Baboon Pirates

Scribbles and Scrawls from an unrepentant swashbuckling primate.

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Location: Texas, United States

Thursday, August 27, 2009

Weirdness Abounds

Headin' Into The Dog Days

There's a lot of weird shit goin' on out there...

Here's a random sampling:

Had a sit-down over at one of The Man's institutes of incarceration the other day in order to dispense some pearls of wisdom to the staff. While sitting outside in my truck, I witnessed a lady cop with an ass as wide as an axehandle berating some poor schmuck on the sidewalk. As she turned and stomped off in a huff, I took a peek at her duty weapon, just to see what it was. Appeared to be an H&K USP, but definitely a Plastic Fantastic bullet-flinger. It also had a dark gaping hole in the grip. She was walking around without a magazine in the weapon. W....T...F...

There was a Hispanic guy passed out on the sidewalk of the paint store right next to the Taco Bell near my house. Laid out, arms flung wide, and dead to the world, surrounded by empty taco wrappers. I decided I'd rather eat at Wendy's.

When one or more black olive slices fall out of your Subway sandwich and roll across the floor, studies have shown that 2 out of 2 cats will not eat it, but they will lick the meatball juice off of the olive slice.

If you're going to hire someone to search the yard for a lost heirloom ring, post a notice in a prominent place, like maybe the front door. This prevents a sleepy resident from getting a gun out and throwing down on the guy with the metal detector and shovel rooting through the flowerbeds at 7 a.m. on a Saturday morning. I'm just saying, is all...

Keep your head down, y'all. It's a long way until winter!