Why Not A Pump Shotgun?

I knew someone would ask why I'm looking for a short-barreled double instead of the more usual choice of a pump-action scattergun. So, here's why...

First, the sound of a pump-action slide racking back and forth to chamber a round is extremely familiar. To quote Jules from Pulp Fiction, "If you ever heard it, it meant your ass."
I'm not in the business of scaring people, though. If things come to the point that I need to get the shotgun out, we've gotten past the preliminary rounds and moved right into the main event.

Second, I'm just tickled pink by the thought of having an old-fashioned double gun. Every time I see Rio Lobo, I get a laugh out of Jack Elam's character, carrying a double-barreled shotgun. I'll paraphrase his quote, as best I can remember:

"Now, I've got me a shotgun here with the triggers wired back, and my thumb holding back the hammers. It's pointed at your spine, so you take things nice & easy. It's be a shame if I hit a bump and we had us a little accident!"

Third, looking down the barrels is like gazing into the gates of hell. It's like seeing Satan's twin assholes ('cause you know he's gotta have two...) pointed at you, ready to spew fire and corruption.


Finally, if the shit ever really hits the fan, it's the work of a few minutes to turn this:



Into This!


Here endeth the lesson!