Happy Birthday To Me

I'd Blow Out All The Candles, But I'd Pass Out For Lack Of Air...

All this past week, I'd been debating how to mark the occasion of my 40th birthday. I knew I was going to do a semi-humorous birthday wish list, but I couldn't decide on the Day of Days whether to do a serious examination of my life, or a lighthearted look at getting older, or just a "Hey, wish me a Happy Birthday in the comments" ego-boost.

I leaned heavily towards the retrospective, but as I composed it in my mind, I couldn't help but notice it stayed on the grim and depressing side. Hell, by the time y'all finished reading that, you'd be washing down your stash of Percodan with a fifth of gin and looping a noose over the rafters.

I couldn't go the frivolous route, either. I'm just not in the mood for it. My youth is totally, irrevocably gone as of today. I talked to my mother last night, and when she asked what I was doing, I said "I'm watching the clock as the last minutes of my 30's slip away..."

All day long, people have been saying "You're only as young as you feel!"

Well, I'm feeling old & worn out. That's just how it is.

Damn, there's that grim and depressing shit poking its nose out of the rathole...

The truth of the matter is that I'm feeling very Edsel-ish at the moment. You remember the Edsel? It was a failed marque put out by Ford in the late '50s. It was a fairly decent car, but it just failed to click with the public, and in spite of some unique and attractive features, it's now just a footnote in the history books.

Well, whether I'm an obsolescent model of Homo Sapiens or not, I'm still gonna go eat a big slab of prime dead cow tonight. Add a side of buttery garlicky asparagus spears as big as your... uh... well, big, anyway. Perhaps some grilled zucchini and crookneck squash sprinkled with sea salt, olive oil and balsamic vinegar. Maybe spring for a bottle of Brunello de Montalcino, or an Amarone. Definitely save room for dessert. I'm thinking strawberries & zabaglione with a snifter of some Frog brandy that's been marinating in an oak barrel for several decades. Or an apple crumble with some Armagnac... Hmmmm. Maybe both...

After all, you're only 40 once...