Baboon Pirates

Scribbles and Scrawls from an unrepentant swashbuckling primate.

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Location: Texas, United States

Monday, July 21, 2008

Cinematic Suckularity

I Should Have Gone To See The Batman Flick...

After a weekend spent mostly indoors parked in front of a computer or testing the couch for suitable napping positions, I got an urge late Sunday evening to actually go do something before I ran out of weekend.

A quick perusal of the flick schedule showed I was too late for 'Hancock' and 'Wall-E', but I could still catch a showing of 'Hellboy 2' or 'The Dark Knight'. Assuming (correctly, as it turned out) that the theaters for the Batman movie would be packed, I went for 'Hellboy 2'.

Wow. Big mistake there. That movie sucked more ass than a metric ton of Amazonian Buttcheek Leeches dumped on a proctology conference.

I liked the first 'Hellboy' movie. It had a pretty good balance of action and humor. This one? Not so much...

There were three times during the flick that I contemplated getting up and walking out. Surprisingly, the Barry Manilow scene wasn't one of them, which tells you this movie had three scenes WITHOUT Barry Manilow that could be considered worse.

Nothing about this movie fit right. You had over-the-top action to no real purpose, one-dimensional characters, stuff thrown in just for a "Gee Whiz" than didn't help to advance the story... I could go on, but I'm really tired of thinking about this waste of celluloid.

So, FWIW, 'Hellboy 2: The Golden Army' gets two thumbs down, followed by letting my cats crap upon it.