Baboon Pirates

Scribbles and Scrawls from an unrepentant swashbuckling primate.

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Location: Texas, United States

Friday, July 21, 2006

M. Night Shyamalan Still Sucks

I See Dead Studio Executives...

On the release day of M. Night Shyamalan's new movie 'Lady In Water', I'm pleased to announce that if you do a Google search for "M. Night Shyamalan sucks", yours truly is sitting in the pole position. I could only manage the #2 spot for 'M. Night Sucks", but that's behind the Ain't It Cool News movie review site, where Harry Knowles's collected posse of mouth-breathers can't spell 'Shyamalan' correctly.

I slagged M. Night's films pretty hard in January of last year, and with the new movie release, I'm getting tons of hits off that search term. I'm having a ball watching the server logs. Someone at the Dreamworks movie studio came in, then several more IP's from that domain followed. Guess my post was the topic du jour around the water cooler...

Then, sometime in the wee hours of the morning, some anonymous M. Night ass-remora left this comment:
you're an idiot. wonder why you keep going to his films if you thought 6th sense was a waste of money. stop hating and let's you make a film that someone like you can ramble on.
night in shining armor

I love these little tidbits of erudition! I'd fisk his/her grammar and word errors, but that's too easy a target.

"night in shining armor", let me explain... (and I'll use small, easy-to-grasp words)

Criticism is not hatred. I bear no personal ill will towards Mr. Shyamalan. I don't wish for rabid hyenas to gnaw his testicles off. I reserve that wish for people who post irrational anonymous comments!

He's simply an overrated filmmaker. His ideas are juvenile, his dialogue is stilted, and his decision to insert himself into his movies is the product of an overweening ego.

So, why do I continue to spend the money to see his films? Mostly, 'cause I'm an optimist. Visually, he's very good at what he does. His films suck plot-wise, but they look great. His casting choices are usually very good. I take exception to his choice of Paul Giamatti as the lead in this latest film, but that's mainly because of my admittedly prejudicial behavior. See, I first saw Giamatti in Howard Stern's movie, and he's now forever typecast in my brain as "Pig Vomit".

One of these days, the studios will clamp down on his ego and bring in a real scriptwriter and producer to rein him in, and he'll turn out a decent film.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I think I'm going to the theater to see.... Clerks II.