Baboon Pirates

Scribbles and Scrawls from an unrepentant swashbuckling primate.

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Location: Texas, United States

Friday, August 21, 2015

Random Pix

Tragically Funny?

I got nothin'.

Here's some pix:

Tuesday, August 11, 2015

The Slowest Move In Recorded History

Next Up, Moving Furniture Via Camel Caravan!

If it's Tuesday, I must be over on the North side...

Sigh.  If my finances didn't get so whackadoo after the engine blowout and the flood insurance debacle, I'd be completely moved in.

As it is, I've got a freshly cleaned carpet, a scrubbed out furnace and heat exchanger, a new set of mattresses, and a discovery that the AC compressor needs replacing.

Damn.  The hits just keep on coming.

Still can't get my BIL down to do the electrical work.  Dad says he can replace that 60A breaker that's heating up.  I'm not so sure.  It's been a few years since he's done much beyond replacing a wall switch or hanging a ceiling fan.

I may be worrying too much, but electricity coming in off the mains isn't something to fuck around with.  It'll kill you with varying degrees of speed, and it'll hurt like a mofo the whole time you're dying.

So, still to do before moving all my crap over there:

Hang curtains
Install a bunch of ground-fault interrupters
Replace about a dozen light bulbs
Fix the mess that is the main junction box
Split the gas pipe coming off the HWH to go to the dryer
Replace the gas rangetop spark lighters
Stretch the carpet in 4 rooms
Get a Molly Maid service in for a good scrub
Fix the broken hide-a-ladder in the garage
Rehang the shower door
Fix/replace the A/C compressor

And a whole bunch of other crap that can wait...

Tuesday, August 04, 2015

We Get Mail

Killing Trees For No Good Purpose

I'd forgotten precisely how much crap can get stuffed into your mailbox in the course of a week.

In addition to the usual detritus of grocery circulars, one-sheet adverts, and pizza coupons, I've been deluged with the sort of "help" a new homeowner needs.

Each day since acquiring the house, I've received at least one (and usually more) offers for some form of mortgage insurance, cable service, alarm service, or landscaping.

I'm a little shocked at how quickly I got on the new homeowner mailing list, to be honest.

Most of the stuff gets circular-filed without a glance, but there are a few that get a closer look.

There's a damnable strain of junk mail that mimics official correspondence.  Usually there's a line of VERY fine print that states the contents are an ad for services, but you need to look closely.
I got one asking to register the house as a homestead.  Had a bunch of legalese, and implied that gloom & doom would visit me if I failed to do so.

Vultures, all of 'em. 

Thursday, July 23, 2015

This, That & The Other Thing

Fun In The Suburbs Of The Great Swamp Metropolis

Wow.  Another week goes by with no blog activity.  That's starting to be the new normal...

I can't even blame Facebook, 'cause I don't post there either.

I blame the possum.

T'was a hot steamy night last weekend, and I'm sitting by the front door at something after 9 pm awaiting the pizza guy.  I'd been wrapped up in one thing or another all day long, and never made it out to get some food.

In the moving-out process, the pantry's as bare as a baby's ass, and I probably should have just gone to bed, but when hot pizza and chicken wings are but a mouse click away...

At any rate, I'm sitting there futzing on my phone when a possum wanders up to the front door like he's selling Amway.  A coon or a cat would have looked up, seen me on the other side of the glass door, and scampered off.  Not so, the phlegmatic possum.  It just sat there and... sat there.

Fearing the interaction of possum and pizza guy might result in a severe lack of pizza, I finally got up and banged on the door to shoo him off.  I got a nice toothy grin for my trouble, but it did continue its mosey down the porch to parts unknown.

Haven't seen him since.


Still no ETA on the relocation to the new digs.  There's still some electrical & plumbing issues to sort out before I feel OK being there full time.


Anybody know the cheapest place to get mattresses?  I don't anticipate having overnight guests all that often, so I'm looking for some bedding that's not a complete POS, but I can't spend $500 per guest room, either.  Any advice is appreciated!

Monday, July 13, 2015

God's Little Quarter-Acre

Fortunately, I Was Pretty Good At Geometry

Forgot what this survey cost me.

Might as well get some mileage out of it...

(Click Pic To Embiggenate)

Still Here

Tighten Your Belt, Cletus!  It's A Free Ice Cream Famine!

Yes, we're still open for business.

No, no new content just yet.

Personal life is edging out the digital existence for the time being.

Back real soon!

Wednesday, June 24, 2015

Settled Science? Someone Tell Uncle Sol...

Warm This Up, Hippie!

Seems that there's a couple of stories in the Brit papers regarding the possibility of a mini-Ice Age descending on Old Blighty in the near future.

Naturally, they're hedging their bets in the narrative, claiming that it'll have no long term effect on their sacrosanct AGW.

Feh.   Look, I'm not going to argue that we as a species are capable of influencing the global average temperature.  My point is, it just doesn't matter.

If Uncle Sol decides to get retrospective for a few years, we're gonna get colder.  If he gets a bit effusive, we're gonna toast.  That's what happens when you have a furnace composed of 99% of the Solar System's total mass only 93 million miles away.

To misquote Denis Leary, "You can have all the Glowbull Wormening you want!  You can have a big Glowbull Wormening cakewalk right through the middle of Tiananmen Square, and it won't make a lick of difference because Uncle Sol calls the shots, OK????"

When the sun runs out of hydrogen and balloons into a red giant, remind how much better off I'd have been in a Prius...

Thursday, June 18, 2015

"The Nearest Run Thing You Ever Saw In Your Life"

"Hard pounding, gentlemen. Let's see who pounds the longest."
- Arthur Wellesley, 1st Duke of Wellington

Two hundred years ago today, 200,000 men marched into a small farming valley in the United Kingdom of the Netherlands (what is now southern Belgium) from three different directions.  The fate of Europe would hinge upon the day's events.

Seeking to push through the thin coalition lines of the British, Hanoverians, Dutch & Brunswickers led by Lord Wellington, Napoleon's Grand Armee sought to advance upon Brussels and seize the capital city.

Time was of the essence, however.  Advancing on Napoleon's right was the Prussian army under Marshal Blucher.  Napoleon could (in theory) easily beat either army singly, but if the Alliance and Prussians linked up, it would be disastrous.

Napoleon was not known for losing battles, however...

Just prior to noon, the first cannons began to fire.  In the long hours that followed until the late summer sunset, thousands of soldiers would lie dead & wounded amidst the orchards and wheat fields.

Against all odds, Wellington's thin red line held against Napoleon's 80 gun Grand Battery, repeated attacks by French heavy cavalry, and finally, the attack of Napoleon's Imperial Guard.

With the late afternoon arrival of the Prussians, Napoleon had lost his gamble.  His army melted away back towards France, and his time as l'Empereur was finis.