It Had To Happen Sooner Or Later...

Time To Switch To Ranch Style Beans!

There's apparently a law (or strong FDA recommendation) in food labeling that you have to describe contents according to their proper proportions. I first became aware of this when as a young sprout I saw a package in the frozen food aisle that was labeled "Gravy & Beef Slices". Seems that by weight there was more juice than meat, hence the order of the wording.

Same thing with ingredients. They're listed in descending order of predominance. Usually. See, there's a few exceptions out there that somehow get past the usual safeguards.

Take Pork & Beans, for example. Everyone knows there's always an entire can of beans in sauce, and one tiny piece of mushy pork fat floating on top. If you're really lucky, there's a smidgen of actual meat attached. Still, it's labeled Pork & Beans, not Beans & Pork. I guess that's because we're so used to saying Pork & Beans, it wouldn't sound right the "legal" way. Also, the Pork & Beans lobbyists have probably worked out a deal where they're exempted from proper labeling.

I recall a joke from a long time back on some sitcom where they talked about one day when there was an unnatural chain of events at the Pork & Beans factory, and one lucky person would get a can of Pork & Beans where it was completely full of pork, and there would be one single bean in the can.

Friends and neighbors, that day has arrived:



I'm pretty sure the pig already ate the bean, though...