Thanks A Lot, Professor Know-It-All...

Next, Internment Camps For The Obese

Oh, this news is just got-damn helpful...

Cold virus may spur weight gain: study

A common virus that causes colds can be a factor in obesity, according to a study released Monday offering further evidence that a weight problem may be contagious. The adenovirus-36 (Ad 36) has already been implicated as the cause of weight gain in animals, but with this study researchers showed for the first time that it can also cause humans to pile on the pounds.

The findings could accelerate the development of a vaccine or an antiviral medication to help fight the battle of the bulge alongside diet and exercise.

"We're not saying that a virus is the only cause of obesity, but this study provides stronger evidence that some obesity cases may involve viral infections," said Magdalena Pasarica, an obesity researcher at the Pennington Biomedical Research Center at Louisiana State University in Baton Rouge.

A previous study found that almost a third of obese people are infected with the virus compared to around one in 10 of their leaner counterparts

Y'know, it's effin' hard enough maintaining some semblance of a social life when you're fat without something like this coming up. All those friends that piss & moan about going from a waist size 32 to a 34 as they get older are now gonna avoid me like the plague lest they catch the Fat Bastard Virus.

Also, let's be realistic about things. Antiviral medications aren't likely to help me and other "wide load" types drop the pounds. Classifying chili dogs and double cheeseburgers as a Schedule 1 substance would be a much quicker fix...