Baboon Pirates

Scribbles and Scrawls from an unrepentant swashbuckling primate.

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Location: Texas, United States

Monday, September 18, 2006

The Random Question Meme

Just What You Wanted, More Personal Trivia...

Stolen from KurtP at A Trainwreck In Maxwell.


What is your salad dressing of choice?
I loves me some Creamy Eye-talian.

What is your favorite fast food restaurant?
Whataburger. That being said, the perfect fast food meal would be:

Appetizer - 3 White Castle cheeseburgers

Main Course - Whataburger double-meat bacon cheeseburger
McDonalds pre-80's fried-in-lard fries w/ Whataburger ketchup
Burger Street onion rings
Taco Bueno Chicken nachos
Jumbo Chicago-style hot dog

Dessert -
Steak & Shake chocolate milkshake
Pint of Dairy Queen soft-serve ice cream.
And... a fistful of Rolaids!

What is your favorite sit down restaurant?
Two defunct places, Harvey's in Houston, TX; and the Key West Grill in Arlington, Tx.
The Keg Steakhouse, a Canadian chain, is very nice, as is Ashiana, a local Indian place.

On average, what size tip do you leave at a restaurant?
Usually 20%. If they're an asshole, only 5-10%. I don't penalize the waiter for kitchen screwups.

What food could you eat every day for two weeks and not get sick of?
Chili Dogs.

What are your pizza toppings of choice?
Sausage, onions, mushrooms.

What do you like to put on your toast?
Butter & apricot preserves.

What is your favorite type of gum?
I don't chew gum.

Number of contacts in your cell phone?
Probably 36-40, out of which I call 3 on any regular basis.

Number of contacts in your email address book?

What is your wallpaper on your computer?
The City Park in San Marcos, Texas.

What is your screensaver on your computer?
A slideshow of my nephew Sammy.

How many televisions are in your house?
5, counting the old MacTV. Two haven't been powered on in months.

What kitchen appliance do you use the least?

What is the radio station you listen to the most?


What do you consider to be your best physical attribute?
The wimmens seem to like my eyes. Who am I to argue?

Are you right handed or left handed?
Both. Depends on what I'm doing.

Do you like your smile?
Yeah, it's OK. Years of orthodontia was worth it. I suppose.

Would you like to have something removed from your body?
Heh. About half my body weight, which would still leave me a fat bastard.

Do you prefer to read when you go to the bathroom?
Nope. Get in, get out. Otherwise the sewer weasels have time to home in on you.

Which of your five senses do you think is keenest?
Used to be my eyesight, but age is taking its toll. I'll go with sense of smell.

When was the last time you had a cavity?
I think I've got one now...

What is the heaviest item you lift regularly?
The 40 lb buckets of kitty litter. Every. Frickin'. Week.

Have you ever been knocked unconscious?
I passed out from a prescription drug interaction once, but was never knocked cold.

**A bunch of stuff-OLOGY**

If it were possible, would you want to know the day you were going to die?
Yeah, the day of the week, but not the month or the year.

If you could change your first name, what would you change it to?
Something non-biblical. When my full name gets read aloud, it's like a New Testament roll call.

How do you express your artistic side?
Why do you think I keep this foolishness going?

What color do you think you look best in?
I'm told blue sets off my eyes. I like dark green & khaki, though.

How long do you think you could last in a medium security prison?
I'm sure I'd get shanked pretty quick, either for refusing to be someone's wife, or pissing off the Aryan Brotherhood.

Have you ever swallowed a non-food item by mistake?
Do bugs count?

If we weren't bound by society's conventions, do you have a relative you would make a pass at?
No comment. I have relatives that read this thing...

How often do you go to church?
Mostly for funerals.

Have you ever saved someones life?
I like to think so. Hard to say, really. That's a post for another time.

Has someone ever saved yours?
Mom Heimlich-ed me when I was 5 or 6. Took me 20 years before I could eat a butterscotch candy without immediately chewing it up.

Would you walk naked for a half mile down a public street for $100,000?
Can I pick the street? There's some lonely country roads out in West Texas.

Would you kiss a member of the same sex for $100?
I'd do that French peck-on-both-cheeks thing. Otherwise, no.

Would you allow one of your little fingers to be cut off for $200,000?
Ummm, no.

Would you never blog again for $50,000?

Would you pose naked in a magazine for $250,000?
Only if it's never imported into the States.

Would you drink an entire bottle of hot sauce for $1000?

Would you, without fear of punishment, take a human life for $1,000,000?
Depends. If you pick out a random person on the street as the target, I'll tell you to go fuck yourself. If it's a shot at Castro, Bin Laden, or some other unquestionably heinous person, whip out that checkbook.

Would you shave your head and get your entire body waxed for $5000?
Sure. It'll take about $5000 worth of wax, though.

Would you give up watching television for a year for $25,000?