Flat tire on a Houston freeway? $75, please!

What an absolute load of crap.

Hizzoner's new "SafeClear" towing company subsidy scheme went into effect this past weekend. In a nutshell, if your car breaks down, you are involved in a wreck or have a flat tire in any of Houston's freeways, your car will be forcibly towed, with or without your consent.

Now, I'm not arguing that keeping the freeways clear will not speed up traffic or keep things safer. What I object to is the capricious nature of how the fee structure was implemented, the ridiculous time limit, and the blatant way the City is supplementing its income on the backs of a citizen's misfortune.

Under the program, the tow company (that has already paid tens of thousands of dollars to the City for the right to scavenge a particular segment of the freeway system) has SIX minutes to respond to a disabled vehicle and start the tow approval and hookup progess. Some people thought this meant you had 6 minutes to get your tire changed, but this is not the case. The TranStar video cameras home in on the disabled car, and an on-site police officer in the TranStar control center can call the driver to issue the tow order.

You are NOT given a chance to fix your flat tire. Nope. Pay $75, please. Cash, Check or Charge. What? No cash on you? Your car gets taken to the police impound yard. Now you owe $124. Aw, gee, you gotta pay rent, feed the kids and keep the lights on? Too bad. 61 days without paying the rapidly escalating lot fees, and the City sells your car at auction. So, a flat tire might mean the complete loss of your car.

Just fucking disgraceful.

Here's the so-called "Customer Bill of Rights".

Disabled or wrecked vehicles constitute a threat to public safety and the efficient operation of our freeways. To reduce the threat to public safety, leaving a disabled vehicle on a freeway is not an option. If you are involved in a disablement, a SAFE CLEAR towing agent will remove your vehicle from the freeway. As the owner/operator of the vehicle your rights at the incident scene are protected as follows:

1. IF YOU ARE NOT PRESENT OR YOU DO NOT AGREE, THE TOWING AGENT WILL RECEIVE POLICE AUTHORIZATION TO TOW YOUR VEHICLE TO AN APPROVED VEHICLE STORAGE FACILITY. IN ORDER TO REDEEM YOUR VEHICLE YOU WILL BE RESPONSIBLE FOR PAYMENT OF THE RELATED TOWING AND STORAGE FEES.

2. IF YOU ARE PRESENT AND AGREE, YOUR DISABLED VEHICLE SHALL BE TOWED TO A POLICE PRIVATE STORAGE LOT, OR A POSITION OFF THE PAVED OR MAIN TRAVELED PART OF THE HIGHWAY OR OTHER PLACE OF SAFETY, AS DIRECTED BY A LAW ENFORCEMENT OFFICER.

3. THE TOWING AGENT WILL PROVIDE AN ITEMIZED INVOICE/RECEIPT TO YOU. THE TOWING AGENT WILL LIST THE FEE CHARGED FOR THE REMOVAL OF YOUR VEHICLE FROM THE FREEWAY, OR OTHER REASONABLE SERVICES PROVIDED.

4. PAYMENT CAN BE MADE BY CASH, CHECK OR MAJOR CREDIT CARD (VISA-MC-AMEX-DISCOVER), OR AN AUTOMOBILE DEALER PURCHASE ORDER. IF YOU ARE UNABLE TO MAKE PAYMENT, YOUR VEHICLE WILL BE TOWED TO AN APPROVED VEHICLE STORAGE FACILITY AND A DAILY STORAGE FEE WILL BE CHARGED AS SET BY CITY ORDINANCE.

5. IF YOUR CAR IS INVOLVED IN AN ACCIDENT INVOLVING INJURY, A LAW ENFORCEMENT OFFICER WILL BE DISPATCHED TO INVESTIGATE THE ACCIDENT. IF NO INJURY IS INVOLVED, YOU ARE ASKED TO REMOVE YOUR VEHICLE FROM THE ROADWAY IN ACCORDANCE WITH STATE LAW 550.022. CAUTION: DO NOT SIGN ANY “AUTHORIZATION TO REPAIR” AT THE SCENE OF AN ACCIDENT.

There's not a single "right" in that load of BS. It's just a gun barrel staring at you from the Mayor and City Council, essentially legalizing theft of your property.

Safety and Traffic control, my bulbous ass. It's another case of the City extorting money, and screwing over the citizenry. If they were really serious about safety, they'd do it as a free service. That's what Harris County does.

What about the teenager who doesn't have a spare $75? The indigent? The working poor? I suppose some asshole out there would just say "Well, they can just stay off the freeways!"

Nope, you ignunt asshole, not an option. After 300 cars were towed in the first 4 days of the plan, Hizzoner saw the dollar signs (the City gets a big cut of the impound fees) and now they're talking about implementing this on all of Houston's major thoroughfares.

There's already people jacking with the system. They're pulling to a halt on the freeway shoulder and waiting. When the tow truck arrives, they take off, and go do it again in another segment of the freeway. I think I'll join 'em. If we get 100-200 people a day doing this, we'll start seriously pissing off the tow vultures.

This topic is heating up the talk-radio airwaves. I've heard but cannot confirm that there's already been arrests made of people objecting to the involuntary seizure of their cars. I expect a court case pretty soon. State Sen. John Whitmire is planning legislation against this scheme, and is also wondering why the State of Texas wasn't offered a cut of the fees. After all, the freeways are all state-funded highways!

Grrr. Here's more from Hizzoner:

"Folks don't have the right to change tires on the freeway in the middle of rush hour. It's dangerous and it backs up traffic."

Bullshit. I guarantee I can change a tire at least as quickly as it takes a tow truck operator to hook up a car, and make less of an impact. Sure, there's a danger there, but it's an acceptable risk.

Nope, this is a revenue-generating scheme first and foremost, yet another in a long line of "benevolent government" programs sold as "safety measures".