Scraping Out The Earworm

Never *Ever* Listen To Sunny 99 FM!!

I had a dreadful earworm yesterday. I won't inflict it on you, other than to say it was a song by the Stylistics, an early 70's Philly R&B group. *shudder*

The only way to shake it was to sing obscene ditties.

Y'all might as well join in the fun...

The Schlong Song
(To the tune of "Turkey In The Straw")

Does your schlong hang low?
Does it wiggle to and fro?
Can you tie it in a knot?
Can you tie it in a bow?
Can you throw it o'er your shoulder
Like a continental soldier?
Does your schlong hang low?

Does your schlong stand high?
Does it point up to the sky?
Does it glisten when it's wet?
Is it crusty when it's dry?
Can you violate your neighbor
With a minimum of labor?
Does your schlong stand high?

Repeat ad nauseum et libitum

I Need A Sheep
(To the tune of "Scotland The Brave)

Bring me some whiskey, mother,
I'm feeling frisky, mother.
I need a sheep to keep me warm through the night!
I need a lover, mother,
No, not my brother, mother.
I need a sheep to keep me warm through the night!

Gerbils don't make it, mother,
They just can't take it, mother.
I need a sheep to keep me warm through the night!
Owls, bats and other critters,
Just tend to give me jitters.
I need a sheep to keep me warm through the night!

I need some lanolin
Softer than flannel-in
I need a sheep to keep me warm through the night
I need an ovine lover
No other so-fine lover
I need a sheep to keep me warm through the night.

Some think a swine is fine,
And some like a horse of course, but
Those in the know, know that sheep are the best!
Their fleece is soft and white,
They keep you warm at night.
England may rule the seas, but Scotland's depraved.

Monogamy is folly
I think I'll clone dear Dolly
I need a sheep to keep me warm through the night
Twins, triplets and quadruplets
Sheep lovers know the scoop--let's
Find us a sheep to clone for pleasure tonight

Snails, bats, and other critters
They just give me the jitters
I need a sheep to keep me warm through the night
Bring me my sheets of rubber
Bring me my peanut butter
England may rule the seas, but Scotland's depraved.