Baboon Pirates

Scribbles and Scrawls from an unrepentant swashbuckling primate.

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Location: Texas, United States

Monday, June 04, 2007

Back To Good Health? Snot Just Yet...

I Ought To Buy Kleenex Stock

My, my, my... another weekend without a blogpost. I'm getting pretty Zonker-iffic in my posting frequency!

I had no great plans for the weekend, aside from getting some rest. Saturday was spent mostly asleep. Usually this leads to my spending all night awake, and I'm completely shattered come Monday due to a arsed-up sleep schedule.

Not this time... I just continued shoving Betsy Cat off the bed, falling back asleep, and reawakening a few hours later to find the cat reapplied to a new section of my epidermis, soaking up my body heat. I'm always concerned about rolling over on her while asleep, but so far she's always managed to move before I do.

Time not spent horizontal was spent sitting on the edge of the bed, blowing my nose. I'm amazed by the sheer amount of goopitous gunk that can be generated inside one's skull. One of my sinus cavities is a parched wasteland, each inrushing of air assaulting exposed nerve endings. The other sinus cavity is a seething swamp of white blood cells, mucus and various bacteria, in a state of constant warfare, periodically ejecting the dead and dying troops out towards the Tunnel Of Light in approximately 15 minute intervals. Every time I roll over in bed, the sinuses switch roles, quickly followed by the corresponding ear getting clogged up via the Eustachian tube acting as a storm drain.

I'm wondering if there's money to be made on one of those internet fetish sites. Surely there's some sicko who gets off on snot expulsions. I could make some serious coin here... I mean, I'm like Ron Jeremy when it comes to shootin' nose wads. I'm bustin' a Money Shot 4 times an hour.

Alas, all things come to an end. I scored some amoxicillin on Saturday afternoon, and the green & gooeys are starting to thin out. I've lost 95% of the bronchial rattle, and I'm only coughing once an hour. I imagine by Wednesday, this bout of sinusitis will be a not-so-fond memory.

Any tree-huggers out there wanna recycle a trashcanful of used Kleenex?