Baboon Pirates

Scribbles and Scrawls from an unrepentant swashbuckling primate.

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Location: Texas, United States

Wednesday, December 01, 2004

Carnival Of The Vanities #115 is up!

This weeks Carnival of the Vanities (#115!) is up at Ashish's place.

Go check it out! I posted my rat story.

I suppose I ought to shed a little light on the title of the post. It comes from a joke I heard from my buddy Rockhauler many years ago. He's got a slew of jokes featuring the incredibly foul-mouthed Cajun brat named Little Dirty Ernie Bergeron, and this one's always been one of my favorites. Here it is:

Little Dirty Ernie Bergeron is sitting in a classroom way back in the bayou country carving nekkid wimmen in his desktop when the teacher, Miss Thibodeaux, announces an assignment. She's going to name a letter of the alphabet, and she wants a student to tell the class a word that starts with that letter. As soon as she starts, Little Dirty Ernie bounces up in his seat and waves his arm to get called on. He's almost frantic to be the one selected.

Miss Thibodeaux is no fool, her! She knows what's likely to come out of his mouth. A for 'ass', she's thinking to herself, b for 'bastard', c for 'cu..' She can't even bring herself to think of the rest of that filthy vulgar word.

She continues through the alphabet, carefully avoiding Ernie, who is energetically waving his hand in the air at each letter. Finally, she gets to the letter R. Ernie is almost about to pee his britches, he wants to get called on so badly.

Now, Miss Thibodeaux hasn't had all that many dirty words enter her shell-like ears, but she just can't think of anything bad starting with the letter "R". Little Dirty Ernie Bergeron is literally jumping up and down in his seat, about to give himself a stroke the way he's waving his hand up in the air to get called on. So, Miss Thibodeaux says "OK, Ernie, you tell the class something that starts with the letter R".

Little Dirty Ernie Bergeron leaps to his seat, and at the top of his voice he shrieks:

"RATS!! BIG FUCKIN' RATS WITH DICKS LIKE BASEBALL BATS AND ASSHOLES THE SIZE OF SILVER DOLLARS!!!"


Heh. I think we just might have to hear more tales from Little Dirty Ernie in the future...