Baboon Pirates

Scribbles and Scrawls from an unrepentant swashbuckling primate.

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Location: Texas, United States

Friday, July 30, 2010

Happy Birthday To ME!!!

Project LOLA Dividend #2!!

OK, as promised, here's the shiny new toy on my birthday!

I took all the money usually spent on junk food and pizzas and unhealthy crap, and put it on layaway towards my first lever-action rifle! I've got a bucketful of bolt actions, and a plethora of autoloaders, but for some reason, I've never had an old-style cowboy bullet-flinger!

It's a Rossi Hartford 1892 Model in the manly caliber of .45 Long Colt. It's got a 20" octagonal barrel, with a Marbles tang sight and a flip-up front sight. It's going to pair with my .45LC Ruger Vaquero and my 12 ga. coach gun for Cowboy Action shoots, just as soon as I can squeeze into a fancy tooled-leather gunbelt!

On that note, I stopped in at the Dr.'s office and had a weigh-in this morning. I'd been underestimating the pounds lost! Since last September, the official total of lard lost is.... 122 lbs! Yay!!

And here's my reward: (Click pics for full size!)

Serious Crapblogging!

I Have No Shame...

What better way to celebrate your birthday than to post a really horrific crapblogging game!

Yup, that's right! Due to the endless supply of filth and corruption found on the Intarwebs, I'm able to bring you the Know Your Shit Game!

Each time you squat down to download some brownware, you can rate your performance!

Keep a log! (No pun intended!) The next blogmeet, we can tally up the scores!

Have fun, and don't forget to wipe!

(Click to embiggenate!)

Wednesday, July 28, 2010

Salad: The Sequel

I Got Olives! Lotsa Olives!

OK, I made some changes. We now have Dinner Salad 2.4.7(beta)

The herb garden mix has been replaced by a spinach/red leaf lettuce/baby romaine mix. I've never been really wild about arugula, and the raw dill weed was kinda icky.

Added to the mix: a couple of spoonfuls of chopped salad olives, sliced onions, peppers and celery, some cherry tomatoes and the usual chunks of fake crab.

I tossed in half-a-handful of lowfat feta cheese. Something's wrong with the texture, though. I think I'll go with the regular feta, and just use less. I've tried the lowfat and nonfat cottage cheese, and they make me want to hurl.

I forgot to get some eggs. How long do hardboiled eggs keep, if you leave 'em in the shell inside the fridge? Anybody know?

Anyway, here it is. About 450 calories total, and bigger than your head.
Click to Embigginate!

Tuesday, July 27, 2010

Decisions, Decisions...

I'm Like A Mule Stuck Between Two Piles Of Hay!

My rifle acquisition list grows ever-lengthier as the years roll by. I try to whittle it down, but that darn lack of discretionary dollars keeps the process agonizingly slow.

The ability to put things on layaway helps immensely. I'm tempted to do that process for more than one item at a time, but given my general lack of impulse control, I would eventually end up spending the rent money on some obscure Argentinian bolt-action bullet-flinger.

My birthday is this coming Friday, and the Project LOLA dividend is about to pay off again. I've been taking the $$$ usually spent on pizzas and fast food and using it on a shiny new rifle. I'll unveil it when I get it home!

So, my question for y'all... Next up after the birthday purchase needs to be something to tickle my pre-WWII bolt-action fetish.

Should it be a:



A Sveedish Mauser?

Please vote in the comments! Thanks!

Sunday, July 25, 2010

Back Again!

Didja Miss Me??

A quick day trip out to my sister's place for my niece Gracie's 3rd birthday party.

Where to begin? No, there is too much. Let me sum up:

7 hours in car with parents

6.5 hours of Mom's awful Mystery Book-on-CD.
('Sizzling Sixteen' by Janet Evanovich, if you must know. If Dame Agatha is the Guinness Stout of mystery authors, Evanovich would rate somewhere between Coors Light and a slightly rancid summer wheat beer. Light & frothy, not much substance...)

