Baboon Pirates

Scribbles and Scrawls from an unrepentant swashbuckling primate.

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Location: Texas, United States

Monday, October 16, 2017

Halloween Is A Scary Time!

Hide Yo' Wives!  Hide Yo' Kids!

To repeat a quote from 'Ghostbusters'  (The GOOD one, the original...):

"I'm terrified beyond the capacity for rational thought!"

Try not to retch in the back of your throat, y'all.

This is NOT a man.

This is the darling of the Left, Lena "The Hyena" Dunham.

The expression of the guy sitting on the brownstone stoop is priceless...

(Click pic to embiggenate, not that you'd want to...)

Monday, October 02, 2017

The Smell Of Death Surrounds You...

Toto, We Ain't In Kansas Anymore!

Cheez & Rice, but it smells like the inside of a cholera ward bedpan in the office today...

Someone's been cooking something foul.  And they ain't from around here.

I am not opposed to foreign vittles.  Far from it.  With a few exceptions, I'm OK with just about everything the world can offer me on a plate.

OTOH, there's a few flavor combinations that immediately trigger my gag reflex, and whatever got brought in as someone's lunch today is on the "Make Me Puke" list.

First, there's a distinct aroma of organ meat.  That earthy, dark smell of liver, or black pudding, or some other iron-rich protein.

On top of that is a peppery scent.  Not hot pepper, more like a paprika.  Kind of a East European goulash or cabbage roll kind of smell.

Topping it off is the sharp tang of vinegar.  Bleagh, a warm vinegar odor just makes me wanna hurl.

Might be a tripe soup or stew.  Hard to say.  All I know is that it's absolutely nauseating.

Y'all ever try this stuff?

Mom used to get a can or two every so often back when she needed a quick dinner.  Comes out of the can looking like this:

It's got that same vinegar tang.   It's barely edible cold.  Heat it up, and I'll run from the room for the nearest toilet.  Seriously, give that stuff a quick run through a blender, and it's indistinguishable from your run-of-the-mill pile o' puke.

Jeez, I wish I could get away with firing up a cigar...

Thursday, September 21, 2017

What I've Been Up To Lately

More Excitement Than I Really Wanted...

OK, been absent for a *really* long time.   I am 100% to blame for the lack of posting from July up to Aug. 25th.   After that, I blame Harvey.

Here's the chronological log from FaceBlog:

August 25 at 2:47pm · 
Well, I'm woefully unprepared for Harvey's arrival. Genny hasn't been started in 3-4 years. Probably a nice coat of varnish in the tank & carb. Gas can & jumbo extension cord also MIA.
My plan to acquire water via the dispenser kiosk at the local Food-o-Rama was scotched by a horde of thirsty locals surrounding the tap about 4 deep. I'll try again tonight.
Food won't be a pressing issue. I could stand to lose more than a few pounds, and if it gets to the point when I'm tempted to crack open the SPAM stash, I've got some MRE peanut butter and crackers that'll cease & desist operations of the GI tract for the duration.
Not worried. Stove and water heater run on gas. Water shall fall from the sky in biblical quantities, so if the SHTF, I can always boil water and not die of dysentery...

August 26 at 9:50pm · 
4.6 inches of rain in last 24 hours. Still got room in the bayou for another 10" before things start getting squirrelly. Retention pond out back has enough H2O to float a shrimp trawler.
Note to pizza shops: Y'all need air boats or Boston Whalers for delivery...

August 27 at 7:54pm · 
Harvey has slipped me the Big Wet Willie. House flooded, not sure about van. Water receding, but still 2-3 days of rain ahead. Have food,water, power and flush toilets, so staying in place and giving shelter space to those that need it. Using lots of Purell on my feets to keep the nasties at bay.
Stress level at Supermax. 2nd flood in 15 months, on top of Mom's passing. Ready to break my 20 year moratorium on bong rips. Fortunately I have no clue how to acquire any Devil Lettuce.
Appreciate the thoughts, likes and prayers, but if y'all could band together and send a barrel of Maker's Mark, that would help with the healing...

