Baboon Pirates

Scribbles and Scrawls from an unrepentant swashbuckling primate.

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Location: Texas, United States

Friday, September 05, 2008

Sick Of Being Sick!

Boogers For Sale Or Rent! Phlegm dispensed, 50 Cents!

I am so ready for this creeping crud to exit my body...

Aside from the general malaise and the horrible sore throat, for the fourth time in two days, I've just expelled a booger outta my left nostril that's about the size and consistency of a garden slug. Not the big banana slug, mind you, just the regular ones.

Come to think about it, that last booger might have had eyestalks on one end... it was certainly slimy enough.

Have you ever seen an industrial icemaker at work? To make those big irregular ice chunks you buy in 20 lb bags, there's a superchilled steel plate over which a thin stream of water is poured. Layer by layer it freezes until the ice sheet is about half an inch thick. Then, the ice is knocked off, falling into a collection bin for bagging.

A variation on this process must be what's making these monster boogers. My upper sinuses are dripping bacteria-laden goo down along my nasal walls, where the constant stream of air is drying it out. Usually, it would just collect up there and fill the cavity, but the combination of nasal spray and decongestant/expectorant is keeping things flowing.

When the boogersicle is large enough, the air flow catches it like a sail, and with a sufficient breeze (like, say, a sneeze!) it comes flopping out onto my desktop.

I gotta get a picture of the next one. These are just too gross to keep to myself...