5 hours of stressed-out sister hosting a party

4 hours of Brother-In-Law napping through most of it

3 hours of shrieking 3 year olds

2 hours of 'Top Shot' on TV waiting for party to start. (That part was OK!)

1 hour of blessed silence back at home outside with big fat cigar.

As Eric the Blade would say:


Pictures to follow sometime soon!

Sunday Funnies

This Was The First Prize Recipe!

The best part of attending a chili cookoff?

The fireworks display after dark!

Saturday, July 24, 2010

The Online Gun Show!

A Gift From John Moses Browning (Peace Be Upon Him)!

Here's the latest "MUST HAVE!!" for sale over at Collector's Firearms.

Usually, Browning Hi-Powers and I are not a good fit. The long hammer spur and my beefy hands too often meet at the moment of recoil, and result in bloody gouges known as 'hammer bite'.

Fortunately, my hands are getting slimmer, and this one's got a rounded hammer! So, if $3000 falls out of the sky this afternoon, I'll drop by and play 'Let's Make A Deal'.

Wow, what a beauty! Deep relief engraving, French Gray finish, and buffalo horn grips! The tangent sight and the slot for a shoulder stock are just the icing on the cake. I'd like to see someone take the hardware off an old beater stock, and replace the original wood with $2000 worth of Circassian walnut polished to a high gloss. It won't make the gun that much more accurate, but it sure would look nice!

(Click Pics for Tasty Closeup Goodness!)

UPDATE: There's a nice action shot of someone shooting a stocked Hi-Power over at Oleg Volk's site. Go check it out!

Friday, July 23, 2010

Ummm, No. I Don't Think So...

Methinks This Is A BAD Food Choice!

There used to be (and may still be) a Weinerschnitzel hot dog restaurant in Arlington, TX, and there's another in San Marcos, just down the road from my sister's house. Pre-LOLA, I'd swing by and sample 2 or 3 or (let's be honest, here...) half a dozen chilidogs, and every so often try out something else from the menu.

They have this thing called a Polish Sandwich, grilled kielbasa on rye with spicy mustard and pickles. Most tasty!

I seem to recall a sausage dog served with grilled onions & peppers, and the high point of the menu is the Pastrami Dog, served on a soft pretzel bun.

Alas, they're all off my current menu for the foreseeable duration.

Even if I was still eating fast food, I would NOT be eating this...

A Sea Dog? Ewww.....

Probably made from barnacles and an extra-helping of scurvy rat.

Thursday, July 22, 2010


As Usual, More F#&%ing Progress...

This photo was taken this afternoon just west of the intersection @ I-10 & Gessner, facing north.

No telling when the last time this corner was bare. Maybe the late 1950's, maybe earlier. It's all bulldozed flat, waiting for a multistory high rise to go in.

I've been trying to remember all the businesses that have come & gone from that long lot since 1982.

Kroger's (Later an Asian supermarket)
Luther's BBQ
Lotus Chinese restaurant
Cici's Pizza aka "Feces" Pizza
Cornbread's Billiards
Chili's restaurant
Spoons restaurant
Goodson's Cafe
Some Mexican restaurant
Schlotsky's sandwiches
Red Wing Shoes
Rochester Big & Tall, later a Casual Male B&T

and probably a dozen more I can't recall.

The times, they are a changin'...

Rabbit Food Redux

Roughage & Chlorophyll & Not Much Taste!

That's one big-ass salad!

Fat-free dressing, non-fat fake crab chunks buried in there, maybe 300 calories in total.

I still want a cheeseburger, though...

(Click Pic For Greeny Goodness!)

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Ewww... I Feel Slimy!

The Things I Do For Amusement...

Well, I just leaked my first story to the press. It didn't involve my employer, except in the most tangential way possible.

