Baboon Pirates

Scribbles and Scrawls from an unrepentant swashbuckling primate.

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Location: Texas, United States

Tuesday, May 31, 2011

Mama, Got Dem Ol' Back-To-Work Blues...

WTF Did I Do Friday Night???

I'd say it was a relaxing weekend, but that might imply that I expended some effort to relax...

I'm pretty sure I left the house at least once. Watched the Indy 500 over at the cigar lounge, but I spend so much time there, it's kinda like an extra den you can smoke in without your bathroom towels soaking up cigar funk.

A four day work-week is always a good thing, and it's payday on Friday, so I won't have to dig up change from under the truck's seat to get enough to ante in the poker game on Friday evening. I really need to work on my budgeting...

Hope you had a good weekend, y'all. I'll try to pick up the blogging pace now that I'm back on a regular schedule!

Saturday, May 28, 2011

Time Marches On...


OK, I'm ready to slow things down a bit. I'm getting old too #$%&*!ng fast!

My nephew Sammy "graduated" from kindergarten yesterday. (I'd turn this into a bitch session about the idiocy of labeling the transition from K to 1st, or middle school to high school as a 'graduation', but that's not the point of this post)

My next door neighbor's youngest child just graduated from high school. They had the whole clan over for a party. All the kids I've known since they were in diapers (save the youngest) are married with kids.

I got a Facebook friend request from a young girl I knew in college. Her kid just turned 17.

In short, I'm getting way too old, way too quick, and increasingly I feel that I'm just marching in place as the world passes me by.

Sorry, just a bit of angst bubbling to the surface.

This calls for some scotch and a vintage cigar. Both will be very old. Just like me...

Thursday, May 26, 2011

Not Quite Food P{}rn...

Odd Food Labels From Afar!

Somehow, I am not reassured by the "Pure Cow" labeling. I mean, Vishnu forbid they use an impure cow! (Ghee is clarified butter, btw...)

I'm not putting this in my mouth. Call me soupophobic if you must.

Tastes even better warm!

As I understand it, it's a case of unnecessary onomatopoeia in food labeling, i.e. the sound of the cap opening and releasing the carbonation. I still think it'll taste like crap...

There's nothing worse than eating dry monkey glands! Glad we've got some sauce!!

Oscar, you may be royalty, but your taste in fish is appalling...

Where exactly in America do we get our hot dogs in glass jars soaked in brine??

Wednesday, May 25, 2011

They're Coming For You, Jimbo!!

And They've Got Farookin' GREAT BIG TEETH!!

I thought it best not to send this to Jimbo while he was down in Florida, aka Gator Alley. It seems that a gator took a liking to a Big Fat Green Capitalist Car, and chomped down on the bumper.

Probably took a hydraulic jack to get the thing unclamped...

Well, enjoy your time down there, Jimbo! Remember to check the backseat before you put the car into gear! You never know what's lurking back there!!

(Click pic for embiggenated gator goodness!)

More Gun Fun

So Many Guns, So Little Money...

Got a spare $8000? You might want to jump on these two:

Collector's Firearms posted their latest acquisitions on their website, and they've got two items for sale that are rarer than hair on a frog with a severe case of alopecia.

First, the uber-weird GyroJet pistol. Instead of bullets, these used tiny little rockets. The Wiki says they had a 1/10 of a second burn, reaching 1250 fps. That's some kinda acceleration!

Kind of a cool idea, but not too practical for a variety of reasons, so it went the way of the dodo.

Needless to say, there's no reloading dies for this sort of ammo, so plan on this being a safe queen or a wallhanger. $1750 + TTL takes it home!

Yabu, you and Elisson ought to team up on this one!! Serious rocket fun!

Next oddity up for grabs is the ASP 9mm. A S&W 439 was run through the gunsmith shop and given see-through grip panels and modified magazines for viewing remaining ammo. The sights were replaced by a trough-like gizmo called a Guttersnipe sight, and the whole rig was tweaked for concealed carry. $6000 takes it home!

I've been going to gun dealers and gunshows since high school, and I've never seen the Gyrojet show up in any form, and only one ASP. Better cash in those savings bonds quick, these won't be there long!

Tuesday, May 24, 2011

That's Not Hair Gel...

