Butt-blogging Trifecta
Why Wait For That Third Shoe To Drop, Earthling!
One of my many errands on Friday was a trip to the Doc so he could change the oil, rotate the tires, and have a look under the hood.
All in all, it could be worse. He had the results of my Xmas Eve emergency room blood test, and pulled more blood to get a more timely check of the State Of The Fluids situation.
From the Xmas test, (which I'd not gotten the results of...) my cholesterol levels were good. My blood sugar & A1C levels are OK. Not great, but OK. I still haven't managed to swear off chilidogs yet. Blood pressure was 128/76, so that set of meds is keeping my head from asploding.
One spot of concern was a touch of anemia. This seems to be common in women that have regular visits from Aunt Flo, but not so much in men. I asked what might be causing it, picturing in my mind the pounds of red meat I consume weekly, along with eggs, dried apricots, spinach and other iron-rich foods.
"Well, Cap," said the Doc, "You could be losing blood through your digestive tract. Bleeding ulcer, polyps, any number of things. You're what... 39? Just about time for you to start having the annual finger-up-your-ass exam!"
I could almost swear he sounded gleeful...
He starts to go on about scheduling a visit to the proctologist, and describing the TV camera up da butt procedure, and I'm sort of in a cold sweat, 'cause I'm one of those guys that's got a pretty ironclad "EXIT ONLY" strategy pertaining to my bunghole.
Suddenly, a thought occured to me... "Say, Doc." sez I. "You know all those nosebleeds I was having in December, that you prescribed the saline wash and antibiotic cream for? They were cropping up several times a week prior to the ER visit Xmas eve. Think that'd be enough to throw up an anemia flag??"
He thought for a minute. "Yup, that'd do it. Let's put the proctologist on hold for now."
I breathed a sigh of relief. So did my bunghole. It was kind of embarrassing...
One of my many errands on Friday was a trip to the Doc so he could change the oil, rotate the tires, and have a look under the hood.
All in all, it could be worse. He had the results of my Xmas Eve emergency room blood test, and pulled more blood to get a more timely check of the State Of The Fluids situation.
From the Xmas test, (which I'd not gotten the results of...) my cholesterol levels were good. My blood sugar & A1C levels are OK. Not great, but OK. I still haven't managed to swear off chilidogs yet. Blood pressure was 128/76, so that set of meds is keeping my head from asploding.
One spot of concern was a touch of anemia. This seems to be common in women that have regular visits from Aunt Flo, but not so much in men. I asked what might be causing it, picturing in my mind the pounds of red meat I consume weekly, along with eggs, dried apricots, spinach and other iron-rich foods.
"Well, Cap," said the Doc, "You could be losing blood through your digestive tract. Bleeding ulcer, polyps, any number of things. You're what... 39? Just about time for you to start having the annual finger-up-your-ass exam!"
I could almost swear he sounded gleeful...
He starts to go on about scheduling a visit to the proctologist, and describing the TV camera up da butt procedure, and I'm sort of in a cold sweat, 'cause I'm one of those guys that's got a pretty ironclad "EXIT ONLY" strategy pertaining to my bunghole.
Suddenly, a thought occured to me... "Say, Doc." sez I. "You know all those nosebleeds I was having in December, that you prescribed the saline wash and antibiotic cream for? They were cropping up several times a week prior to the ER visit Xmas eve. Think that'd be enough to throw up an anemia flag??"
He thought for a minute. "Yup, that'd do it. Let's put the proctologist on hold for now."
I breathed a sigh of relief. So did my bunghole. It was kind of embarrassing...
posted by El Capitan | 8:18 PM
<< Home