Baboon Pirates

Scribbles and Scrawls from an unrepentant swashbuckling primate.

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Location: Texas, United States

Friday, September 18, 2015

Don't Read This

I Warned You...

When the quickest path to comfort and a return to normalcy is an ice pack applied to the goo-nads, you can be pretty damn sure your life has veered off in a direction most dare not to tread...

As age and gravity take their toll, the ability to keep all your nether bits in order via quality undergarments can't be overstated.

In today's debacle, some worn elastic, age-strained fabric and a high step into the truck cab allowed the escape of the Balzac for looser pastures.

Of course, the resulting shift behind the steering wheel and re-compression of the trouser fabric led to a ligature-like effect on the "drawstring" area of the pouch, which started out as annoying, but at the end of the commute was akin to Satan's fiery fingers cupping your 'nads.

Apparently at my age, friction + heat = swelling, making the walk into the house more of a duckwaddle.  A line of discarded clothing could be traced from the back door to the closest bathroom, whereupon a shower hose set on "Arctic" was inverted and used to good effect on the undercarriage.

A surprising degree of restraint was shown in not using the kitchen sink sprayer...

So, now the subject is horizontal, with a towel-wrapped gel icepack near to hand.  Things are returning to normal, and there's some shopping for skivvies to be done.

Tuesday, September 08, 2015

Ain't Dead Yet...

All Drama, All The Time!

Still a bit of a twitch left in the ol' carcass...

The last few weeks have been a rough patch of ground, to be sure.

Here's an example:

Had my first tire blowout in years.  I knew the Yokohama Geolandars I bought new in 2008 were getting near the end of their road life, but there's still a good 1/4 to 3/8 tread on the three survivors.
Sidewall damage is what took out #4.  I also found out that my spare tire, faithfully carried in the bed since June of 2006, will NOT fit my truck.  There are 5 lug nuts in a star pattern, but the sizing is way off.

This inability to quickly swap tires, of course, will put a sizable knot in your schedule.

When I bought the truck, there was no spare tire, and I dithered signing on the bottom line until they found me one.  The dealership flunky pitched one in the back, and it's sat there ever since.  I've never needed the damn thing...

So, where does one buy a plain ol' steel wheel for a Ford F-150?  Preferably used, and preferably where I can trade it for the one I've got?