Baboon Pirates

Scribbles and Scrawls from an unrepentant swashbuckling primate.

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Location: Texas, United States

Friday, July 28, 2017

New Retirement Plan

It's A Growth Industry

My friend Jenni posted this cartoon on the Book of Face this afternoon.

Friends help you move.  Best Friends help you move bodies!

It got me thinking about a way to finance my retirement.

I think I'll open up a campground.

Remember the old KOA camps that were all over the place?  Mine will be kind of like that, only with much fewer amenities.

I'm going to call it the DOA Campground.

Here's how it's gonna work:

I'll buy a sizable plot of land somewhere out in East Texas, deep in the Piney Woods.

Primitive camping.  No water, no electric, not even a long-drop outhouse.

You can show up whenever you want.  No need to speak to anyone, just place an envelope with your entrance fee ($5000 per night) in the dropbox by the front gate, receive your gate key and map, then follow the map to your campsite.

The campsite is rough, just a clearing in the woods big enough to turn your car around and, if you're so inclined, pitch a tent and build a fire.

Feel the call of nature?  We'll dig you a trench.  Using a backhoe. 

It'll be 6 foot long, 6 foot deep, and 3 foot wide.  We'll park the backhoe nearby, and leave a bag of quicklime in the scoop.

Dump whatever sewage or other waste you might have in your trunk or van into the trench.

We'll leave the keys in the backhoe.  Just fill in the trench before you leave.

And there you have it!  DOA Campground!!