AIIIEEE!! My Head Just Exploded!

The Horror... The Horror...

Go read this. Try not to puke on your keyboard.

Here's some excerpts:

In May 2002, for example, the principal of Franklin Elementary School in Santa Monica, Calif., sent a newsletter to parents informing them that children could no longer play tag during the lunch recess. As she explained, "In this game, there is a 'victim' or 'It,' which creates a self-esteem issue."

The National PTA recommends a cooperative alternative to the fiercely competitive "tug of war" called "tug of peace." Some professionals in physical education advocate activities in which children compete only with themselves, such as juggling, unicycling, pogo sticking, and even "learning to ... manipulate wheelchairs with ease."

...juggling, too, poses risks.
A former member of The President's Council on Physical Fitness and Sports suggests using silken scarves rather than, say, uncooperative tennis balls that lead to frustration and anxiety. "Scarves," he points out, "are soft, non-threatening, and float down slowly."

Jesus H. Tapdancing Christ! We're raising a nation of pantywaists!

(Grudging) Thanks to Sheila for bringing this nauseating dreck to my attention! Her post is actually pretty good. Give it a read, if your noggin is still intact.