Long Story Short: The underdog was taking it up the wazoo, and the Powers-That-Be were too involved in the warm afterglow of their collective ass-kissing marathon to set things right.

It had to be done, but I still feel like I've rolled in fresh dogshit...

Tuesday, July 20, 2010


Click The Pics For Closeups Of Caloric Overload!!

Last weekend was fun, but not an example of healthy eating. I doubt I gained any weight, but I sure as hell didn't lose any.

In addition to the chili-cheeseburger on Friday night, I broke my bread & hot dog fast and had a sammich and a cheesedog on lunch on Saturday. One of my rules is to eat what's served when visiting others, and that's what was on the menu. No chips, no cake, and mustard instead of mayo, so it could have been worse.

Can you say yummy? I knew you could!!

Dinner Saturday night I had a 12 oz. slab of prime rib and some grilled asparagus & a small Caesar salad. I'd planned on treating myself to a steak on my birthday in a couple of weeks, but I guess I jumped the gun a bit.

I did carve most of the fat off, for what it's worth.

The real blowout came on Sunday. I met a buddy of mine at J. Gilligans in Arlington (one of my frequent college hangouts) for lunch, and feasted on their Irish Nachos. Slices of 'tater covered in cheese, tomatoes, onions, sour cream & peppers and broiled till gooey! I only got the half-order. I was afeered that a whole order would make my head asplode!

It was so good, when it came time to take a picture of the mushroom cheeseburger, I was in such rapture over the cheese overload, I couldn't manage to focus the camera...

It's been 5 years since I ate at J. Gilligan's, and will probably be another 5 until I eat there again, more's the pity!

I'm back on the regimen now. Had a salad and cottage cheese for dinner. Not bad at all, but it sure doesn't come close to a bloody slab of dead cow.

Monday, July 19, 2010

Gathering Of The Clan

Fun & Food In North Texas!

Last weekend was the biennial reunion for Dad's side of the family. He & his 3 younger brothers are the core of the family, and the "clan elders".

This year the festivities were in Fort Worth. We rotate between Houston, Austin, Oklahoma City & D/FW, letting each of the 4 brothers host the shindig.

Dad's family has been in Texas for quite a while, mostly up in the Dallas/Ft. Worth area since the late 1800's. Mom's kinfolk go back a bit further than that, and settled out north of Abilene back when you had to comb Comanches out of your beard before bedtime.

The trip up was uneventful. I'd gotten the truck in & out of the shop Friday morning, and it ran flawlessly the entire way. I had an occasion to stop & record an event on the way up, the 150,000 mile rollover on the odometer:

My buddy BooBoo would lambaste me for snapping this picture! He feels it's an anticlimactic event, paying attention to something that ultimately means nothing but more wear & tear on a depreciating asset. I'm just jazzed the truck has lasted this long!

We gathered at Kincaid's for dinner Friday night. That's a grocery-turned-burger joint that's been cranking out good eats since 1947. It's up on Camp Bowie Blvd, the old brick-paved street in north FW. I splurged on a chili-cheeseburger (No fries, though!) and though it required a couple of Rolaids an hour later, it was deeeelicious!

The next morning was a trip out to a couple of cemeteries to see some departed kinfolk. Me & my cousin Cindy joined the four brothers at the crack of dawn for the outing. It was a hoot to be tucked in a minivan with four bickering brothers! I wish I'd recorded the debate about where to go buy flowers at 8 AM!

Here's a view of the FW skyline from Oakwood Cemetery. Not a bad spot to be buried!

Lunch Saturday was hosted at my cousin Becky's church in SW Fort Worth. The hallways were filled with shrieking kids, and corralling them for the photo session was a chore.

Here's the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse and their wives:

This is me & my sister & our cousins, the "Sandwich Generation" as Becky calls us... Most of us are taking care of the generations above & below us!

Here's the crop of kids, ranging from less than 1 year up to age 19 or so. No danger of running out of family anytime soon!

