Baboon Pirates

Scribbles and Scrawls from an unrepentant swashbuckling primate.

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Location: Texas, United States

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Bits & Pieces

Random Observations From 1800 Miles Of Highway

I was disappointed that the big torches weren't burning in Lake Charles, LA, either coming or going. There's some gigantimous petroleum refineries in Lake Charles, and they have some tall gas pipes that flame off their by-products. There's one right by the Interstate that's at least 10-12 stories tall, with a burner capping it off about the size of a hot tub. You can see it from miles away, and it lights the way home to Texas. Probably some anemic tree-hugger complained about global warming, and they shut 'em off...

I'd forgotten about the zombie plant from hell called kudzu. That crap was all over the place in Georgia and Alabama, like a big green blanket over the landscape. They ought to issue hedge trimmers and flame throwers to the local school kids, and award prizes for the most acres cleared.

Near Hattiesburg, MS, there's an area on the west side of I-59 that's just infested with travel trailers. I suppose it's a FEMA storage area, but you just can't imagine the amount of trailers. Acres and acres of the things.

The official recreational sport of Louisiana seems to be "Drive your truck 90 mph in the rain, then crash into a tour bus and delay traffic for 3 hours". I spent longer trying to get through Baton Rouge than I did traversing the state of Mississippi. Slow down, you coonass idjits!

We really need to look into the creation of wormholes or tesseracts along the interstate to speed up arrival at the border. Once you get past Tuscaloosa and Birmingham, there's really nothing in Alabama but miles of nothing. Same deal for Mississippi south of Meridian. At least put up a few Burma Shave signs for amusement...

I debated heading south into New Orleans Sunday evening and seeing if I could weasel my way into either Galatoire's, Brennan's or Commander's Palace for a fancy dinner. Alas, I was without jacket or tie or reservation, so dinner was some beef jerky, Diet Mountain Dew and a bag of pretzels from a Pilot truckstop.

There's a time zone change somewhere along the Alabama/Georgia border. I'm used to the clock on my truck stereo being an hour behind, but it was two hours behind the whole weekend. Also, I'm not sure who told my cell phone to change time zones, but it did without me punching any buttons. I'm still not sure what my exact travel time was, btw. I suppose it evens out over the course of the trip.

I saw mostly dead armadillos in Alabama, dead raccoons in Mississippi, dead possums in Louisiana, and dead skunks in Georgia. Quite a lot of roadkill along the highways, including several coyotes, a red fox, several hound dogs and at least one deer. There were numerous examples of "I don't know WTF that was, and I ain't stopping to find out!"