Baboon Pirates

Scribbles and Scrawls from an unrepentant swashbuckling primate.

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Location: Texas, United States

Thursday, February 19, 2015

Still Alive!

"He's dim, Jed!"

Searching for a home will certainly suck the life outta you, though...

Putting down my first official offer this weekend.  Kinda scared they won't accept it.

Hell, I'm kinda scared they WILL accept it...

"Welcome to Mortgage Hell, son!  You've been sentenced to 30 years, and that's WITH good behavior!!"


Here's a funny:

Wednesday, February 04, 2015

Temper, Temper...

Warranties Cheerfully Voided For No Extra Fee!

Had a bit of a Hagrid moment this evening.

"Shouldn't have done that...  Should NOT have done that!!"

Came home after a 10 hour day capped off with multiple drive-bys of possible home sites in obscure regions of NW Houston.

I was greeted by the incessant peeping of a battery-starved carbon monoxide detector.  I had a spare 9v battery handy, but what I lacked was the obscure bit to fit the screwhead sealing the battery door shut.

15 minutes of futzing accompanied by 15 high-decibel beeps, and El Capitan had all he could stand.

Four inches of high-grade Japanese steel will peel open the backside of a CO detector with very little effort.

The patient, alas, did not survive the operation.

To hell with it.  I'll just make sure I relocate somewhere that's got all-electric utilities...

Monday, February 02, 2015

Xmas Leftovers

Why Do Today What Can Be Put Off Until Tomorrow?

Now that Groundhog Day 2015 is upon us, I suppose I ought to post the last bits of Xmas 2014 that are hanging around the blogpile...

Nephew Sammy had acquired (via his father) a Stevens bolt action rifle in the diminutive yet still effective caliber of .17 HMR for use around the farm.

Sis & BIL have some good friends who retired to some acreage out in the sticks, and in addition to the usual cows, chickens and goats, they have a healthy crop of wild rabbits that Sammy can shoot, and his dog Ralph can (and does) eat.

Somehow, and I'm still unclear on this, Sammy managed to booger up the stock on his rifle, and needed a new one.

Well, that's just what Uncles and Xmas are made for!

Courtesy of Boyd's Stocks, I found one that was a drop-in model, to reduce BIL's workload, and looked pretty sharp!

It fit like a glass slipper!  Sammy seems to like it, too!

Watch out, wabbits!

Tuesday, January 27, 2015

The Big Reveal (For Real!)

No, I Don't Have Some Form Of Terminal STD...

Man, after all that buildup of the last few weeks, I wish I could reward y'all with a magnificent uber-post.

Fact is, it ain't all that dramatic.

Unless you're living it...

To put the whole thing in a nutshell, I'm being evicted from my home of the last 12 years.

Now, that may sound harsher than the situation actually warrants, but that's the way I feel, especially given the particulars. 

For a long time, this part of Houston (Spring Branch) was pretty stagnant economically.  In the past 4-5 years, though, expansion in the Energy Corridor and gentrification expanding outwards from the Inner Loop have caused property values to rocket upwards.

Landlords with houses they could hold onto and rent out for very modest rates have been finding themselves with properties worth 3-4 times what they paid just in land values.  In many cases, the houses on the land were a drawback!

So, all those little pier & beam houses in E. Spring Branch built in the 1940s & 50's, and the brick-on-slab ranchettes from the 1960's in W. Spring Branch that you could buy for $30-60k are now selling upwards of 250-300K.

All through the area, you're seeing the old frame houses being torn down and replaced by a bank of 4-5 multi-story condos, or the little brick homes on large lots being replaced by McMansions selling for just shy of a million.

In my case, the lure to cash in has outweighed sense & reason.  Well, that's my view of it...

So, I'm now in the house-hunting game, with all that entails.

More stories to come...

Thursday, January 22, 2015

Too Silly To Not Share!

Squeal Like A Pig!

OK, this made me giggle more than it should have...


Thursday, January 15, 2015

The Big Reveal

Too Soon Old, Too Late Smart...

Almost there, kiddies...

I've been hinting at major changes coming up in my foreseeable future, and I've been deliberately vague until things got closer to a tipping point.

Well, that cow done got tipped.  In other words, ain't no more hope of maintaining the status quo, so change is upon us, whether we want it or not.

For El Capitan, this is all uncharted territory.  I'm having to learn a new vocabulary and a new way of thinking.

Monday, January 12, 2015

Singing Praises!

Just When You Think I've Hit Bottom, I Keep Digging

Didja ever take such a soul-satisfying dump that you wanted to write a song about it?

Nay, not just a song, but perhaps a hymn!

Tonight I have had such an experience.   Little bastard had been turtle-heading me since 5 p.m., and it took an extreme act of will to keep things in place until I could waddle in from the driveway to the shit parlor...

I had seriously contemplated stopping at several random places known to have spacious and reasonably clean toilet facilities, but chose to gamble on reaching the house and maintaining home field advantage.

Ahhh, the relief.  Makes one want to sing!

"Joyful, joyful!  We adore thee,
Turd that exits from my ass"


“Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound,
That turdsplash in the bowl!
I crap with both my feet off the ground,
'Cause that's just how I roll!"


“Holy, holy, holy! Big Log Almighty!
Early in the morning our butt shall strain to thee!
Holy, holy, holy! Peanut-strewn and corn-y,
Turd in three pieces, blessed Trinity!”

OK, I'll quit now.  I think I hear thunder in the distance...