Katie Couric: Reptoid??
This Might Perk Up Her Ratings!
Y'know, people will believe some pretty whacked-out stuff. Whether it's the Apollo Conspiracy nutters, the Flat Earth dipshits, the supporters of Lyndon LaRouche, the believers in the Secret Cabal Controlling World Tofu Prices, or just the ravings of the local Tinfoil Hat Brigade, there's no lack of dumbasses doing their best to perpetuate bad craziness.
One of my favorites is the one concerning the Reptoids. According to the Egg, Scale & Forked Tongue Crowd, there's been a secret society of lizards masquerading as humans since the dawn of time, and they're doing their best to prepare the way for a cold-blooded reptile takeover. As the Reptoid Theory goes, all major political and business figures are really lizards in disguise.
George Bush? Disguised Reptile.
Bill Gates? Disguised Nerdy Reptile.
Queen Elizabeth II? Disguised Frumpy Reptile.
Now, usually I would instantly dismiss this as the creation of those poor souls who've sniffed one too many cans of paint thinner. However...
They might be onto something!
Check this out: Katie Couric could very well be reptilian!
Look!
This standard CBS PR headshot shows the "human skin" stretched just a bit too tightly over her reptilian brow ridges!
Look here... in a moment of stress, Couric's lizardy mouth muscles involuntarily relaxed, revealing a maw that can swallow a football sideways!
Here, Couric was captured in mid-leap as she pounced on a small animal!
In this secretly taken photo, Couric led the American Lizard Society in singing their Repto-anthem "Hiss, Hiss, Growl, Snap, Hiss"!
In this pic, a young Couric learned to open wide to devour whole kittens!
This photo Shows a fully-grown Couric preparing to feed on an invalid. Apparently the bald head goes down the throat easier.
This photo was found tucked into the folds of a shed Couric-Skin outside CBS headquarters... I think it's proof positive!
Just remember, no matter if she's human or reptile, Katie Couric has the utmost respect and love for all of humanity!
Y'know, people will believe some pretty whacked-out stuff. Whether it's the Apollo Conspiracy nutters, the Flat Earth dipshits, the supporters of Lyndon LaRouche, the believers in the Secret Cabal Controlling World Tofu Prices, or just the ravings of the local Tinfoil Hat Brigade, there's no lack of dumbasses doing their best to perpetuate bad craziness.
One of my favorites is the one concerning the Reptoids. According to the Egg, Scale & Forked Tongue Crowd, there's been a secret society of lizards masquerading as humans since the dawn of time, and they're doing their best to prepare the way for a cold-blooded reptile takeover. As the Reptoid Theory goes, all major political and business figures are really lizards in disguise.
George Bush? Disguised Reptile.
Bill Gates? Disguised Nerdy Reptile.
Queen Elizabeth II? Disguised Frumpy Reptile.
Now, usually I would instantly dismiss this as the creation of those poor souls who've sniffed one too many cans of paint thinner. However...
They might be onto something!
Check this out: Katie Couric could very well be reptilian!
Look!
This standard CBS PR headshot shows the "human skin" stretched just a bit too tightly over her reptilian brow ridges!
Look here... in a moment of stress, Couric's lizardy mouth muscles involuntarily relaxed, revealing a maw that can swallow a football sideways!
Here, Couric was captured in mid-leap as she pounced on a small animal!
In this secretly taken photo, Couric led the American Lizard Society in singing their Repto-anthem "Hiss, Hiss, Growl, Snap, Hiss"!
In this pic, a young Couric learned to open wide to devour whole kittens!
This photo Shows a fully-grown Couric preparing to feed on an invalid. Apparently the bald head goes down the throat easier.
This photo was found tucked into the folds of a shed Couric-Skin outside CBS headquarters... I think it's proof positive!
Just remember, no matter if she's human or reptile, Katie Couric has the utmost respect and love for all of humanity!
posted by El Capitan | 2:46 PM
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