Ode To A Temptress

Once waxy paper covered your lean flanks,
in days long past when disco rattled and thumped,
now you are sheathed in silvery foil;
Always in pairs, a trio at a time,
Now offered in sextuplets for a dollar more,
a bargain for the wallet, alas, not for my butt.

I curse the day I first touched your smooth skin,
Your sugary sweetness beguiled me completely,
A mocha colored coating, perfectly serene;
Never to be sullied by the fiery roar of toasters,
No, you are best at ambient temperatures,
Where the flaky crust remains soft and toothsome.

I try to avoid you, but you chase me down the aisles
waving Satanic offers, irresistably discounted on Double Coupon day;
I look longingly at brittle bars of oat and honey,
wishing for willpower to join the hippies of the Granola Munch;
Nay, for me the silent chew of the fresh toaster pastry.

Damn you, you cursed siren! You cinnamoned and brown-sugared nemesis!
I am lost in the grasp of the evils of Pop-Tarts, but only of your kind.
May heaven have mercy upon my unseen toes...
Kellogg, Kellogg, why hast thou so afflicted me?