August 28 at 8:58pm · 
Still sheltering in place. Not pleasant, but I've lived through worse. Power on, water OK.
Dam releases are far from me. Might get more flood water from rainfall, but more worried about dealing with FEMA.
Well, if you need to declutter your life, have 10,000 gallons of H2O roll through your stuff. Twice. Glad I never got around to buying a Living Room suite...
More later. Must go curl up and whimper for a while.

August 29 at 2:30pm · 
Harvey Update: Water in neighborhood almost drained. House squishy, but power still on. Have fans blowing and clothes dryer working OT. Water heater out, so cold showers adding insult to injury. Had to unplug fridge for a while, compressor was submerged. It's running OK, but frozen vittles are a loss.
Dehydrated lasagna from Mountain House surprisingly edible. Beef Stew? Eh, not so much...

August 30 at 9:32am · 
Harvey update: If you've messaged me, I'm slowly trying to respond. Laptop soaked and WiFi dead, so just got Messenger up & running.
Not ignoring you, just being ignorant on how Facebook works on a cell phone. Swore I wouldn't put FB on my phone, but needs must when the SHTF...

August 30
Harvey Update 8/30: 
Help flew in on angel wings today! Cisco Kid and wife Consigliere came bearing gifts of Damp-Rid, wet vac, and best of all, a double cheeseburger! 
Can't thank them enough for pulling wet carpet and sorting debris. Also, water heater back in action!
MY VAN IS DRY!!! Not a drop got in as far as I can tell. Started right up, ran fine. Huge load off my stress pile.
So, a bit of good news. Not out of the woods yet, but I'm gonna be able to drive out instead of walking...

August 31 at 2:36pm · 
Harvey Update 8/31: Took hours of dialing just to leave a message with Natl. Flood Insurance Co. From an ex-call center manager perspective I'm appalled, but given that they've probably got 50K calls in queue, I understand. Just hope they call back before Xmas...

September 1 at 12:13pm · 
Harvey Update 9/1: I sure could use some help.
It kills me to ask this. I've spent most of my life trying to get by on my own, but this mess is beyond me. Like the kiddies are saying "I can't even!"
If you can spare some time & energy Sat or Sun, it would really help get a handle on this mess. I can't feed you or pay you, but I do have A/C in the house, so it's not a sauna in here.
PM, text for address & details. Thanks from the bottom of my damp soggy heart!

September 1 at 2:21pm · 
Update To The Update:
Some of y'all were asking about a Paypal account. I do have one. Don't know how the process works, but the account is:
(Bloggers, Email me at address at top of page)
Obviously, replace the parentheses with the usual symbols. That's also my email addy, but still offline. Can't reply until I swap out the dead Uverse router.

September 2 at 9:18pm · 
Harvey Update 9/2:
Wow. What a day. The debris pile on the curb is 3 feet high and stretches the width of my lot and 10 feet next door.
An amazing crew achieved the miraculous, even with me freaking out like a caffeinated gibbon.
Some heartbreaking losses among the soggy items bagged & dragged to the street. Haven't even gotten to the wet books yet.
Very odd to stand in back bedroom and see through two closets and the master bedroom into the kitchen!
More tomorrow, including credit where credit's due for the Castle Anthrax Wrecking Crew. I've got to go collapse now...

