Age Takes Its Toll...

Wrinkles?? Quelle Horreur!!

You wouldn't hink a big ol' fat man would have any room for vanity, would you?

Neither did I, until just recently...

Believe it or not, there are a few minor advantages to being hugely overweight.

A) All things being equal, fat people are harder to kidnap.

B) Most fat folks, when tossed in deep water, bob like a cork.
(I am the exception to that rule...)

C) We are prized as bed warmers on cold nights, and don't kick up a huge fuss about cold feet.

and D) We don't get all wrinkly when we get older.

Unless, of course, we start losing weight...

While squinting into the mirror to trim the 'stache last weekend, I noticed some new additions to the face. Little bitty crow's feet outlining either eye. Son of a F%&^$#)% B*%&$!!!

Look, just shut up about "The wrinkles just add character!". I've enjoyed looking half a decade younger than I really am. It's only going to get worse as I keep shrinking, too.

Sigh... What's next? Cataracts? Hammertoes? Bunions?

It's enough to make you want to devour a deep-dish pizza...