We hung out all afternoon, swapping stories and doing some antique furniture horsetrading. Uncle Tom gave me a huge box of Granddad's leatherworking supplies and a pile of old half-finished leather projects. I'll wrangle a shoulder holster rig out of the mess, I suppose. Try as hard as I might, I still can't manage to fob off that old piano on anyone...

Here's my sister and her kids Sammy & Grace. I know it looks like Gracie got into Uncle Cap's bourbon, but she's just in mid-blink!

Dinner Saturday night was an experience. It can't be easy to feed all these folks at one sitting, but the Salt Grass Steakhouse near the hotel managed the feat with only one or two minor bobbles. Poor little Gracie got a bit too excited, & had a little accident and peed on the floor by the bar. I'm sure the barroom floor has seen worse...

After dinner it was more chat, dominoes & cards, and cigars & libations out on the hotel patio. It's fun to reconnect with your kinfolk and learn stories from the past as you introduce tales of your own. I'm very blessed that my kinfolk place great value in our family, and raise the kids to understand how important family ties are. Sure, we can bicker and squabble at times, but no one loses sight of our shared history and our future.

Here's my niece & nephew, all wore out!

After we parted on Sunday, I headed over to Arlington to meet a buddy for lunch, and to drop in at Uncle Bob's house to dispense some free technical support for his new laptop. He & I had more than our share of drama when I lived in Arlington during my college years, but the passing years have mellowed us both considerably!

So, a fine weekend, and one that we'll repeat in 2 more years!

Sunday, July 18, 2010

LongTruck Is Long

There's Oil In Pantego?

Saw this on Pioneer Pkwy in the tiny speedtrap town of Pantego as I was heading into Arlington this morning.

The green gizmo in the center is some sort of multi-ton oilfield machinery. It was on some sort of cantilevered dual trailer setup, with a gooseneck rig on both the front and rear set of wheels. That's the truck crossing four 11 foot traffic lanes, and it's not even halfway out in the street.

I'd bet you need something more than a standard CDL to run that rig...

(Click pic to embiggify)

I'm Back In H-Town

Family, Fun, And Way Too Much Food!

Just got back from the 1st of two family reunions this month.

Fort Worth and Arlington have changed quite a bit. Someone left a shiny new stadium parked in the middle of town. It's quite a shock to be tooling down Division St, then come over a hill and see this looming on the horizon...

I was probably a little over a mile from the stadium as the crow flies. That's one BIG building!

Thursday, July 15, 2010

Project LOLA: Day 300

The Road To Wellville?

Well, friends & neighbors, the Long Overdue Lifestyle Adjustment has reached Day 300.

The one year mark is just a couple of months off, and while I'd like to say things are getting easier, that wouldn't quite be the entire truth.

The physical side of things is going all right. My blood pressure is still down at a reasonable level, as are the daily blood glucose and A1C levels. The edema in my legs has almost completely disappeared, but my calves look like a war zone. Years of excess fluid & shitty circulation have left some fairly hideous varicose veins and skin discoloration. Combine a bad sunburn, hives and a case of apocalyptic diaper rash, and that's what it resembles. I guess it's better than having your calves & ankles look like beer kegs, but I don't think I'll be wearing culottes anytime soon...

My belt is cinched a good 12 inches tighter than when LOLA began. I'm going to have to start buying new clothes, though I'm probably going to wait a few more months in hopes that I only have to do one "transition wardrobe" and not two. As it is, my trousered butt looks as saggy as a geriatric elephant's, and when I wore my suit jacket last Friday, it hung so loose I looked like a kid wearing his dad's coat.

People I don't even know are stopping me in the halls and by the elevators, commenting positively on what a noticeable change I've made. That's encouraging, I suppose, but a bit embarrassing, too.