September 3 at 11:54pm · 
Harvey Update 9/3:
"Keep Calm, and Always Have Ketchup!"
Promised an update today, so here goes...
I am truly humbled to have friends that will put their life on hold, drive from all over town and spend the day doing some serious work to keep my house livable and prepped for reconstruction.
I don't know if there's some secret training camp for flood recovery and calming agitated flood victims, but this crew obviously graduated with honors!
Supplies came pouring in, from waste bags to laundry soap. Food & cold water was abundant, including awesome pizza from Pink's, kolaches and donuts (which the thrice-damned pissants found and swarmed. Guess the ants were tired of MRE's too...)
Some kind soul even brought canned goods and snacks to refill my depleted pantry!
OK, so here's the Castle Anthrax Hall of Fame crew:
Cisco Kid and wife Consigliere came out for a second day of fun & adventure. CK has been a Rock of Reason to cling to as the floodwaters keep trying to wash my sanity out to the Gulf. Consi braved the horrors of Bachelor Bathrooms and made it out alive. Daughter "Little Bit" was not so pleased, 'cause El Cap didn't have a drop of ketchup in the house for her ChikFilA nuggets. (El Cap was mortified by his dereliction and offered Sriracha, but Daddy CK said no...)
High School Bud #1, & wife and family came up from Clear Lake to help. Have not laid eyes on HSB1 in 20+ years but when I needed help, help came running. Old school ties may get slack with age, but damn if they're not resilient!
High School Bud #2, husband High School Bud #3 and eldest daughter came to help. (Slight digression: are you still not supposed to call minors by 1st name online? Or does it matter? Not a parent , but IIRC it's supposed to make it harder for creeps to lure kids)
Anyway, HSB3 was a machine, wrecking, hauling and doing what needed doing.
HSB2 was a marvel. If the USA decides to invade NKorea, put her in charge of planning & logistics! When I came close to a meltdown when it was discovered my bed had been soaking up water and had to be trashed, HSB2 said "I got this!", disappeared for a while and came back with a new mattress set. HSB2, if you ever need a kidney, I've got two...
College Bud 1 is a college friend that I need to make more effort to see, 'cause she lives right down the darn road!! She and her son were a huge help getting the damp & soggies removed.
Special thanks to Jason M. Jason is a Philadelphia firefighter who came down with a crew to help out. He spent some time today breaking walls and hauling trash. If you need 3 dozen boxes of books moved, and another dozen wet (and HEAVY!) Boxes removed, ask a buffed-out fireman. Those guys are great!
Thanks to FlyGirl for the connection.
So, my sincere thanks to all of you for your assistance! I'd be a moaning mold-covered lump by now otherwise!
More later. Must go become one with the new bed!

September 4 at 9:52pm · 
Harvey Update 9/4:
"Odds & Ends"
Some random observations regarding the recent deluge:
Bought a Lifestraw emergency water filter last year. Didn't find it until today. Hint- label your storage boxes!
The Mr. Beer home-brewing kit makes awful beer, however the fermenter keg and 24 oz bottles make dandy water storage containers.
Though I have yet to test my warhammer against its intended target (zombie skulls), I can say that it goes through drywall like s#!% through a goose.
The floor will no longer be considered the largest shelf in the house. From here out, the only permanent residents below 16" in elevation is linoleum, tile and chair legs. Don't know if anyone sells a refrigerator stand like you see with washer/dryers, but they can be made.
Be prepared to use a stepladder to get on the new furniture.
Weepholes in brickwork work both ways...
Opening your front door during the flood crest is a *really* bad idea.
Probably a good idea to anchor down your patio furniture. I'm really not sure how a cast iron chair ends up exiting the back porch and then is found sitting upright at the edge of the property line. I can only assume a passing alligator wanted to relax for a while and moved it...
OK, need to get more laundry done and get some sleep. Back to work tomorrow.

September 5 at 8:10pm · 
Muchas Gracias to everyone that donated online to the "Save El Cap" fund via PayPal.
Your generosity is overwhelming. When I was finally able to access the PayPal account at work today, I was... well, the Brits have a perfect word for my reaction. I was gobsmacked!
Please email me your snailmail addy so I can send you a proper Thank You note. I'll even include a genuine sample of damp drywall and soggy carpet pad, suitable for framing!
Seriously, thank you, thank you, THANK YOU!!
Y'all are awesome!

September 7 at 11:48pm · 
I'm regretting not going long on gypsum futures. There's gonna be a metric assload of drywall being sold all around the coast...

Friday, July 28, 2017

New Retirement Plan

It's A Growth Industry

My friend Jenni posted this cartoon on the Book of Face this afternoon.

Friends help you move.  Best Friends help you move bodies!

