Baboon Pirates

Scribbles and Scrawls from an unrepentant swashbuckling primate.

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Location: Texas, United States

Wednesday, August 17, 2011

Oh, This Just Sucks...

Don't Make Me Do This!!!

The problem with doing a good job is that you'll get noticed and asked to do more things.

Some of those things you will not like. I guarantee it.

I did a series of legal-type lectures for some mid-to-upper level managers recently, and I have to admit, it didn't entirely suck. Not everyone gets my uber-casual approach to learning, (no Podiums, no PowerPoints, no Pontificating) and a few seem somewhat bothered that I include a healthy dose of humor in a Very Serious Business Class, but overall it went pretty well.

So, it was decided that I ought to go deliver Diversity Training for one of The Man's departments.


I *DON'T* do diversity training! No! Nyet! Non! La! Ne! Neen!

They're insistent. I've countered with a suggestion to deliver "How Not To Fuck Up In The Modern Workplace And Get Your Dumb Ass Fired For Being A Complete Cocksucker, Gigantimous Dick and/or Sycophantic Douchebag" training. I might even call it something work-safe.

If they insist on some hot mess of a touchy-feely multi-culti love-thy-asshole-neighbor-even-when-he-cornholes you sort of class, I'm going to explode.

If I end up doing this, I swear to you I will be having everyone hold hands and sing Kum-Ba-Yah as a closing exercise...