Baboon Pirates

Scribbles and Scrawls from an unrepentant swashbuckling primate.

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Location: Texas, United States

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Five Weeks Of Hell

I Will Kill You For Your Burrito Supreme...

A while back I made passing mention of a project I was working on. I was hesitant to mention anything in great detail lest I throw any monkeys into the wrench.

I'm still not at the point where I'm gonna explain everything, but I'll give you a hint...

So far, I've gone 5 whole weeks without:

Chicken Fried Steak
Hamburger (ground beef)
Baked Potatoes
Patty Melts
Breakfast Burritos
Tater Tots
Hash Browns
French Fries
Fried Chicken
Potato Chips/Fritos/Snackie Chips
Ice Cream
Ranch & Blue Cheese Salad Dressing
Miracle Whip
Deep-Fried Anything
Cinnamon Rolls
Sugary Sodas
Sonic Slushees
98% of available Fast Food**

And about 1000 other delicious tasty calorie-laden foods...

So far, I'm none the worse for wear, excepting the feral gleam in my eyes whenever someone comes close bearing food composed of raw carbohydrates and/or refined sugars. Driving by the Sunbeam Bread bakery in the morning is sheer torture.

There's no outward sign it's having any effect, but as big as I am, that's no surprise. I doubt y'all will notice much of a change until this time next year. I can see small signs of progress, though. The tops of my fingers are all deflated & wrinkly, like an elephant's trunk. I can step into my shoes instead of having to squeeze them on. My belt needs to be tightened a couple more inches.

Anyway, If I wave off a third plate of food, or decline to guzzle beer until I fall over, don't take it personally. There's some slack built into the system to have an occasional Cheat Day, but that still doesn't mean I get to pull a Mr. Creosote.

More news as it happens...

** The only fast foods (i.e. served in a paper bag via a drive-thru) I can have now are Sonic Grilled Chicken Wraps (400 calories, 14 fat grams) and occasionally, a Jack In The Box Mango Smoothie (450 calories, no fat grams)