Best guess is that I'm down 90 lbs, more or less. Before you get all excited, bear in mind I've got to do that twice more to get in the ballpark of my goal weight. Already the Principle of Diminishing Returns is starting to make its appearance. The more weight I lose, the slower it comes off. To maintain the same level of weight loss, I'm either going to have to cut calories further, or kick up the exercise level.

Summer in Houston is just not the time for a fat man to do any serious walking. My knees are already fragged, and mallwalking just ain't my thing. I'm probably going to wait for the fall cooldown before I start hoofing it around the hiking trail. Memorial Park and its 3 mile lighted walk/jog path is on my way home, and while I'll miss the summer Spandex season, there's still plenty of eye candy to make the walking bearable.

So, the physical side is going OK. The mental side? Eh, not so much.

Pre-Project LOLA, El Capitan could address his emotional issues by burying them under a half-gallon of Fudge Ripple ice cream and pound down a plateful of chili-cheese fries to make sure they didn't resurface anytime soon.

That option is no longer available, and it's starting to be problematic.

Oh, I'm not flying into homicidal rages or anything, but it's getting harder to keep a tight lid on my wellspring of snark and sarcasm, especially at work. I've said some things that I regret, and my overall patience level, never very high to begin with, has plummeted almost to nothing.

I'm also smoking more cigars than I need to. What started as a once-a-month treat on Poker Night has become an every weekend event and a couple of weeknights, too. I've had to go out and find some less expensive sticks as a result. It just won't do to burn a $12 Rocky Patel more than once a week. Damn oral fixation...

Adding to the mental agitation, I'm starting to realize that sooner or later I'm going to have to get off the porch and start actively pursuing the womenfolks. Christ, the whole dating scene was a major PITA when I was young. Something tells me things haven't improved much.

Ah, well. Life goes on, and hopefully for me, it goes on for a few extra decades. We shall see...

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Concerning Coils & Cars

You Need Fuel, Air & Spark. El Cap, Pick Only Two!!

Here's a quick look at the present issue facing El Capitan's truck. Not every car manufacturer has gone to a coil-on-plug design, but it's getting to be fairly common.

Back in the day, the engine gnomes would bore a hole through the block up towards the top of the cylinder, thread the hole, and insert a spark plug. On some engines, they were on the side, somewhere near the exhaust manifolds. Other ran down from the top.

You'd run your spark plug wires from each plug to the distributor cap, which was connected to the crankshaft via a gearing system. As the crankshaft turned, the distributor rotor would spin, sending current from the single ignition coil to each plug in turn, firing the plug as the cylinder reached full compression.

If you wanted to dick with somebody's ride, you'd get under their hood and pull the cable from the coil to the distributor cap, and they'd be going nowhere. If you REALLY wanted to be evil, you'd rearrange the order of the spark plug wires.

Some motorhead got the idea to improve reliability and timing by putting a coil on each plug, eliminating the distributor altogether. Instead of one coil, you have eight, and suddenly changing your spark plugs requires a Masters in Mechanical Engineering.

Here's why:

The bottom arrow is the spark plug. Instead of sticking out the side of the block, it's buried 6-8 inches deep in the cylinder head. The long bracket above the bottom arrow is the coil-on-plug assembly.

So, looks pretty easy to get to, right? Just lean in and yank em out?

Not so fast, Sparky...

Here's the 1 thru 4 cylinder bank on the F-150:

The red arrow points to the coil on Cylinder 4. You can see #3 behind it. #1 & #2 are buried under hoses, cables and brackets. In fact, to even get a single one off, you need to pull the silver bracket, remove the vacuum and oil breather hoses and dismount the fuse cover. Complete PITA, but do-able, if you've got long skinny gibbon arms, which I emphatically do not.

Want a real giggle? Here's the other cylinder bank. Look on my works, ye grease monkey, and despair!!

#6 coil is barely visible. #5 you can get to, #7 & #8 need a teleportation unit to remove, I surmise.

