I contemplate adding a Taser, ball-gag and hoodwink to my class supplies...

Back at the office, my right knee decides it is time to stage a revolt. I can't blame it, I've been abusing my knees for many years now. Still, I do need to limp about and operate foot pedals in the truck to get home, and OTC medications just aren't touching this pain.

While driving home, gritting my teeth every time I move my right leg, I hit a bump on Post Oak, and am rewarded by a loud metallic *CLANK* and a sudden increase in exhaust noise. Something has worn through, burned through, or fallen loose, and now I'm bypassing at least one muffler. Well, an exhaust bypass is cheaper than glasspacks, I suppose, but it's gonna piss off the neighbors... Sigh. Another $200 at least, probably $400 to fix this latest eff-up.

I get short-changed at Sonic, where they insist that a 12 oz milkshake is a "Large". When Whataburger has a 44 oz Large milkshake, and even Mickey D's has a relatively tasty 32 oz Large milkshake, Sonic needs to get their shit together ASAP.

Another teeth-gritting ride to the house, and I'm safe... Well, safe except for the lawn crew that failed to show up. The grass is deep enough to hide a yak, and the neighbor giving me the evil eye as he edges his putting-green yard doesn't help matters any.

I bypass the pile of cat puke in the hallway. It actually cleans up easier once it dries out a little, and there's always the off chance the other cat will find it a tasty treat.

I settle in front of the computer, pull out my Sonic burger & tater tots, and cue up 'The Pink Panther' on the DVD player. Some light comedy, and maybe I can relax.

Ten minutes later, the electricity gets cut off. Half the neighborhood goes dark. I contemplate drinking bourbon until I pass out.

We got power back after a couple of hours, but the damage had been done. A complete write-off for the day, and another YEA vote in the "Should El Capitan start growing weed in the garage" tally.

Hope your day was better than mine...