It got me thinking about a way to finance my retirement.

I think I'll open up a campground.

Remember the old KOA camps that were all over the place?  Mine will be kind of like that, only with much fewer amenities.

I'm going to call it the DOA Campground.

Here's how it's gonna work:

I'll buy a sizable plot of land somewhere out in East Texas, deep in the Piney Woods.

Primitive camping.  No water, no electric, not even a long-drop outhouse.

You can show up whenever you want.  No need to speak to anyone, just place an envelope with your entrance fee ($5000 per night) in the dropbox by the front gate, receive your gate key and map, then follow the map to your campsite.

The campsite is rough, just a clearing in the woods big enough to turn your car around and, if you're so inclined, pitch a tent and build a fire.

Feel the call of nature?  We'll dig you a trench.  Using a backhoe. 

It'll be 6 foot long, 6 foot deep, and 3 foot wide.  We'll park the backhoe nearby, and leave a bag of quicklime in the scoop.

Dump whatever sewage or other waste you might have in your trunk or van into the trench.

We'll leave the keys in the backhoe.  Just fill in the trench before you leave.

And there you have it!  DOA Campground!!

Monday, July 10, 2017

Desperation Hydration

I Need To Go Shopping

When you hole up like a hermit for the weekend, there will be consequences...

The ice machine in the fridge has been on the fritz for some time.  I usually get a bag of ice every week or so just to make sure there's a supply on hand.

Ditto for soft drinks.   Don't keep a lot on hand, just a six pack or so, maybe a bottle or two of spring water.

Got home Friday night, and felt like crap.  Decided to become one with the bed for much of the weekend.

Got up every few hours for the usual purposes.  Blew through all the bottled water, including the 1/3 of a gallon jug of spring water that had been rusticating in the back of the fridge since early March.

Wake up from a nap at 10 pm Sunday, and I'm absolutely parched.

Of course, there's nothing in the fridge.  No ice, no water, no soda.  Not even any beer.

Shit.  Tap water.

But wait...  there, behind the bottle of mayo!  Could it be???

Yes, it was... a lone bottle of tonic water.   The bottle of RealLime also held a full measure.

Excavating in the back of the freezer found two of those silicone ice molds that make 2" spheres of ice.  I'd filled them, and forgotten them.

I even had some Bombay Sapphire on hand.

I don't know that I'd recommend a jumbo G&T for a late-night thirst quencher, but it beats the hell out of tap water.

Just sayin'...

Tuesday, June 27, 2017

Other Than That, El Cap, How Are Ya?

The Whole Truth & Nothing But The Truth

Not that it's an excuse for my poor excuse at blogging, but my Mom died.

The downhill slide started sometime last year.  Her health had been spotty for a few years, but it seemed nothing that regular medical care and medications couldn't handle.

Until they couldn't.

Beginning last fall, she started getting into a vicious cycle of treating one issue, only to have another one react poorly to the treatment of the first.

Soon, there was a cascading set of issues, each moving her closer to the tipping point.  This past April, after many weeks of hospitalization, she'd had enough.  She wanted to go home, and spend whatever time she had left with her family.

At-home hospice care lasted only two weeks.  She passed quietly the first week of May.

For assorted reasons, including the need to gather a widespread family, we delayed the memorial service until this past weekend.   It was nice, and everyone agreed that she would have been pleased by the turnout and the event.

How am I doing?  Not too well, to be honest.  There's a big gaping hole in my life now, but I still haven't quite registered just how far the edges of the hole extend to.   I've got a big cork stuffed in my emotional exhaust port for the moment.  It leaks a bit, but mostly allows me to continue functioning.

Anyway, if you want to know more about Mom, I'm posting the eulogy I delivered at the service below.  It's been anonymized, since I still work for The Man, and The Man frowns on lèse-majesté via blogs.


I'd like to share some stories about my mother, Madre Capitan.

I'm not going to be able to comment much on Mom's early years.  I wasn't around for the first third of her life, so I'll leave that part to Dad & her cousins.