Again, back in the day, you could get a set of spark plugs, wires, a new distributor cap and rotor for less than $50. Now each coil-on-plug assembly runs about $100, though you can get them cheaper if you shop around. This is why I didn't replace all of them in one fell swoop.

So, that's the scoop, my little chickadees. Back when I could sit on the fender and hang my feet inside the engine compartment, I could get to all the little fiddly bits. Nowadays? Not so much. It's gotten a lot more crowded under the hood, and as I've said, svelte fingers ain't in my inventory.

Tuesday, July 13, 2010

Random Tidbits & Cerebral Effluvia

Remember The Days When I Told Funny Stories? Me Neither...

1) Yup, it's another bad ignition coil. For those of you just tuning in, Ford decided to put an ignition coil atop each individual spark plug, rather than one central coil connected to the distributor. They seem to burn out at random intervals, usually when you're trying to leave town. This time it's cylinder #2 up for renewal.

2) For those of you in the DFW area, I'm trying to head your direction this weekend. I'd try to make plans to see a few of you, but with the truck acting wonky and an unspecified agenda for the family reunion in Fort Worth, I can't guarantee I'll be able to make any meetups with any certainty. So, maybe I'll try again a bit later.

3) Anybody looking for an upright piano? This one's a Remington/Starr, probably from the 1910-1925 era. It's in good order, just needs a tuning and some felt on a couple of the pads. I think one of the pedals is wonky, but it should be fixable.

It's currently occupying most of the front entry hallway, under several months worth of junk mail. I mention this because on the way out the door this morning, something small & squiggly dropped off the screen door and scampered across the tile and scooted under the piano. I'm pretty sure it was a gecko, but just didn't want to put my face too close to find out for sure. My piano playing days (such as they were) are behind me, and I'm tired of squeezing past it to get in the house.

Price is ridiculously low and eminently negotiable. Bring several friends, two or more heavy-duty furniture dollys, a lowboy trailer or liftgate-equipped truck and a shitload of tie-down rope. It's solid wood with a cast-iron frame, and weighs somewhere between 750-1000 lbs. If I have to move the damn thing, the price goes up $5000.

4) Have y'all tried the Magic Pop multigrain cracker/cake/tostada thingies? Since Project LOLA began, I've been off breads and tortillas, and these taste a lot better than the old-style puffed-rice cakes that resemble compressed foam packing peanuts.

They shoot them out of a cooker/pressure popper gizmo, and they're not but 15 calories each. I've been spreading herbed tomato paste & garlic salt on them for a faux pizza, and they go real well as a dipper for cottage cheese.

Eat 'em quick. They keep really crisp for a few days, but they soak up humidity like a sponge if you leave the bag open, and they're not so good at the chewy stage.

(Image lifted from here)

Sunday, July 11, 2010


These Are The Times That Try El Cap's Soul...

Not three weeks after dropping over $1K on repairs for the Ford (F#ckin' Old Rebuilt Dodge) pickup, this is my reward for clean living and virtuous thoughts...

It's accompanied by the shuddering, lurching and reduced acceleration indicative of one or more of the ignition coils fritzing out. So, another $300-500 at the minimum.

Naturally, this happens 4 days before payday, and 5 days before I'm supposed to leave for a family reunion in Fort Worth.

I need to learn to curse in another language. Maybe German or Latvian or maybe Swahili. English just doesn't seem to hold sufficient invective for my current emotional level.

Saturday, July 10, 2010

It's Caturday!

Even Pirates Can Catblog!

Here's Betsy Cat doing what she does best, anchoring one corner of the bed so it doesn't fly off into space.

If I leave the fan on, she'll sit there all day, her whiskers blowing in the breeze.

Friday, July 09, 2010

Eat At Your Own Risk!!

Papa John, You Evil SOB!!!

I'm starting to dream about pizza. After months and months of a pizza-free existence, I'm even beginning to think that I could buy a bag of those frozen pizza rolls and have just a couple.

That's BS, of course. The entire bag would disappear in short order, so it's staying safely out of reach at the supermarket.

