Peeing On The Poobahs

In The Metaphorical Sense, Anyway

All the Grand High Poobahs are out of the office today on a "Executive's Retreat", so my day is now freed up for slacking off, and not putting out the numerous brush fires the Poobahs seem to ignite by their very existence. It seems that The Man or one of the 14 Councilme Nazgûl can simply speak the name of our division, and it's like tossing a dead weasel in a henhouse. You never saw so many feathers flying for no necessary reason.

I'm sure you'd like to think I'm more dedicated to my job that that last statement made it appear. I'd like to assure you that I truly am that jaded. Not to mention just a bit annoyed that the Poobahs, who should already possess most of the management skills that a Poobah should require just to be able to wear the Poobah Hat, will spend a day offsite learning the latest methods for carving sticks with which to beat their underlings.

Call me a delusional dreamer, but if you take all that money devoted to (let me get all the buzzwords in) "dynamic strategic synergistic management rightthinking paradigmatic world-class utilization" classes, and instead just toss some bonus money towards the line troops for doing things correctly, you'd see performance improve by leaps and bounds. A juicy carrot beats the stick anyday.

However, statements like that just prove I'm not 'thinking outside the box' and that I 'don't have a valid assessment of the current worldview'.

Sigh. Someone please beat me with a large mallet if I start turning into one of these types!

UPDATE: Yes, I am aware that Tolkien canon states that there are only 9 Nazgûl. However, the realm of The Man is exactly 1.5555555555555555555555555555556 times as evil as Mordor, necessitating the addition of 5 more Nazgûl.