Mom was raised in SmallTown, TX, the daughter of Abuelo Capitan, the B.F. Egypt County Auditor and Abuelita Capitan, a nurse.  Mom and her brother grew up surrounded by cattle, cotton and red dirt.  There's still mostly cattle, cotton and red dirt in SmallTown, but now they've got a Dairy Queen and a Sonic.

Mom had a close relationship with her extended family, and she was the eldest of her cousins.  From all accounts she had a pretty good childhood, though she did complain bitterly when she wasn't allowed to travel to Abilene to see this new singer named Elvis.

Following graduation from SmallTown High School, Mom went to Texas Women's University in Denton for her degree, then took a teaching job in SlightlyLargerTown, where she met my father, Padre Capitan.

They married in early 1964, acquired a poodle named Jacques, & moved back to the DFW area. They did so well with the poodle they decided to give it a go with a couple of kids.

So, that's the early history.  Let me tell you a bit about Mom as I knew her:

Mom read constantly.  My own love of reading came from watching her example.  The shelves in our house weren't full of knicknacks and pictures, they were full of books!  You needed entertainment, you picked up  paper, book or magazine.  No Atari, no Nintendo, and we actually didn't bother with a color TV until I was a junior in high school.  Seemed quite the injustice at the time, but looking back, I'm glad that's how it was.

Trips to the public library were as regular as trips to the grocery store.  She was on a first-name basis with all the used book dealers, and if you ever needed something to read, there were always 2-3 big brown paper sacks full of books laying around.

She tried one of the e-readers a few years ago, but things like USB and Wi-Fi made her nervous.  She was better suited for ink on paper.

Mom was always learning new skills.   I've lost track of all the hobbies and crafts she worked on in her lifetime.  She learned how to reupholster furniture. She wove macrame plant hangers, then filled our porches with Boston ferns and philodendrons. 

There was needlepoint, cross-stitch, & latch-hook rugs.  I don't recall crochet or knitting, but it's possible.

Gardening popped up once or twice.  Entirely too much shoveling and pushing wheelbarrows for my taste, but the tomatoes were pretty good.

Mom loved the Indy 500.  She got hooked on the race during our stay up there, and for years afterward would have the May editions of the Indianapolis Star mailed to Texas so she could keep up with the time trials and qualifications.

She got interested in sailing once.  I remember the family went out to a lake in Dallas one time and climbed in this dingy old cabin cruiser.  Kind of glad nothing more came of that.  It wouldn't have ended well...

Mom once made the world's ugliest purse out of an old industrial lunchbox covered in wallpaper, with wooden thread spools underneath for feet.   

She had dozens of African violets in a homebrewed hydroponic setup that required us to have this awful purple grow light burning in the house all night for years on end.  

She got into stained glass construction, and made several beautiful stained glass panels. She'd cut the glass, solder the frames, and assemble them like a fragile puzzle.  She was really good at it, and I wish she'd made more.

Despite all her skill with handicrafts, Mom had a somewhat adversarial relationship with the kitchen & cooking.  Dad was the chef in the family.  Still, she gave it her best shot, and most times it worked out.

Most times...   

Her broiled fish recipe?  Well, best to not talk about the fish...

Her meatloaf was good, but it always sloped to one side.  Tall on one end, collapsed on the other.  Never did figure that one out...

She had several variations of "S" on a Shingle we ate quite often.  (You young'uns ask your grandparents after the service what SOS is!)

Once she acquired a recipe for bran muffins, where you mixed 6 or 8 different kinds of bran cereal together, boiled it up, then used the resulting glop to pour into muffin tins for a quick hot breakfast.  Problem was, the recipe made 2-3 gallons of muffin mix, so we were eating muffins 3x a day for weeks.  I've since learned that Aunt Okie gave Mom that recipe.  Aunt Okie, those were weeks of great regularity in the Capitan household.  You have our sincere thanks!