If I saw one of these pizza cones, though? Mamma mia! Mangia, MANGIA!!!

This on the other hand, I have no problem at all avoiding for the rest of my life...


Internal Combustion & Automatic Weaponry FOR THE WIN!!!

Ya know, nothing says "Up yours, hippie!" like 8 mpg and 4000 rounds per minute!

The custom license plate is just the icing on the cake!

Seen at C&S

Wednesday, July 07, 2010

A Folding Portable Crapper?


I saw this pic, and thought it must be a joke.

Nope, the company is for real!

Seems a lot of money for a box, even one you can crap in. For $30 USD, I'd just as soon buy one of those toilet seats that hook up to your trailer hitch...

Tuesday, July 06, 2010

Brain Dumps

Bizarre Nocturnal Hallucinations

Sometimes I despair of ever knowing what really goes on up in my convoluted noodle.

Take last night, f'rinstance. It was one of those infrequent tossing & turning nights where I didn't really drop off to sleep until almost time to get up, but the REM activity that probably lasted all of 10 minutes seemed to go on for hours.

I know that dreams are just your brain taking a holiday, but I'd sure like to know where it gleans the material for the main attraction.

I find myself at a hotel somewhere. Can't really tell the location, but for some reason, the bathroom facilities are located off-premises.

OK, no big deal... It's probably a flashback to all the camping trips of my youth, where the shower/shitter was always 10 campsites down the trail. Off I go to take care of business.

I reach the facility, and it's a complete pigsty. Making matters worse, a buddy of mine from some years past has made his home there. His stuff is scattered everywhere, and he's not around. It's a ramshackle affair, kind of a cross between an open-air shower and a two-holer long-drop latrine.

I can't recall ever dreaming about dropping a deuce before, but for some reason, it was craptime in Dreamland. I'm SO glad I didn't wake up and find a little brown buddy lying beside me!

The crapper is this weird stainless steel job, & very tiny. Reminded me of those little dentist spit-sinks. It's mounted on a tall shelf, and it's a PITA to get my ass centered in order to take care of business. The flusher mechanism is kind of like one of those ratcheting lawn sprinklers, washing down the bowl and half the bathroom, explaining a lot about what a shithole the place is.

About the time I'm figuring out the shower, I realize I have no towel or clean clothes, just the skivvies and T-shirt I've got on. I'm about to jump under the shower when there's this loud ruckus outside.

Looking out the window that has appeared in one wall, there's a horde of Mexican bandidos outside. Real 'Treasure of the Sierra Madre' bandolier & sombrero wearin' "We don' need no steenkin' badges!" sayin' bandidos.

They seem very upset that my friend is not there. Apparently he's got them buffaloed into thinking he's some sort of holy man/witch doctor kinda deal, and while they're PO'ed that he's absent, they seem disinclined to make trouble due to the place being his home.

I offer them the contents of the barn. Don't all good bathrooms have an attached barn? In dreamland they do! They feed their horses some hay & grain, and take off. I resume trying to figure out the shower, which seems to use something akin to a diesel generator to power the water pump.

About the time I get the water flowing, I'm woken up by my next-door neighbor banging on something out in the front yard, and of course I've overslept by 45 minutes.

I can't even blame this extreme weirdness on late-night pizza! I ain't had a slice in months!

Feel free to interpret, Dr. Fraud...

Sunday, July 04, 2010

Movie Night At Obama's House

Everyone's Got A Role Model!

I sorta suspected this might be his viewing choice...

Click pic for full size!

(Make your own version! TV inset is 158 pixels by 90 pixels)

Thursday, July 01, 2010

It's Hurricane Season!

You Can Never Have Too Much Pussy On Hand!

Time to stock up on necessary supplies!

These were on special! Buy 1 get 10 free!!

Yeah, OK, it's a bad Photoshop hack job... I just found it online and thought it looked cute!