If Cost Was No Object...
This seems to be the week for Blog-memes. This one is from Graumagus, and concerns what FIVE items you might purchase for yourself if price was no object.
There are rules... you must actually be able to take possession of the items you select without running afoul of local laws. So, even if Monica Bellucci was amenable to being purchased by me, (strictly to learn to speak Italian! Really!) I couldn't actually own her, so no dice there. Dammit.
No buying the moon or other celestial bodies, either.
Also, things on the government-restricted armaments list is out, so no A-bombs, Nimitz-class carriers, or M1 Abrams tanks. If you can finagle it legally, though, game on!
So, what would make El Capitan happy? Here we go....
1) U-Boat
I avoid almost all forms of extreme liberal moonbattery, but I just can't shake the thought that making torpedo runs on whaling ships would be a good thing. Perhaps it's because I think the world could use more whales instead of more Norwegians and Japanese that eat whales. If they want to eat whales that badly, let them build a big-ass tank and breed them. Nope, give me the keys to a U-Boat and a few hardy souls to crew her, and I'll let Greenpeace lead the way to the whaling ship harbor. Then, it's time for a repeat of Scapa Flow. After that I'll sink the Rainbow Warrior II just because it reeks of tofu and patchouli oil.
2) Luxury Yacht
Well, I'm gonna need a tender for the sub, so I might as well make the yacht big enough to serve in that regard. Screw the sails, I'm going for a diesel-powered monstrosity even larger than the Trump Princess. Something really spectacularly obscene in terms of cost and bad taste!
3) Dauphin Helicopter
I'll need some way to fly out to the yacht, so we'll go for a Dauphin 'copter. I know, it's made by the *spit* French *spit*, but in addition to champagne, stinky cheese and whining about the U.S., it's an item that they excel at.
4) Custom-Built Sword
Every good pirate needs a fine blade at his side! I've got a great design worked out, loosely based on this basic form. It'll probably take a while to find out who does the best work in several different areas, including pattern-welding, blade forging, polishing, bronze casting and fitting design. I'd also want three copies, one for general bashing around, one for formal occasions and lopping of the occasional head, and the best reserved for display.
5) The Astrodome
Now that Houston has Reliant Stadium, the 'Dome is just taking up space. There's been talk of making it into an extreme sports arena, a hotel, and just demolishing it. I think the 8th Wonder Of The World deserves a better fate, so I'm gonna turn it into the world's largest bachelor pad. There's room enough inside to do just about everything, from rock climbing to parachuting. Plus, I'm thinking you could grow a helluva lot of weed in there. Not that I'd know anything about that.
There are rules... you must actually be able to take possession of the items you select without running afoul of local laws. So, even if Monica Bellucci was amenable to being purchased by me, (strictly to learn to speak Italian! Really!) I couldn't actually own her, so no dice there. Dammit.
No buying the moon or other celestial bodies, either.
Also, things on the government-restricted armaments list is out, so no A-bombs, Nimitz-class carriers, or M1 Abrams tanks. If you can finagle it legally, though, game on!
So, what would make El Capitan happy? Here we go....
1) U-Boat
I avoid almost all forms of extreme liberal moonbattery, but I just can't shake the thought that making torpedo runs on whaling ships would be a good thing. Perhaps it's because I think the world could use more whales instead of more Norwegians and Japanese that eat whales. If they want to eat whales that badly, let them build a big-ass tank and breed them. Nope, give me the keys to a U-Boat and a few hardy souls to crew her, and I'll let Greenpeace lead the way to the whaling ship harbor. Then, it's time for a repeat of Scapa Flow. After that I'll sink the Rainbow Warrior II just because it reeks of tofu and patchouli oil.
2) Luxury Yacht
Well, I'm gonna need a tender for the sub, so I might as well make the yacht big enough to serve in that regard. Screw the sails, I'm going for a diesel-powered monstrosity even larger than the Trump Princess. Something really spectacularly obscene in terms of cost and bad taste!
3) Dauphin Helicopter
I'll need some way to fly out to the yacht, so we'll go for a Dauphin 'copter. I know, it's made by the *spit* French *spit*, but in addition to champagne, stinky cheese and whining about the U.S., it's an item that they excel at.
4) Custom-Built Sword
Every good pirate needs a fine blade at his side! I've got a great design worked out, loosely based on this basic form. It'll probably take a while to find out who does the best work in several different areas, including pattern-welding, blade forging, polishing, bronze casting and fitting design. I'd also want three copies, one for general bashing around, one for formal occasions and lopping of the occasional head, and the best reserved for display.
5) The Astrodome
Now that Houston has Reliant Stadium, the 'Dome is just taking up space. There's been talk of making it into an extreme sports arena, a hotel, and just demolishing it. I think the 8th Wonder Of The World deserves a better fate, so I'm gonna turn it into the world's largest bachelor pad. There's room enough inside to do just about everything, from rock climbing to parachuting. Plus, I'm thinking you could grow a helluva lot of weed in there. Not that I'd know anything about that.
posted by El Capitan | 6:04 PM
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