"Barry! Rub One Out Before You Meet the PM's Wife!!"

The news had pix of the First Lady's supposedly wind-swept hair while exiting Air Force One in Dublin.

I'm not so sure that's the explanation.

Y'all ever see 'There's Something About Mary'??

Monday, May 23, 2011

Another Furlough Day...

Anyone Want A Yappy Little Dog? The Next Door Neighbors Have One I'll Happily Give Away!

Time once again for an unpaid vacation day, courtesy of The Man.

I'm hoping that these will end in the next fiscal year, but I have a feeling that this might become a permanent state of affairs.

A couple of the Nazg├╝l are making noises about a 4 day workweek. Shut down most departments on Friday, and save the operating costs & utility bills for a 3 day stretch.

Once you've seen the electricity bill for a 27 story office building, you can grasp the logic, but what they haven't addressed is whether or not we'll all go to a 4 x 10 schedule, or just be reduced to a 32 hour work week.

I can manage an unpaid day once a month. Once a week? Not without a significant increase in salary, and I'm not troubled by going on the job hunt trail to get it.

Ah, well. I'll worry about that later. Now I'm gonna go see a flick. Mom wants to see that new pirate movie, and I've volunteered to take her. Dad tends to drop off to sleep these days whenever the lights dim, so no point in him buying a ticket to take a nap.

I'll be hanging out at Cigar Towne this afternoon. Drop by, and sample a tasty stick! The new Perdomo Champagne Noir is out, and they're very nice!

Saturday, May 21, 2011


The Prime Rib Was Good, But The Filet Looked Better...

I suppose all it takes is two bloggers getting together to call it a blogmeet.

We had three bloggers last night, so we were doin' all right.

Kevin Baker of The Smallest Minority was in H-town on business, and I had the pleasure of joining him for dinner along with Uncle Kenny from Jaded Haven & Washington Rebel.

Over slabs of dead cow & assorted vegetation at Taste of Texas, we talked guns, reloading, local politics & the economics of large scale copper smelting. You know, the usual blogfodder!

Kevin's got me completely intrigued by the Boomershoot in Idaho & the Gunblogger Rendezvous in Reno, Nevada. I've been doing my large-scale blogmeets in Texas and Tennessee, but it's awfully tempting to point the Big Red Ford north by northwest!

I had a great time, and I wouldn't mind doing it again!

Muchas Gracias, Kevin & Kenny!!

Friday, May 20, 2011

Food P{}rn - The Erica Edition

Your Wish Is My Command!

Erica was longing for food p()rn of pastrami on rye and lox & bagels.

Through the magic of a Google image search, we deliver!!!

Please remember to cover your keyboard with Saran wrap to prevent damage due to drool and other bodily fluids!!

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Even More Food P{}rn!

Am I Making You Hungry??

I've got 170 MB of food p()rn wallpapers.

Hey, everyone needs a hobby...

This is the burger edition. Click pics to Super-Size!!

Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Almost There...

The Suspense Is Killing Me!!!!


30 minutes to go.

With the way my luck runs, The Man will be waiting until 10 minutes before quittin' time to drop a pink slip on my desk and wish me farewell.

Don't think it's gonna happen, but if they don't do it today, they won't do it at all.

Until next time...

At any rate, they've got me MC'ing a meeting on Thursday to hear layoff appeals, so I'm thinking that's a good sign.

I've been offered a Blackberry. My first reaction was "Who's layed-off corpse did you pull it off of?", quickly followed by "Not only no, but HELL NO!!"

I've avoided the electronic leash for almost 7 years. I can go a couple of more.

Now, if they offered me an iPhone, that might be worth it!

Sunday, May 15, 2011

More Food P{}rn!!

Sunday Night Silliness

Every so often, I wonder whether or not I ought to post some nekkid wimmens on the blog. This late in the game, it really wouldn't make much difference to my readership tally.

Ah, well. That darn conservative streak runs wider than I thought.

So, no boobies. I will offer some delectable food p()rn, though.


Pulled Pork Sammich!!


London Broil!!

Cinnamon Pecan Roll!!

Friday, May 13, 2011

Missed Me By *THAT* Much!

