Baboon Pirates

Scribbles and Scrawls from an unrepentant swashbuckling primate.

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Location: Texas, United States

Tuesday, June 28, 2011

Not Quite The Result I Was Expecting...

More Fun & Games While Working For The Man

So, I get this email today:
June 28, 2011

El Capitan
A Van Down By The River
Houston, TX 77777

Dear Cap:


This position has been filled. Although your credentials are impressive, there were other candidates whose qualifications more closely match our specific position requirements or preferences.

Should you need additional assistance, you are encouraged to contact the Hiring Department, whose phone number can be found on the Job Posting, under "Application Procedures."

Thank you for your interest in employment with The Man and good luck in your job search!


Human Resources Department for The Man

You gotta love a form letter. It just oozes with warmth and hugz.

Wanna hear the funny part?

I actually got the job. Well, OK, just the title, but I'm trying to be optimistic here.

Me & a co-worker got called on the carpet last week and informed that we were being bumped a pay grade and offered a new title. The very same title listed above.

I'd actually applied for the position, my co-worker had not. So much for taking the initiative...

No money accompanies the bump. It seems when our tiny band of happy warrior-bureaucrats moved from The Man's Office to Human Resources, they failed to transfer our complete budget, just our salaries. So, the best I'll get is new business cards.

There's a chance they'll do an equity adjustment in the future, but I'm not holding my breath. My co-worker & I are currently 8K below the median pay for that position, so I'm pretty torqued about this lack of even a token raise.

Adding insult to not-quite-an-injury, since this is still technically a promotion, I'm obliged to go take the mandatory Promotional Piss Test.

I hope they give me enough notice to eat a pound of asparagus and wash it down with a quart of black coffee beforehand. I want them to enjoy the test as much as I will!!