Ninja Poodles?

We Will *Not* Teach Them How To Fly!

I've been kicking around the idea of acquiring a dog or two. As much as I groove on the kitties, and loved Betsy Cat & Pookie Cat, I do like dogs, and haven't owned one for 20 years or so.

Nothing's decided yet. I still have a lot of decisions to make regarding age, breed, source, and so forth. I'm also trying to get my head around owning a breed that I've never really considered an "El Capitan-compliant" pooch.

For the longest time, I've just assumed I'd end up getting a couple of dachshunds or maybe a brace of Scotty dogs. Something small & feisty, anyway.

Lately, though, I've been considering some larger breeds. German Shepherds are kinda cool, as are Border Collies & big goofy Labs.

There is one idea that keeps percolating, though.

I sort of want a poodle.

Now, I know what you're thinking... "WTF would El Cap want with a prissy little poodle?"

He doesn't! I'm talking about a big standard poodle, with a minimum of fancy fur-clipping, and certainly no painted toenails or hair bows!

Also, I want it trained to go for the gonads on command.

See, no one would suspect it! It'd be like those Q-ships in WWII. The German U-Boat would surface alongside some old freighter, and commence to blasting with the deck gun to save a torpedo. Quick as a flash, the paneling falls away, and the freighter's packing a half-dozen 40mm Bofors cannon, and peppers the shit out of the sub!

This would be the same kinda thing! I'd be out walking the dog, and somebody decides to give me grief. So, I slip the leash, yell "NIXON! NIXON!!" and relax & enjoy the show as Porthos the Poodle chews through the goblin's crotch! Fun!

Hmmmm.... Maybe I should get two of 'em!