Baboon Pirates

Scribbles and Scrawls from an unrepentant swashbuckling primate.

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Location: Texas, United States

Thursday, September 15, 2005

Almost Got Away With It

Two Examples Of Crushed Hopes

Today's not the day for risk-takers, it seems. On the way into the Park & Ride, I saw two squirrels chasing each other by the side of the road. Then, inexplicably, both decided to dash into the road, presumably to continue the game on the north side of the street.

Squirrels being squirrels, and not possessed of more than a thimbleful of brain matter, chose to make their change of venue just as a herd of cars traversed that stretch of pavement. One squirrel bonded with a Michelin almost immediately, and the other decided to retreat. Just as I got near the scene of the squish, the Random Event Generator in the little squirrelly head of the surviving rodent decided that, no, it needed to change directions and continue on to its original destination.

He made it under my car, but looking back in the rearview mirror, he didn't manage to escape the car in the lane next to me. Two-Fer!!! 30-Love in favor of the vehicles today. Who knows, maybe they were star-crossed lovers from warring squirrel clans, and decided to end it all in a suicide pact.

The second incident made me laugh hard enough to rouse the other passengers on the commuter bus out of their naps. The Park & Ride I use is also a hub for the HOV (High Occupancy Vehicle) lanes that run down most of our major freeways. You've got to have a certain number of people in the vehicle to use them, and the police will ticket you if you ride in them solo. Since the lane funnels into the Park & Ride area, the METRO cops will loiter around the exit ramp in pairs, waving over the violators to issue citations.

As my bus is pulling by the pair of cop cars, I see two officers loading the head and torso of a mannequin into the back of one of the cruisers. Apparently some genius had decided to spoof the system by having a "passenger" along for the ride. The genius did not take the trouble to dress the mannequin or put a wig on it, and a nekkid bald man with no arms or legs in your front seat tends to attract attention rather than deflect it.

I assume the cops seized the mannequin as evidence. I know it's a hefty fine if you get caught, but it's still a citation. I think they probably ought to have issued the ticket, and let the offender keep his mannequin. Who knows what actually happened. For all I know, the violator put up a fuss, and he was handcuffed and leg-ironed on the floorboards of the other cop car.

You see some odd things early in the morning...