Mom was actually pretty good at fruit salads and desserts.  Her 24-hour salad was a regular at holiday dinners for the Capitans and Azucares, though her recipe was a bit quirky.  See, there was one maraschino cherry for the salad, and two maraschino cherries for Mom... Another maraschino cherry for the salad, and two more maraschino cherries for Mom...  She'd get done making it, and her lips would be all red!

She'd also make a special batch of 'tater salad, just for she & I to share.  We liked ours with raw onions, dill pickles and hard-boiled eggs.  So, she'd make a bland tasteless batch for Dad & Sister, and we'd get the rest.

That's what Mom did for fun...

Mom was the living embodiment of the Welcome Wagon.  I can't recall a time she ever turned anyone away who needed a couch to crash on.   Over the years, we had exchange students from Holland & Japan, countless sleepovers with our friends, and a couple of ill-advised visits where she let me board a dozen college friends for a weekend, and a bourbon-fueled bluegrass band I was a roadie for in college.
Most of y'all know Foster Sister.  Foster Sister was a classmate of mine at Spring Woods, and when Foster Sister's mother passed away while she was still in high school, Mom just reached out and pulled her into the family. She's been our "other" sister ever since, and there aren't enough words available to thank her for all the help she's given Mom over the years.

Mom's hospitality extended beyond her front door.  When the church sponsored (Random Vietnamese Names), a refugee family from Vietnam, Mom spent a lot of time helping them to settle in to their new life in Houston.  Despite her complete lack of Vietnamese, and the (Random Vietnamese Names)'s broken English, she managed to explain how to work the electric stove and other appliances we take for granted.  They prospered and did well in America, and Mom stayed in contact for many years.

And then there's Maude...     Maude was a friend-of-a-friend kind of deal.  Maude was in a nursing home, and had no close relatives.  Naturally, Mom adopted her, too.  Maude wasn't an easy person to deal with.  She could be kind of grouchy, and wasn't shy about expressing her displeasure when she'd call the house and Mom wasn't around.  Despite this, Mom befriended this lonely old woman, and helped care for her for several years until she passed away.

That's just the kind of person Mom was...

Mom could be pretty fearless when the situation called for it.  When we lived up in Indiana in the late 70s, she'd climb in our VW Beetle, and putter off to her teaching job on the north side of town, come rain, sleet or snow.  And we got a LOT of snow.

That VW had an air-cooled engine.  Guess how long it takes to get the heater working when it's 10 below?   Mom was a Texas girl.  She didn't have much use for ice & snow...

The last year we were in Indianapolis, the Teacher's Union decided to strike. 3300 teachers hit the picket lines.  Mom decided to keep teaching.  I doubt it was an ideological issue with Mom, we had a mortgage to pay and I needed my teeth straightened.

By happenstance, I was assigned to Mom's school that year, so I got to join her in that little VW crossing that picket line.   Y'know, there's some people on this Earth I got no use for, and I don't even call them the kind of names I heard Mom get called for crossing that picket line.  Still, she did it.  Day after day.

Closest I ever saw Mom come to punching someone came when one of those striking yahoos threw a brick at the VW's windshield.  Turned out to be one of those foam blocks painted to look like a brick, but we didn't know until it bounced off the glass.  I think if I hadn't been there, she'd have jumped out of that Beetle and cleaned his clock.  Kinda wish she had...

We moved back to Texas not too long after that.  Mom did some substitute work from time to time, but she never went back to full-time teaching.

Let me tell you one last story of how strong Mom could be...

Back in the mid-80's, a man named Bob Black hired a hit man to kill his wife.  The hit man did his job, they both got caught. The hitman got life in prison, but Bob Black caught the death penalty.

As it happens, Mom grew up with Bob Black in SmallTown, and she just couldn't reconcile the child she knew with the man the newspapers were describing.  A simple correspondence with Bob Black turned into a lifetime opposition to the death penalty.  And I do mean opposition.  She didn't just buy the T-shirt, she went to the marches & protests. She wrote letters.  She called her Congressman.  She volunteered for years on the KPFT Prison Radio show.

This didn't sit too well with me, to be honest.  We had some pretty heated arguments over the issue, but she stuck to her guns.

