Baboon Pirates

Scribbles and Scrawls from an unrepentant swashbuckling primate.

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Location: Texas, United States

Friday, June 16, 2006

I'm Gonna Be Rich!!!

First, I'm Gonna Buy Me A Hippopotamus...

Just got an email from a Rev. Fr. Peter Clark. Dunno quite what a Rev. Fr. is, but he seems most eager to mail me a huge crate of cash. All I've got to do is open it up, give $500,000 to my favorite charity (Hmmm... howzabout "El Capitan's Home For Wayward Tequila Bottles?") and the rest is mine to keep.

Yeah, yeah, I know. you're thinking this is just another one of those Nigerian 419 scams. I beg to differ! This upstanding man is from SENEGAL!! If he was Nigerian, he would've emailed this guy, anyway.

Read it and get a good laugh. I especially like the way he's gonna ship 10 million dollars in a "security-proof" box. I also didn't realize all my problems I'm having are interest groups. Smart guys, these Senegalese!

Please let me know if you can figure out what a 'parastatal' is. I also might need some assistance disposing of bodies after I "do away with those officers" that apparently have been extorting money from me.

I can't wait to get my box of money! Like the Rev. Fr. says, I "have notting to worry about"!!

DAKAR,SENEGAL. TEL:+(221)4488469.

Dear Friend,
I am Rev. Fr. Peter Clark, a senior staff with the UN special duties office,my office monitors and controls the affairs of all banks and financial institutions.
I have before me list of funds, which could not be transferred to some nominated accounts as these accounts have been identified either as ghost accounts, unclaimed deposits and over-invoiced sum etc; I have the opportunity to write you based on the instructions among others i received days ago from the officer in the computer section in person of Engineer Peter Cliff,to bring out part of your total pending payment with reference number(LM-05-371) amounting US$10million. The (Ten Million Dollars) is been arranged in a security-proof box weighing 75kg. In order to get the
box shipped to you.

As I found out that you have met all the statutory requirements in respect of your pending payment. The problems you are having is that of interest groups. A lot of people are interested in your payment and those people are merely doing paper works with you and that explains why you receive different kinds of untrue fax and phone messages from different people everyday. Also we found out that some of the officials of the parastatals have been extorting money from you with the pretext of helping you receive your money. I can assure you this will keep happening if you do not do away with those officers. For security reasons you do not have to tell anybody that your have your payment on the way until the payment gets to you.

The (CSO)and i Yesterday went to this four courier companies Dhl, Ems, FedEx and Ups to make arrangements on how to get the box shipped to you by courier, but to no avail the above courier companies all made us to understand that they will have to
open the box for inspection by the customs before shipment. This is something we want to avoid because this box is been padded with synthetic nylon and to open it you will have to cut the pad before you will meet the button that you will press to open the dial code-lock. There is no way you can open the box and be able to close it again because it was padded with machine. We told the courier services that the box contained film materials and when open will spoil the materials. we did not declare money.

Today a friend of mine who is a diplomat disclosed to me that there is a security courier service company that is specialized in sending diplomatic materials and information from one country to another, which also has diplomatic immunity and consignment such as this cannot be checked by any customs anywhere in the world. I
have therefore met the official of the security courier service and concluded shipping arrangement with them, which they will commence as soon as I have your go ahead order. The diplomat who will be bringing in this consignment to you is an expert and has been in this line of work for many years now so we have notting to worry about. After all arrangements we have concluded that you must donate Five Hundred Thousand United States dollars (US$500,000.00) to any charity organisation I designate as soon as you receive your money. To this effect, you will send to us a promissory note for the donation along with your address where you wil! l like the box to be delivered to by the courier. Please maintain topmost secrecy as it may cause a lot of problems if found out that we are using this way to help you.

Am helping you on this because something in me tells me that you are an honest person. May almighty God bless you, Please maintain topmost secrecy as it may cause a lot of problems if found out that we are using this way to help you. You are advised not inform anyone about this until you received your money. When you conclude this we will help to ship the final part of your money to you. Feel free to call me on my private telephone number above for further discussion.

Yours Faithfully,
Revd. Fr. Peter Clark.
Director, Special Duties.UNO/WBF.