Still Feeding From The Man's Trough

Well, it appears I have dodged the layoff bullet. One of the High Muckity-Mucks called us in to announce that the unlucky 5 in our department had already been given their notifications and departed the premises.

I'm not going to breathe easy until after the 17th, but it looks like I'll remain employed for the time being.

That being said...

This is good:

This is better:

I need to get myself into a position where I can stop the bullets, instead of merely dodging them.

My work ethic keeps my annual review scores high, and this August will be my 7th year with The Man, so I'm likely to remain in the top tier, and out of reach of most of the Grim Reaper's culling.

Still, I'm going to push myself to add some skill sets and certifications. The Layabout Sailor suggested I go for the PHR or SPHR certs, which is a good idea. I had studied for those some years ago, but the $300 price tag seemed a bit much. Guess I'll start saving my shekels, though. A little insurance goes a long way!

Thanks for all your support while the scythe has been mowing down my co-workers. We'll get all the blood out of the carpet pretty soon, and with any luck the worm will turn, and we'll get back to full employment real soon.

Wednesday, May 11, 2011

I Knew This Would Happen...

Wanted: Intravenous Drip For Bourbon

Late night at the office, plowing through the chaos and confusion of departmental layoff plans in a vain effort to get things squared away before the 17th.

I guess it's a mixed blessing. The fact that these plans are so jacked up is not really indicative of the incompetence of the departments (though that likely plays a role), but the fact that layoffs are such a rare thing that no one knows how to do the plans properly.

Still, the entire procedure is spelled out in detail in The Man's rulebook. In short, sort into two tiers, management & peons. Manager tier get sorted by annual review score. Peon tier gets sorted into 4 levels, based on FT/PT/Temp status, hire date, & annual review score. If anyone's got irreplaceable skills, you write an exemption letter, then the person following them on the list gets the axe.

The plans submitted so far are rarely complete. Most are flawed in ways ranging from the humorous to the tragic.

Took my first really hard punch to the gut when I read a couple of names this afternoon. One of the public outreach offices of The Man is about to be cut in half, and they were swamped with work already. I've worked hand-in-glove with the people in this office since I've been with The Man, and all of them are the antithesis of the 'lazy government employee'.

Making matters worse, I've got a meeting with them Thursday afternoon, knowing that 2 out of 4 have their walking papers moving through the system.

No word yet on my department. As I said earlier, they're saving us until last...

Sunday, May 08, 2011

Happy Mother's Day!

Hope You Remembered A Card!!

To all the Moms out there...

May your day be pleasant, your kids be thoughtful, and your patience not give out until your mother-in-law disappears over the horizon!

Now I'm off to take Mom out for lunch.

Friday, May 06, 2011

Oh, Not Again...

Where's The Vertical Foregrip With Internal Folding Bipod??

Yet another example of the creeping plague that is TACTICOOL!!

This time, it's not the clamp-on rail for a side-by-side shotgun. No, this version gets a synthetic stock and an integral Picatinny rail.

Mounted on a shotgun that was high-tech in the 1870's...

OK, y'all are just getting stupid. Knock it off, already!

Thursday, May 05, 2011

May There Be No Boxes In Your Day

I Will Kill The Douchebag That Coined "Right-Sizing"

Ugly day today.

Long line of people streaming out the doors, most carrying boxes, some in tears, all are pretty PO'ed.

Three departments started issuing layoff notices this morning. With the two that started last week, that's 5 departments so far.

The big ones will come next week. I'm thinking that might be a good week to stay home...

Tuesday, May 03, 2011

A Challenge

Just Don't Wait Until Friday

Having not much else to post about today, I'll offer up a challenge...

You'll need three things... A thumb, a pair of vice grips, and a computer hooked up to the Internet.

You've got two of the three already. Go find your toolbox. I'll wait.

OK, here's the challenge.

Tighten down the vice grips so there's barely 3/8" in jaw clearance. Position the jaws over your thumb.

With the vice grips at the ready, go to the Youtube link below, hit the 'Play' button below, then close the jaws on your thumb.

See which you do first, open the vice grips, or turn off the horrible caterwauling in the video.


Monday, May 02, 2011


AlGore Strikes Again

OK, it's May 2, and it's a blustery 61 degrees and falling.

Damn, must be that global warming acting up...