Some Thoughts On 'Avatar'

Techno-Junkies Versus Flying Monkeys

I went out to see the new James Cameron magnum opus 'Avatar' last night.

I went to the non-3D showing. I'm not particularly susceptible to 3D-induced motion sickness, I just didn't want to wear the silly glasses for 2 1/2 hours...

As I'm sure you've heard countless times already, this is a visually stunning film. Barring some heavy-hitters like 'Lord of the Rings' and 'Lawrence of Arabia', I can't think of many films that deliver a solid overdose of eye-candy from start to finish. No, the CGI/reality overlap isn't seamless, but it's pretty damn close.

The ecology of the alien moon Pandora is well-thought out and reasonably consistent. The same cannot be said for the characters or plot, unfortunately. Most of the characters are kiddie-pool shallow, and you've probably seen the story of The Plight Of The Noble Savage done with more zeal in a 1950's western.

You're also subjected to not-too-subtle digs at the War on Terror and out-of-control capitalism, imperialism, jingoism, and quite a few other isms that the leftists dislike.

This is not to say it's a bad movie. I enjoyed it very much, and will probably go see it again just to look for things I missed the first time.

I have a feeling this movie is going to resonate pretty strongly with the fanboy legions. Look for piles of discarded vampire fangs and the emergence of geeks wearing long braids, war paint and tails.

Another thought that hit me while watching the movie was that 14 year old kids on home PCs are able to replicate the whiz-bang Hollywood special effects that cost boatloads of cash barely a dozen years ago. With as fast as technology moves, how long will it be before this 162 minute 250 million dollar movie can be churned out by 6th graders as a semester project??

Minor spoilers to follow... If you haven't seen the flick, you might want to bail at this point.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

Did they really have to call the rare mineral mined on Pandora "Unobtainium"?

Speaking of braids and tails, wouldn't it seem more plausible for the blue dudes to have their bio-USB connector at the ends of their tails instead of at the end of their hair braid? If you shave part of your scalp, as seemed common amongst the males, do you cut your available bandwidth by the same amount?

Towards the final 30 minutes of the movie, the phrase "Nuke 'em from orbit... It's the only way to be sure!" seemed appropriate. I just can't see a starfaring civilization getting bitchslapped by some backwoods treehuggers, and slinking back to Earth with their tails between their legs.

While I'm completely in favor of comely blue humanoid female critters running around mostly nekkid, I've seen enough National Geographic magazines to know that the older females of Neolithic cultures usually have tits hanging down past their waistlines. This was not apparent in 'Avatar'. Maybe these aliens tie 'em in a knot, or something...