Baboon Pirates

Scribbles and Scrawls from an unrepentant swashbuckling primate.

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Location: Texas, United States

Wednesday, September 28, 2005

One More Tale From The Transit Center

Relax, It's A Short One!

The past couple of evenings I've been hanging out at the bus stop after I get off the bus in the evenings, sometimes for up to 15 minutes before walking out to my car.

Why? I'm waiting for this woman to stand up.

It's the damnedest thing I've seen in ages, and I'm not sure exactly why it interests me to this degree. It's surely not the woman's physical attributes. She's one of those lanky, malnourished hippie types, with a perpetual scowl and usually carrying a copy of some book that's Profound and Meaningful. Also, she's got thighs that have a space daylight shines through when her legs are together. Ick. Too bony for me!

She does, however, have a flexibility that piques my interest. The first time I noticed her, she was sitting cross-legged by a route schedule display reading a book. Being a bibliophile myself, I was attempting to get a peek at the title, when her bus arrived. In one smooth motion, she went from sitting crosslegged to standing. No handhold for support, no getting up on one knee, just butt on the ground to butt in the air, still holding the book open in front of her.

I must have replayed that move in my mind a couple of hundred times, trying to figure out the mechanics of it. FSM knows that if I tried that, I'd have both femurs injected into my abdominal cavity, and the knee joint explosions would have scattered bone and cartilage over a 4 block radius.

I couldn't quite figure it out, so I camped out the next evening seeing if she showed up. Yep, she sure did. Repeated the procedure, and I'm still flummoxed.

Personally, I think she's got an anti-gravity module wedged in her asscheeks. It's the only way I can explain how she does it.