Baboon Pirates

Scribbles and Scrawls from an unrepentant swashbuckling primate.

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Location: Texas, United States

Friday, April 14, 2006

They F#&% You At The Drive-Thru!!

And Now For Something Completely Different...

Uncovered a mystery the other day. Didja ever slide into a drive-thru for a quick meal, place your order, pay, and then have the attendant ask you to drive around front, and they'd bring your order right out?

It's happened to me fairly frequently, especially when I place an order for something that'll take a while to prepare. I try to always order something unusual, so they'll make it fresh, and I won't get a burger or chikwich that's been baking under a heatlamp. If you've got 5 cars behind you, and 3 of 'em just want a drink, it makes sense for you to clear out of the way so they can empty out the drive-thru lane.

Recently, I've been asked to pull around to the front even when there's no one behind me. It always irked me a little. What does it matter where I am if I'm not holding up the line? Besides, if I'm there by the window I can keep an eye on the knuckleheads inside. More then once, after they swipe my debit card through the reader machine, I've caught them laying my card out on the counter in easy reach of any in-store customer.

I finally found out why they ask you to move. Turns out they're on the clock. Their Corporate Overlords track how long it takes for a car to place an order, and how long it takes that car to leave the window, supposedly after completing the transaction. Stores are graded on how low they can get their wait time.

So, in order to fudge the numbers, even though your order won't take that long when you're there alone, if they can get you to clear the lane, it shows up as a 15-30 second transaction. This helps to offset the 5-10 minute wait times they get when they're getting slammed.

Now that I know it's all about the $$$$s, I'm gonna start demanding freebies. You want my help jiggering your numbers? I want a free piece o' cheesecake! Hell, throw in a large order of onion rings, and I might even forget to email this blogpost to your Corporate Overlords!

Heheheh... play this right, I'll eat for free everywhere!!