Five Weeks Of Hell

I Will Kill You For Your Burrito Supreme...

A while back I made passing mention of a project I was working on. I was hesitant to mention anything in great detail lest I throw any monkeys into the wrench.

I'm still not at the point where I'm gonna explain everything, but I'll give you a hint...

So far, I've gone 5 whole weeks without:

Cheeseburgers
Chilidogs
Pasta
Chicken Fried Steak
Nachos
Pizza
Hamburger (ground beef)
Baked Potatoes
Chocolate
Patty Melts
Breakfast Burritos
Tater Tots
Hash Browns
Pancakes
French Fries
Fried Chicken
Milkshakes
Beer
Potato Chips/Fritos/Snackie Chips
Wine
Ice Cream
Liquor
Ranch & Blue Cheese Salad Dressing
Miracle Whip
Deep-Fried Anything
Cookies/Cakes/Pies
Cinnamon Rolls
Kolaches
Candy
Sugary Sodas
Sonic Slushees
98% of available Fast Food**
Donuts
Bread/rolls/buns

And about 1000 other delicious tasty calorie-laden foods...

So far, I'm none the worse for wear, excepting the feral gleam in my eyes whenever someone comes close bearing food composed of raw carbohydrates and/or refined sugars. Driving by the Sunbeam Bread bakery in the morning is sheer torture.

There's no outward sign it's having any effect, but as big as I am, that's no surprise. I doubt y'all will notice much of a change until this time next year. I can see small signs of progress, though. The tops of my fingers are all deflated & wrinkly, like an elephant's trunk. I can step into my shoes instead of having to squeeze them on. My belt needs to be tightened a couple more inches.

Anyway, If I wave off a third plate of food, or decline to guzzle beer until I fall over, don't take it personally. There's some slack built into the system to have an occasional Cheat Day, but that still doesn't mean I get to pull a Mr. Creosote.

More news as it happens...

** The only fast foods (i.e. served in a paper bag via a drive-thru) I can have now are Sonic Grilled Chicken Wraps (400 calories, 14 fat grams) and occasionally, a Jack In The Box Mango Smoothie (450 calories, no fat grams)