Stop Telepathically Raping Me!!

Must Be Residual Nuclear Testing Fallout

"Crazy" is not a medical term.

Still, it's a lot easier to slip into conversation than "Absolutely Batshit Insane" or "Nuttier Than Squirrel Turds".

I'm a bit astounded by the sheer number of stories that reach the news where an innocent soul has suffered some misfortune due to not an accident, not premeditated malice, but instead the unlucky coincidence of interacting with some whackjob that got a triple dose of Rabid BugFuck when they were passing out mental health.

The story I'm about to relate reminds me of a cartoon by Sam Gross that was published in 'National Lampoon' a couple of decades back.

This young guy is sitting in a laundromat waiting on a dryer, and some old lady and her husband are there. She's folding a pair of knickers about the size of a mainsail, and the grubby, gnarly husband leans over and says "You have only to glance at my wife's intimate undergarments, and I shall be forced to kill you."

So, keep that cartoon in mind when you take a look at this pair:




Here's the story:

CENTERVILLE UTAH —

The wife of a man accused of shooting his neighbor because he thought the neighbor was "telepathically" raping her, has now been charged with encouraging her husband to "go for it."

On Oct. 30, police say Michael Selleneit took a handgun that he kept under his pillow, walked over to his neighbor's trailer and shot Tony Pierce, 41, multiple times as the man was working in his yard.

When Selleneit was arrested, he told police he shot Pierce in self-defense and intended to kill him, claiming Pierce had been "telepathically threatening he and his wife" and had telepathically raped his wife. It was a claim that Selleneit had been making for years.

Next time my neighbor wants to borrow the edger, I'm putting on a Kevlar vest before I open the front door...