How To Fix Things

Ah, To Be Squeaky Clean Once Again!

Step #1 - Invite Brother-In-Law over for a holiday visit.
Step #2 - Lay out hand tools
Step #3 - Stay out of his way.

That's pretty much it.

I don't even have to point things out. All those little nit-picky things that need doing will magically get done.

"Hey, Cap, did you notice the brace on the incoming electric main came loose from the soffit?"
"Um, where? What?"
"Oh, I fixed it."

"Hey, the gap around the door to the hall closet was uneven, so I pulled the door, reset the hinges and rehung it."
"Uh, what door??"

"Damn, Cap, the pressure in the shower sucks.  What's up with that?"
"50 year old steel pipes, a jacked up house filtration system, and 3 municipal water main projects that have dumped pounds of sediment into the pipes & manifolds..."
"Let me take a look..."

3 hours later, there's a hole chopped in the drywall in the office closet to get to the shower manifold, the filter housing has been dug up and replaced, and things are back to normal.

You know how you squeeze the handle at the coin-op carwash, and the blast of water comes out the nozzle?   That's the pressure I'm now getting at the showerhead.  It's f#*$&^ng GLORIOUS!!

I wish the guy drank something other than Lite beer.  He'd be getting a screamingly expensive bottle of Scotch for Xmas.

Good thing he's always in need of ammo.  A few boxes always stuff nicely in stockings.