Finally, when Black's string of appeals ran out in 1992, he asked her to travel to Huntsville to witness the execution.  And she did.  Sat behind that glass window in the Death House and watched her friend die.

That's the kind of strength Mom had...

De mortuis nihil nisi bonum...

(Mom was thrilled when I chose Latin for my high school foreign language credits.)

De mortuis nihil nisi bonum.  It means "You should speak only good of the dead".

Still, to paint Mom as a flawless saint is to do her a disservice.  She was very much human, and like humanity, we all fall short of the glory of God.

Mom was a bit of a pack rat.  We moved boxes and boxes of old school papers and memorabilia and who-knows-what from Dallas to Indianapolis, back to Houston, between garage and storeroom and garage and attic in Houston, and some of it's currently filling my garage to this day.

Madre Capitan's mother Abuelita Capitan was a remarkable woman.  Skilled at whatever she put her mind to, and fiercely independent, she was a tough act to follow.  Trying to fill her shoes weighed heavily on Mom at times.

Sometimes Mom would get lost in her own Private Idaho.  We had a charity auction once at a SmallTown family reunion, and I really wanted this wooden drink stand/TV remote holder/magazine rack thing that one of my cousins had built.  So, I'm sitting up in the front row, bidding on this rack, and every time I think I've got it nailed down, the auctioneer would say "And another $5 bid in the back!"  This went on for about $30 worth of bids, and I finally turned around to see who the competition is.

There's Mom, deep in conversation with one of her cousins, and popping up a hand to bid.  I stood up and said "Mom!!  What are you doing??"   "I'm trying to win it for you!" she said.
I think I ended up paying $60 for that stand.  Just for that story, it's worth every penny.

Mom burnt a few bridges.  There are people who should be here today that are not, 'cause Mom needed to have the last word.  That's one of the most powerful lessons I learned from her.  Once said, things cannot be unsaid.  You have to live with the consequences of your actions.

As I grew older, especially after Abuelita Capitan had passed, we talked occasionally about Mom's struggles with self-confidence.  There were times she despaired about being a terrible parent.  I wish I could show her all my friends on Facebook who say exactly the same thing!

She worried a lot about appearances.  I know it bothered her that the house sometimes needed a coat of paint, and the cars were usually held together with duct tape & baling wire.

On the other hand, there was always a roof over our heads and food on the table.  She had a solid web of family to help through the rough patches.

Mom, you did a good job.  You were married to the same man, a good man, for over 50 years.

You raised your children right, despite our best efforts against it.  You got me & Sister Capitan out of the house and on to our lives free of addictions, convictions and pernicious infections.
You have nothing to be ashamed of.

You have fought the good fight. You have finished the race. You have kept the faith.

You have earned your eternal reward.

The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not want.

He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters.

He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name's sake.

Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.

Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over.

Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the LORD for ever.

Wednesday, June 14, 2017

Time To Eat The Pig

FaceBook Strikes Again

OK, a long time back on the Book of Face, I saw this cute story about how two guys up in Canuckistan had adopted/rescued a "miniature" pig, and discovered all too quickly that it was just a random farm pig that was destined to grow into a barrel-sized porker.

Anyway, I hit "Like" on their page, 'cause the piggy was cute, and from then on I got regular updates in my news feed about this pig named Esther.

Jump forward a couple of years, and they've used the fame of the pig to solicit contributions to buy a plot of ground to serve as no-kill animal sanctuary.  (They're vegetarians, naturally...)

OK, no problem with that. They wanna eat shrubbery and provide homes for critters, that's their business.

But they keep publishing pics of this enormous sow.   It's no longer cute.  It's like a furry oil drum with legs.

And it looks freakin' delicious...

Seriously, every time that damn pig pops up in my FB feed, all I can think of is:  "I want to eat that pig."

Oh, they don't have to worry.  Canada is too damn far to drive to swipe a pig.  We've got plenty down here in Texas.

Still, I can just see Esther twirling on a spit.  That'll do, pig.  That'll do...