Baboon Pirates

Scribbles and Scrawls from an unrepentant swashbuckling primate.

My Photo
Location: Texas, United States

Tuesday, January 24, 2017

Doubling Down

Might As Well Be Hung For A Sheep As For A Lamb

Another Tidbit:

Well, that leaves Maddow out of the cooter law biz...

Saturday, January 21, 2017

I Just Can't Help Myself...

This Is Why I'm Single.

Saw the news about half a million women marching in Washington D.C.

Unbidden, from the Stygian depths of my toxic masculine brain, a thought burbled to the surface:

"Boy, they could make a shitload of sandwiches!"

Tuesday, January 03, 2017

I Rant, Therefore I Am

Some Things Just Have To Be Said

To:  All the food purveyors worldwide
Subject: Jalapeño peppers

You are all being put on notice!

If you choose to add peppers to your breakfast menu offerings, please have the got-dam common courtesy to do it in an acceptable manner.

Look, you're already throwing eggs, bacon and onions on the grill.  It would take no extra time to quickly slice a fresh pepper and toss it in with the onions and hash browns.

Fresh peppers are cheap, and have a reasonable shelf life.

Instead, you rat bastards *always* crack open a can of pickled jalapeños, and splash vinegar and wilted gummy slices all over my food.

Do you put slices of dill pickles on your eggs and omelets?  Do you stuff a kosher garlic spear into your breakfast taco?

No, you got-dam well do not!!

So why do you put fucking pickled peppers in your food???

Fresh peppers or Death!

I have spoken...

Wednesday, December 14, 2016

The Douche Flute

Xmas Gifts: A Hit-Or-Miss Affair

Beware strangers bearing gifts.

Especially beware friends bearing gifts...

Recently, I asked a buddy of mine some questions regarding his vaping habit.  For those of you residing under rocks & logs, vaping is a smoking alternative where you use an electronic gizmo to vaporize a fluid mix and inhale the resulting vapor into your lungs.

Somehow, aforementioned buddy got the idea that I was looking to join the ranks of the Vape Apes.

Knowing my penchant for cigars, he acquired some vaping fluid (e-juice) with a supposed cigar aroma, and paired it with an entry-level vaping machine.  Looks like a long silver fountain pen with a power button and a plastic rocket nozzle mouthpiece.

For the record, it does *not* taste like a cigar.  Also, the nicotine content of the pseudo-cigar juice makes the top of my skull want to peel back.

I suppose I could try another flavor, and go nicotine-free, but I'm not really seeing the point.  I can easily go all day without needing to burn a stogie, and the appeal of sitting at my desk surreptitiously huffing Juicy Fruit-flavored fog is just not there.

Plus, vaping seems to be a hipster thing.  Hence, the "Douche Flute" reference.

Your thoughts are welcome!

Thursday, November 17, 2016

Amassed Amusement

I Got A Giggle.  Your Mileage May Vary.

Wednesday, November 09, 2016

Well, That Was Interesting...

So Glad That's Over!

Didn't see that one coming.

I'd been steeling myself for 4 years of the Hildebeest, or whenever she keeled over and cacked it, whichever came first.

Amazingly, Cheeto Benito pulled it off.

Don't like him much.  Well, that's understating it.  I think he's a giant douche.

Still, we've got a better chance of delaying the slide into Socialist Hell, with some (hopefully) decent SCOTUS appointments and some mucking out of the Federal Stables.

This won't be great, but it's better than having Cankles McPantsuit at the wheel.

Monday, November 07, 2016

Too Much 'MHI'

Vampires *Really* Suck...

Doing a re-read of Correia's Monster Hunter books before buying the most recent.

Got the urge to make something related: